#Livingthequestions

Making space for not knowing

/ Joy Lenton / 19 Comments

Spiritual insight can hover light as butterfly in the air, fluttering gentle in the breeze, alighting soft on our senses.

Or nudge like a querulous child, becoming ever insistent.

Maybe it sparks bright, a lightning flash of inspiration.

However it strikes us ~ holy whisper or holy fire ~ we do well to pay attention.

Any reading of Scripture yields wisdom and insight as much as it throws curve balls.

We put on Holy Spirit lenses to help us focus on the meaning, application and practical outworking.

“What do we do with all the hard/weird stuff in the Bible?”  is the question being pondered over at Diana’s place this week. Do we ignore, refuse to ‘go there’, puzzle, pause, pray, or something else?

Some of how we answer it depends on our faith roots. I began my faith journey in a happy-clappy Pentecostal church, drifted into Baptist, kept a foot in Anglican, and spent many years in Independent Evangelical.

Over time, my ‘bible-thumping-in-your-face-are-you-saved?‘ days gave way to deeper reflection and grace. Made space for the ‘not knowing’ aspects of faith.

Now I am leaning toward the Contemplative and finding church is everywhere (TV and internet)  and nowhere in particular for me when housebound by M.E.

And in the letting go of fixed ideas, hungering after authenticity wherever I can find it, I find myself in a position of simply wanting to let go of too much concern about all I don’t understand.

The Bible is God’s great narrative, His story to draw us into relationship with Him ~ the whole purpose of it all.

The essence of Christian faith is faith in a Person ~ Father, Son and Holy Spirit. And people are complicated. So why shouldn’t God be even more so in the way He operates?

We can only move forward in faith, trudge wary of the weird stuff, trusting Him to reveal all He desires us to know in His own timing.

‘Trudge wary’

I tread timid, blind, in need of a Guide

I trudge wary, uncertain ~ with You by my side

And if You should choose to keep things concealed

it makes me appreciate all that’s revealed

There are treasures hidden in darkness deep

to be mined by those with eyes to seek

Challenge and certainty, joy and adversity

all wrapped up in Your word ~ to loose, set free

There are areas that puzzle, confuse and stretch our minds

and others of the straightforward, simple kind

For I still can barely comprehend

Your mercy and grace, love without end

So why should I, with great temerity,

expect You to reveal all things to me?

Should I not make room, give space

for the protective nature of Your grace

Allow for Your Spirit to open my eyes

in a gradual way ~ day after day

Knowing I can only handle so much

surprise, information, knowledge, as such?

©JoyLenton2014

God is always speaking. He is never silent. Sometimes we cannot hear Him above the chaos of the world or the noise of our own thoughts. Time taken to listen attentively is never time wasted. Much can be gained in the Quiet Place.

In essence:Although I’ll continue to wonder, ponder, question and seek answers, I also choose to rest easy in God’s great sovereignty. He alone knows how to encourage open-hearted investigation while making sure we receive all that is necessary for us to trust and believe and live well for Him.

 Joining here with friends:Diana, Mel and Lyli

Through a glass darkly

/ Joy Lenton / 11 Comments

We see through a glass darkly.

A fairground hall of mirrors with shadows on the wall, distorted views.

Feet sinking into clay for those rooted to earth.

Easy to get stuck in the pit and lose The Way midst its miry depths. Feel the pinch as Master Potter re-shapes our clay form.

We cling to edges. Cry out in fear. Paste on clown smiles while bleeding on the inside.

For what is loss? What is gain? What or whom can be trusted with all the grief and pain?

Who has the upper hand when we’re all just kicking dust and sand?

Calamity calls and we cringe away, bewildered, running scared. Reluctant to face or embrace.

Until..

We remember One who ate dust as we do, choked on tears, felt pain within, without, gave and gave some more to secure our freedom and release from all that stings painful. 

He didn’t deserve to die. We don’t deserve His sacrifice. Bad things happen to good people. Sadly, this is a sinful, fallen world.

We live in an upside-down, here-but-not-here-yet Kingdom where we begin to accept the cloud of unknowing is part of belonging. 

And we look to the cross. Consider Calvary. Weep for the loss and rejoice in the resurrection. Marvel that His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts. 

All He asks is for us to lean on Him. Rest on His word. Seek strength and help in time of need. Find comfort and share it with others.

Meanwhile, we live with smoke and mirrors, with mystery and mayhem, with pain and with promise, with unanswered questions and faith.

One day all will be made clear. We will know even as we are known. For now? We trust and obey. Believe all sorrow, sadness, suffering and pain will come to an end and glory will come out of it all.

