A bittersweet life

Life can feel as topsy-turvy as a rollercoaster ride.

One moment we are cresting the waves, reaching for the sky ~ the next we sink deep and plummet to earth with a bang.

Our emotions as changeable as the weather and just as unpredictable.

It doesn’t take much. Just check your phone, tablet or i-pad. See how many notifications, likes, comments, follows and positive responses there are ~ or not as the case may be.

Where’s the stability in a life lived by the varying opinions of others?

We are hardwired for love, security and approval. God put it into our DNA.

He expects us to receive the full approval we need from Him alone. Yet we go chasing empty cisterns when His well never runs dry.

How we hunger for validation. Look for any means to satisfy our appetites. Though, if we look in the wrong places,  it soon leaves us emptier than before.

‘Bittersweet’

Approval, compliments and favour

flow sweet as liquid honey

and we savour their soothing flavour

find ourselves craving so much more

to satisfy a desire inside where we

hide small ~ afraid we’re not enough

Disapproval, criticism and derision

sting brutal, sharp as lemon sour

and we shrink further back

into our shells, craven cowards

who lack a shred of self-worth

in our shrivelled disposition

So we swing ~ from pain to bliss

depending on our mood

and how much, or how little,

we feel loved, cherished and approved

Walls cracked as toffee brittle,

defences crumbling, gaping, split

©JoyLenton2014

“We can be sealed for eternity, Christ-bought and heaven-bound but still live like cowards, locked down by the chains of what people might think of us” ~ Jennifer Dukes Lee ‘Love Idol’

The approval monster is an insatiable beast. Offer him tidbits and he will lick his lips appreciatively for a while, but it won’t be long before he’s demanding a full-blown meal or a veritable feast to satisfy his appetite.

As an insecure child at heart, I have been greatly tempted to seek my worth and value in other people and other things.

Our best and most lasting way to find satisfaction is to see ourselves as we are in Christ. Look in the mirror of God’s word instead of sighing over the reflection in the glass.

When the world says:You’re a failure by our standards; you’re ‘less than’ until we say you’re ‘enough’; you’re rejected, unless you come up higher; you’re unworthy, just because we say so ~ how should we respond?

How would it look to live, love, work and write for an audience of One?

How would we feel if we could truly believe and receive how God perceives us?

I’m not sure as yet. I’m feeling stuck, stalled by situations and problems looming large. Sidelined by sickness. Derailed by doubt.

Yet despite these setbacks, I am choosing to study God’s word, relinquish and demolish my ‘love idols’, apply the biblical precepts, draw help from Jennifer’s book see how to grow into a deeper awareness of how much God loves and pre-approves of me, and discover who I already am in Christ.

And that’s the best way to start ~ with a hungry, open heart toward Him. God is a rewarder of all who earnestly and diligently seek Him.

I’d love you to join me as I chart my stumbling journey into wholeness. We have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

There’s a growing community here  seeking to live pre-approved. Would you join us? I hope so. We don’t have to live stalled lives, stuck in the people-approval trap. 

We can learn to release all that’s holding us back from living fully, freely and joyfully committed to God’s ways.

“He’ll validate your life in the clear light of day and stamp you with approval at high noon” ~ Psalm 37:6 ‘The Message’

Joining with friends Ruth Jennifer and Lyli

You have a story to tell

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Sometimes our own words come back to haunt us.

Or an annoyingly catchy phrase from a song lingers way too long.

Then there are the words spoken to us, over us and into our lives.

We live and breathe story. Our lives are wrapped up and unfold in it.

The tangled threads of our days are being woven into a greater narrative of God’s design.

He finds ways to bring what we need to hear and heed back to our remembrance.

It happened to me recently. Words hung in my head and called me to pay attention. I found them in my Prayer Journal.

The ‘Prayer Whisper’ below was received over a year ago but it meets me where I am right now as a woman of faith, writer and poet.

And it whispers gentle into my future still hidden in Christ.

As an M.E and chronic illness sufferer, who is still battling a painful past by the grace of God, I need to believe it’s not all about me and my troubles but about how He is bringing me through them.

God calls me to share my pain and the overcoming of it through poetry and prose. Maybe you can do that too? We all need to know we are not alone.

