Do you ever wonder where time disappears to? Me too.

Each and every one of us has the same 24 hour allocation yet none of us will spend those hours in exactly the same way.

As an M.E and chronic illness sufferer, time may seem endless in terms of hoping for improvement and recovery.

Sleep can prove elusive and erratic.

Rest is far from restful if pain intrudes too much.

The life I dream of seems to slip through my fingers like grains of sand while I scramble to catch them.

Where did all those wasted minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and even years go?

I was laid low,  or slept through many of them.

Moans at midnight.  Sighs at dawn.  A body rising stiff to greet a day already half over for many.

Here I am:

A woman with training and experience that lies wasted.

A nurse needing care myself.

A poet penning in PJs.

A wife without the means to be a proper helpmate or companion.

I wrote the poem below at such a time of introspection. It spoke for how I felt then and may speak into your situation too.

‘Black Hole’

There’s a space

in my life

where time disappears

down a black hole

already littered

with discarded hopes

dreams and desires

enough to fill

several craters

stacked high

or light

a multitude

of funeral pyres

Where does it all go?

How do these things

slip away

from my grasp

writhing hither and thither

with eel-like slither

when all I want

to do

is clasp them

to my heart

and cry, “Stay!”

Maybe I’ve

risked too much

extended thought

and expended energy

on things not

really meant to be

some crazy schemes

foolish inanities

to become

a bonfire

of the vanities

©JoyLenton2013

And yet..

This is looking at things from a limited human perspective only.

Time is redeemable when our days and ways are surrendered to the One beyond its restrictions.

He uses everything in our lives for His purposes. Not a crumb is wasted.

How do you feel about time disappearing?