Prayer draws us nearer to God’s heart and there we find all the comfort and reassurance we need to keep us afloat. We begin to see an open door of hope through the painful places.

Though we may still emerge with unanswered questions, in the listening and leaning we learn to release the pressing need to know and rest in trusting all that we do understand.

God’s words to me a few months ago still hold good for today. I hope and pray they will bless you too.

Prayer Whisper:’Surrender’

“Remember that I am only a breath, a prayer away. I live within you by My Spirit. You have access to all My gifts because the greatest gift of all is Christ in you, the hope of glory. Deep in your spirit rests the Spirit of the Living Christ. All of His qualities and abilities are available to you by faith. Though He works through your human body, there are still no limits to what can be accomplished according to My will.

As you surrender more and more of yourself to Me, as you allow Me to take, make and break you, as you let Me work in and through you ~ then the possibilities are limitless, for I have no boundaries. Take your eyes off yourself and your circumstances and focus on Me. Do not allow yourself to become swamped and overwhelmed by the challenges before you. I am keeping you safe through every storm.

Rest in My provision for you. Despite how it seems, nothing shall in any way harm you. The quiet centre of your being where I reside is invulnerable. Seek Me. Seek the Quiet Place and you will become renewed, refreshed and restored for the journey ahead.”

“In returning and rest you shall be saved,” says God through the prophet Isaiah, “in quietness and confidence shall be your strength” (Isaiah 30:15). They are all parts of each other. We return to our deep strength and to the confidence that lies beneath all our misgiving. The quiet there, the rest, is beyond the reach of the world to disturb. It is how being saved sounds.” ~ Frederick Buechner ‘Whistling in the Dark’

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body” ~ 2 Corinthians 4:8-10

Joining here with friends :Diana, Mel and Laura

Putting the pieces together

/ Joy Lenton / 19 Comments

I see it all around. The very air we breathe is thick with the sound of it.

Sorrow hangs heavy. Need drives us to our knees.

People are crying out for grace ~ but they don’t even know it.

Souls weep silent into pillows when losses outweigh any gains and hopes wither and die.

What or who can save us from ourselves and the pain we have to press past on a daily basis?

When life breaks us apart, where do we go to be put back together again?

In my life, the answer may come quick and easy. But the living out? That’s a lifetime’s work.

Renewal and restoration cannot be rushed. Full and complete healing cannot be hurried.

Jesus saves. We know it. We read it. We believe it. We sing about it. And yet..

This world has a way of swallowing us whole and spitting us out. Broken people living fractured lives.

So what does grace look like?

It wears the face of Christ. It’s the very heart of God. Nothing weak or namby pamby about it.

This is grace:It’s solid, muscular, with bite crisp-clean into a bountiful harvest of real gritty righteousness. It floods and fills all the empty spaces of our existence with strength, power and might. 

Living as we do in the tension between the ‘now but not yet’ of the Kingdom, we are people in transition, works in progress by God’s grace.

Much is changing and moving forward, and much still requires transformation to come.

‘Variant themes’

I’m broken, fractured, full of holes,

splintered, wrecked right into my soul

Pieces from the past pierce and press sharp

tearing fierce into the tenderest of parts

Deep calls to deep in the thundering roar

of Your waterfall’s steady, refreshing pour

Wounds fester and hurts remain sealed

in a life crying out to be rescued and healed

Echoing chasms where Your voice is heard

and we drink thirsty of its life-giving Word

How do the variant themes unite as one

perfect melody, harmony and song?

Strung as pearls, lustre-reflecting beads

shine bright and pure in you and me

Discordant sounds may shatter the air around,

joy remains ~ as seed rooted to the ground

Stop. Slow down. Breathe. Listen closer. Pause a while.

Walk gentler. Carry lighter. Don’t forget to smile.

©JoyLenton2014

As to the question, “How do I make all the pieces fit?”, I think the answer is, we can’t do it ourselves. God never intended us to bear that burden. It’s too weighty for our frame.

And that’s a freeing statement. It opens the door to Holy Spirit intervention.

The shards of our shattered hopes and dreams become a marvellous mosaic in God’s hands.

When we take those broken pieces of our lives, frayed fabric of our days, torn edges of our thoughts, tangled threads of our theology, gaps and holes in our flawed and imperfect understanding ~ all become sacrificial surrender, holy offering, and a handing over to the Master Potter and Architect of our souls.

He alone can fully mend, heal, renew and restore to better than it was before. We seek, ask, do our part, trust, rest, and leave the outcome up to Him. 

It isn’t easy. Everything inside cries out to know and understand beforehand. Relinquishing control is a challenge.

Resting is a conscious choice, and the best way of allowing God’s peace to replace anxiety and stress.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” ~ Jeremiah 29:11

Joining here with friends: Diana, Mel and Lyli. 