There is hope. You matter. Your story matters to us and to God.

In the sharing of it we are all enriched, encouraged and supported, inspired to believe for good outcomes.

My hope and prayer is that you will find courage to share your story and grow stronger in the process.

‘Prayer Whisper:Your story matters’

You have a message to share. You have a story to tell. Surrender the outcome to Me. All I ask of you is that you are willing to write as I guide, speak as I direct, and listen continually for My promptings. Sometimes words will flow and be written down; other times you wait in faith and trust, with expectancy, and I will provide as you take the first step.

Surrender your tools to Me. Your pen, paper, keyboard, phone or voice. In My hands they will accomplish far more than you can imagine. If words stall and you feel blocked from speaking, do not allow fear to paralyse you further. Continue to believe that I will provide.

There will be seasons of bounty and seasons of fallow. Believe I am in both. Your heart may need surgery. Your attitude and thoughts may need correction. It is necessary to purify and make you fit for purpose.

Then you will come forth as gold and shine with My radiance and glory. I will renew and restore what is broken and lost. You still see holes. I see more areas where My grace can filter through.

Trust the work I am doing in you. Broken, weak and wounded people surrendered to Me are the most beautiful vessels to reflect My Light to others”.

Joining here with Ruth for #letterto ~ ‘Letter to a future me’

And with Jen as we find heaven in the everyday

Monster bashing

Being scared witless is a thrill-seeking activity for some.

They thrive on the excitement and huge surge of adrenaline it gives them.

Nothing satisfies like being brought to the edge and left hanging by a thread.

Horror/scary movies and roller-coaster rides are a drop in the ocean for such people.

Barely worth raising a sweat for.

I’m not one of them.

Having had much to disturb my equilibrium (and cause emotional highs I could live without) as a small child was enough for me.

It doesn’t take much to rock your world when it’s been turned upside-down by those you trusted to take care of you.

Too much real-life terror can make us crave security and stability at any price.

My peace isn’t rooted in my circumstances, but in the One who is both within and outside of them.

God is intimately involved and concerned about every aspect of our lives.

And He alone can give us all the resources we need to fully deal with the things that scare us, cause us grief and pain.

Childish imagination can run riot. We see life through the lens of the ‘what ifs’ and ‘possibles’.

As adults, we can look at life that way too – often in terms of worry and anxiety – or by asking ourselves, “What if I invited God into this situation? I wonder what would be possible then?”

Have you any ‘monsters’ looming large in your life?

Maybe it’s time for a bit of monster bashing.

‘Monster bashing’

As a child I climbed wary up ‘apples and pears’

for who knew what lurked at the top

of our steep stairs?

Someone might think it a wheeze, a lark

to pop out of a doorway

in sheltered dark

so my heart beat fast and I ran

into my bedroom

safe at last

though only for a little while

as there was much besides

to wipe off a smile

What if…instead of the stairs

there was something lurking

Under There

waiting to snaffle my delicate toes

with tongue poking out

‘neath its bulbous nose?

My breath held still, waiting

while feet slid cautious

under covers, hesitating…

then let out an exhaled sigh

silly me with imagination

running sky-high

Though no night terror could compete

with the monsters inside

my home and street

given freedom beyond my years

I could have been one of

those who disappears

finding, as I did when fully grown

that monsters loom large

more in heart than home

no longer safely contained

under my bed but barely

restrained inside my head

Largest of all is the monster FEAR

which paralyses us greatly

from getting anywhere

He seems unstoppable, untamed

until I remember to cry aloud

in Jesus’ Name

for every monster lurking in our head

has to flee when God’s authority

is stated and said

Even if they return to do their worst

by the power of the Cross

they’re defeated and cursed

So whatever monster you’re facing today

be it fear, anxiety, stress,

don’t let it hold sway

be on your guard, put your armour on,

keep the faith, say a prayer

stand tall and strong

for we’re fully protected by God’s grace,

His poured out blood, love, righteousness

and forgiveness covers

all shame and disgrace

©JoyLenton2013

Linking here with the lovely Ruth Povey for #Letterto This week’s prompt is:‘Letter to the monster under the bed’

You are warmly welcome and invited to join in.