Because he does it all for love’s sake

celebration in Thailand 4

Let me tell you about my man. He’s not one of life’s movers and shakers, a risk or glory taker. He’s more of a shake-and-move-slow and an all-for-love’s-saker.

A man who played competitive football with zest, zeal and energy into his 50s. Only pausing to be able to take better care of me.

He was athletically inclined, sporty and strong, lithe and nimble, able and capable of doing most things he turned his practical hands to.

And now he bends under the strain of life’s burdens, the repercussions of workplace bullying and having a severe mental health breakdown; made lower still with spinal problems and Parkinson’s disease.

He’s too sick to hold down a job, but he is (thankfully) more mobile and capable than I am of taking care of the household tasks.

A lot of things have stopped him in his tracks. Life’s trials have emptied him of his previous vigour and vitality. Yet he gives to me so freely and willingly.

Because his heart is full. Full of love and care and kindness and compassion. Full of faithfulness. My man is tender, loving and servant-hearted, exemplifying Jesus to me.

We struggle on together. And during this week when M.E has a greater international awareness than usual, I wanted to write in praise of him. Most M.E sufferers would find their lives far more challenging without assistance from their carers. And he is that for me, despite his own disabilities.

My man may not be publicly acclaimed. He isn’t one to seek the limelight. He may not be much in the eyes of society, but he means the world to me.

My love – this poem is for you, with deep gratitude for all you are and all you do each and every day…

All for love’s sake

love is - all for love's sake PJ poem pin

He climbs the hill that grows

ever steeper by the week

Breath escapes in gasps as he pauses

now, aware of curious glances

But conscious more of his own

growing astonishment; how did

he come to this? A man made

small, constrained in movement

that once felt fluid, as smooth

as water – rendered turgid

And still he presses on because

errands need to be run, and

his are the legs to reach their

destination with comparative ease

His wife relies on him in ways he

wishes didn’t exist; her life now

bound to the house with M.E

and his tied to love’s desires,

life’s great demands and needs

Devotion steels his spine again

He straightens an aching back

and faithfulness becomes

the rack on which he stretches out

Extending and spending himself

in numerous little ways

as one who willingly acts,

he shakes – though firm with resolve,

giving his all for love’s sake


awareness_ribbons for ME

An often overlooked aspect of raising awareness for M.E  and chronic illness is not only our need for extra help and support with life’s daily tasks, but  also publicly acknowledging the ones who actually and actively meet that need for us. Hopefully my words have helped you to see a slice of life from the carer’s side as well, although everyone’s circumstances will differ, of course.

International ME Awareness Day is on May 12th, 2016. The whole month is devoted to it too.

Thank you for reading, and for your patience with the paucity of posts of late. I may not have had much spare energy to write here as often as I used to, but you can find me spilling forth words at my main site – Words of Joy – instead. I’d love to see you there. 🙂 x

17 thoughts on “Because he does it all for love’s sake

  1. Such a loving testimony of your husband, Joy. His sacrifice and faithfulness are so touching. I am blessed, too, with a doting husband. We are so blessed to have husbands that love us so dearly and put our welfare above their own comfort. God bless and keep both of you!

    • Trudy, it makes all the difference in the world to have a “doting husband” to take good care of us, doesn’t it? Not only that, they also act sacrificially because they “put our welfare above their own comfort” and reveal aspects of God’s goodness and grace to us. I’m so pleased you share this blessing! May you have a restful weekend, dear friend. Xx ❤

  2. So beautiful, Joy. What a wonderful husband you have been gifted…but from getting to know you recently, I know he is also deeply blessed with you. Love how God is growing you together through the hard: sounds to me like you both have incredible empathy for each other. Thank you for giving us this glimpse into ME caregiving and also the service of your beautiful-hearted husband and thank You, Jesus for drawing near to Joy and her husband through their great suffering.

    • Anna, I know how truly blessed I am with my husband, but I often fail to see how he is blessed by having me as his wife! It can feel like I’m more of a burden than a lifter of his head. He sees the worst of me and still loves me with the best of himself. That’s grace! Yes, since he has become less well over recent years, I think we have grown in empathy and understanding toward one another. I feel his pain acutely, and it opens my eyes to how he must perceive my struggles. Propping one another up is the order of our lives, even if my major way of giving support is emotional and prayerful. Thank you, Jesus, indeed. We couldn’t cope without Him! Bless you for your kindness and empathy. ❤

    • Thank you, Jedidja! It seems touching to me, too, when I read my words over again. But when I wrote them I was just trying to be honest about how I see things and the gratitude I feel for the gift of my husband. He may not be perfect (although he sounds pretty close here!), but he is God’s grace-gift to me. 🙂 x

    • Hi Pamela. It’s lovely to see you here! The support we have from our spouse goes a long way in helping us to cope better with chronic illness. I just wanted to give my man his due and show some public appreciation of his loving care. Thanks very much for stopping by to leave a comment. Bless you, friend.

  3. Pingback: ME: what it’s like to live with ME and chronic illness | Poetry Joy

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