Against the tide

/ Joy Lenton / 10 Comments

In the flotsam and jetsam of life we soon discover our shared humanity.

It is said that time and tide wait for no man. We cannot claw it back or alter its progress.

Similarly, suffering is universal. Pain, loss, grief, hardship, sickness, calamities beset us all.

Though there is no way of assessing its intensity. It is personal and painful, no matter what.

What is minor for one is major to another. Comparisons are useless. We can only accept suffering of varying degree exists and is hurtful to all who experience it. 

Where do we turn to in our suffering? Or, more correctly, whom?

There is One who Scripture depicts as ‘a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief/familiar with suffering’. He took our shared humanity, knows and understands intimately what we go through.

Jesus bore every sin, sickness, dis-ease of every kind on the cross for us.

He willingly embraced it all for the joy set before Him ~ of restoring us back to the Father’s side.

‘Against the tide’

Calamity cracks us open to the core

revealing our frail humanity

exposing vulnerability ~ tender, flawed

Beneath this skin, the carapace I’m in,

lies a raw, wounded human being

If each person is an island , then

we’re all floating in a communal sea

desperately trying not to drown

It takes courage to swim against the tide

when there’s no sheltering place to hide

Until a safe harbour hoves into view

tugging gentle on our heartstrings

willing us to steer strong and true

Vessels rest weary, depleted, worn,

storm-battered, tattered, torn

Ready to refuel and be restored again,

seeking respite for a little longer

we prepare to face fierce winds and rain

Now with our Captain at the helm

these surging tides no longer overwhelm

©JoyLenton2014

Sinking into the arms of God is what helps us stay afloat in the changing tides of life. He holds us up when we’re too weak, weary and overwhelmed to do more than flounder in the waves.

Being found in Him, we can learn to let go of fear. Find peace and rest. Be soothed and settled. Find reassurance and ease.

Love rescues us. Love surrounds and keeps us steady, on an even keel. Love embraces our brokenness and begins to piece us together again ~ bit by bit. It is the anchor for our souls.

And we see we are far from alone. Others are in the trenches too. Many voices clamouring for relief from misery. Brothers and sisters in suffering.

Those who are strong can help to carry the weak. Sit in the ashes. Hold hands and hearts. Listen and lean hard on solid Rock until the tides turn in our favour once more.

Because the best place to take sorrow, grief, pain and suffering is to the One who can support us through it and works to set us free.

Joining here with Diana and other questing souls as we are #livingthequestions and #livingintotheanswers

You are very welcome to join in the discussion.

Seeking sanctuary

/ Joy Lenton / 19 Comments

We all need a safe place to vent. Let off steam. Be ourselves, warts and all.

Be real and authentic in sharing life and faith issues.

Consider the question, “Is there room for my tears here?” being asked by Diana Trautwein this week.

We read in the shortest verse in Scripture, “Jesus wept”  ~ John 11:35.  Succinct words speaking volumes. He was unafraid to be authentically open and human. Giving us a pattern for being fully human and fully alive unto God.

Our tears are a soul’s lament. Reminder of our weakness, frailty and humanity.

If we try to keep them hidden they still find  a way to rise, unbidden, to the surface.

Revealing deep emotion at the core ~ joy, pain, vulnerability, sadness and grief. The very heart of who we are.

Though we find ways to choke them down and bid them drown in their inner stream.

In the unraveling of life, thought and years, we soon discover our safety and security is found primarily in God alone.

As a body of believers in Christ we are joined by links of love and shared endeavour in the fight of faith.

We’re all invited to enter in, embrace God’s gift of grace seen in Jesus’ suffering, pain and loss for our sakes.

We’re welcomed to a place of love and acceptance. A hospital for the hurting ~ only some churches hide that pretty well.

I’m too weary and worn out to try to pretend I’ve ‘got it all together,’ and too desiring of being a voice for those who are hurting to stay silent in my small-corner obscurity.

Because in the end it comes down to how much we love and are loved.  How much we are willing to give to one another.

Make room in our own woundedness to walk the road with others who are weak and in pain. Be a sanctuary for the seeking, the saved and those sick in body, mind or heart. 

Weep with those who weep. Rejoice with all who rejoice. Lift and uphold each other in prayer. Come alongside and be Christ’s ambassadors in caring for all in need.

The poem below expresses my hopes about being part of the body of Christ, what I am currently experiencing as a member of some lovely supportive writing and friendship groups and the reflective, sharing ‘Living the Questions’ group over at Diana’s place.

Although this is the type of welcome we could (and probably should?) be extending to all our brothers and sisters in Christ.

