Do you ever wonder where time disappears to? Me too.
Each and every one of us has the same 24 hour allocation yet none of us will spend those hours in exactly the same way.
As an M.E and chronic illness sufferer, time may seem endless in terms of hoping for improvement and recovery.
Sleep can prove elusive and erratic.
Rest is far from restful if pain intrudes too much.
The life I dream of seems to slip through my fingers like grains of sand while I scramble to catch them.
Where did all those wasted minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and even years go?
I was laid low, or slept through many of them.
Moans at midnight. Sighs at dawn. A body rising stiff to greet a day already half over for many.
Here I am:
A woman with training and experience that lies wasted.
A nurse needing care myself.
A poet penning in PJs.
A wife without the means to be a proper helpmate or companion.
I wrote the poem below at such a time of introspection. It spoke for how I felt then and may speak into your situation too.
There’s a space
in my life
where time disappears
down a black hole
with discarded hopes
dreams and desires
enough to fill
of funeral pyres
Where does it all go?
How do these things
from my grasp
writhing hither and thither
with eel-like slither
when all I want
is clasp them
to my heart
and cry, “Stay!”
risked too much
and expended energy
on things not
really meant to be
some crazy schemes
of the vanities
This is looking at things from a limited human perspective only.
Time is redeemable when our days and ways are surrendered to the One beyond its restrictions.
He uses everything in our lives for His purposes. Not a crumb is wasted.
How do you feel about time disappearing?