‘Invitation’

Your tears ~ whether of joy or sorrow ~ will find a welcome here

Your questions and fears for tomorrow we too will share

Your faith journey and experiences in all their rich variety

serve to enrich and inform us of all we still can be

Your need for speaking out in a friendly space

can be met here in this ~ a safe and open place

Your desire to listen, reflect and ponder deeply

is found in this forum and sacred sanctuary

©JoyLenton2014

Sadly, many feel disappointed, discouraged, sidelined, ignored, bruised, hurt and wounded by church. Perhaps we forget we are all imperfect ‘works in progress’. This prayer may help. It was written in support of all wounded warriors.

There should always be room for tears ~ and laughter, joy, hand-holding, lifting up, coming alongside, praying, caring and sharing as we aim to be ‘Jesus with skin on’ for one another.

Joining here with Diana, Mel, Laura and Lyli

Living freely

/ Joy Lenton / 15 Comments

Aren’t you relieved there are no identi-kit Christians?

We don’t have to look or sound alike.

Having unity together is more about fellowship and being united in love than having full agreement on more than the fundamentals of our faith.

We are allowed to be ourselves. See wood where others see trees. Sense Holy Spirit’s presence in a variety of ways.

God meets us right where we are, at our point of greatest need.

He chased me and wooed me with His unconditional Love.

It was something I’d never encountered before, but my empty, old before its time, desperate-child heart yearned for it.

Here was safety. Here lay security. Here flowed acceptance and peace.

And I came to faith in a ‘happy-clappy’ environment where joy and exuberance were the order of the day.

I wore ‘Jesus Loves Me/You’ stickers, a big grin, innocent optimism in sharing my new-found life in Christ, and a profound gratitude toward God for the glorious gift of salvation.

So I continued for a little while until mental health breakdown, partial recovery, followed by life’s multiple challenges, another breakdown and a haunting legacy of childhood abuse sucked all the joy out of life.

Depression and emotional pain skewed my thinking, clouded my judgement, and left me lost in the wilderness for many years.

Where did God feature? Was His love enough? Was it my fault?

A slow recovery took place and I had a fresh revelation of grace. I drank it deep into my very being as soul manna and sustenance.

But having begun my faith journey majoring on love and forgiveness, I was still largely ignorant of sin and reluctant to speak or think about it. This woman was already stained by her past, full of guilt, shame, self-recrimination and condemnation. And God loved her anyway. 

Because, wasn’t God a God of love? Didn’t grace and forgiveness cover all?

Oh yes.

Though grace is cheapened if we fail to fully appreciate the price Jesus paid to secure it for us.

Now, a little older (and wiser maybe?), though I still struggle with self-esteem issues and will always veer the conversation round to grace and encouragement than otherwise, it is gradually dawning on me how sin cannot be ignored or swept away.

And I am still getting my head around how to achieve the balance between hating sin yet not hating myself. Maybe you get stuck there too?

My soul seeks freedom from all that chained me and those things enslaving me now.

I want to embrace grace and be free to give it to others.

So I am leaning into His love as I think. question, talk about sin’s effects and outworkings, see how fallible and tainted I am and yet (marvellously) so dearly loved and cherished by our heavenly Father ~ just as you are too.

******

Here is a ‘Prayer Whisper’ which God poured into my listening heart last February. It still speaks volumes to me and I hope it will bless you too:

file000402181324“How easily you can fool yourself that you’re not sinning. To justify your actions with excuses and cover-ups.

Allow My Holy Light to shine upon your thoughts, words and deeds. Do not be afraid of its consuming power. It will not harm you.

I seek only to burn off the dross and detritus you carry. Such things weigh you down, sully your relationship with Me and sour your interactions with others.

I want to set you free, even from those burdens you have barely noticed as such ~ so familiar have they become.

It is only in the cleansing which follows letting go and laying down that real change and transformation can happen.

Bad habits pollute your mind and body. Once you are able to set them down before Me, you can begin the process of breaking free from them.

Open yourself. Be real before Me. I already know everything about you. Seek to live freely and lightly in the liberty of My Presence.

My purity and power are available to enable and equip you for the next stage of your journey.”

********

“The fact that God is love, that He is pure, holy and righteous is the reason why He is angry at sin. It violates, distorts, and destroys what His purpose is. Wrath is inevitable to a God of love, otherwise the love would be tenuous and weak” ~ Charles Price ‘My Daily Journey with Christ’ 

Joining here with Diana and other questing souls as we are #LivingtheQuestions and #LivingintotheAnswers

This week’s question:”What’s with all this talk about sin?”  You are very welcome to hop over and join in the discussion.

Also linking with Mel and Laura