abandon: on surrendering our lives to God

 

Being abandoned, even temporarily, feels devastating. Nothing else quite strikes at the core of who we think we are and what our perceived worth and value might be in another’s eyes.

Many of us feel the sting of shame at being rejected or abandoned by our birth parents, whether at birth , later on by the way we are treated, or as casualties of our parents’ splitting up.

Such things leave scars which can mar us for life, if we let them. I only began to fathom what unconditional, fully accepting, lavish love looked like when I came to faith in Christ in my late teens.

I still marvel over our Heavenly Father adopting me into His family, viewing me as His oh so precious, beloved child. And I am not alone in this, because that’s how He sees you too, my friend, and longs to be in a close, loving, intimate relationship with you.

There are some barriers in the way at first, most of all our sin. Though unbelief and rejection of His love can also be a hindrance to receiving it. Thankfully, Jesus made a way where there seemed to be no way.

His death on the cross and glorious resurrection are the means whereby we become reunited to God. They reveal how we, too, can learn to die to sin, overcome our shame, guilt and pain and rise again in newness of life with Him.

Once we see and believe just how much God loves us, we start to realise we are never as alone or abandoned as we might feel. And we are given daily grace and strength from Him.

Abandon

I want to become a prisoner of

Hope, abandon myself on the altar

of dependence, and rest in God’s

all-sufficiency—because he has given 

us the greatest abandonment of all

nailed fast to a wooden cross

 

Jesus chose to abandon himself

to death, to suffering, to ultimate sacrifice

for our sin, for our sake, for our lives

He chose the path less travelled, seeking

 

to be a servant of all, relinquishing

his kingly crown and throwing down

the gauntlet to the kingdom of darkness

which had us in its thrall

 

Now we, who were orphans of circumstance,

hostage to habit, taunted by temptation,

have become beloved daughters and sons, children

of God instead of life’s lost, unwanted

ones. We’ve received a fresh heritage

 

made rich by faith, given a brand new

start, new heart, clean slate, on which

our Father God can write his eternal glory

story—as we abandon ourselves willingly

to surrender, and close relationship with him

©joylenton2017

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed. but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body” ~ 2 Corinthians 4:8-10 (emphasis mine)

Happy to be linking my (rather late), poetic #FMF words in companionship with fellow wordsmiths gathering at Kate Motaung’s site. Just click here to join us there. 

**NOTE** – If you’re seeking solace, you might like to read my poetic memoir journey of discovering grace in life’s hard places. It’s available free today to download here on Amazon Kindle.  🙂

clear: seeking to trust God’s revelation of Himself to us

 

Life and faith are not always clear to us or easily understood. Often, there are more questions than answers, more wondering about the meaning of life and less living in wonder.

Try as we might, we soon realise our finite minds cannot fully comprehend the divine. We feel like blindfolded walkers stumbling through a long, shadowed tunnel, anxiously trying to make out the way ahead. Where is the light and won’t someone remove our blindfold, please? 

What if we put uncertainty aside, allowed God’s word to speak to us in a clear way, to read us as we’re reading it? And if we tried to absorb its truth by soaking in the promises and believing them.

What would it look like to immerse ourselves fully in His story more than in speculation over how it all possibly came to be—to get to the heart of the matter by way of God’s beating heart for us?

Maybe we still wouldn’t have clear, concrete answers to the myriad questions in our minds, but it is possible we would be more easily satisfied to live into the answers to come, to let faith draw us deeper into wonder, rather than leave us wondering what to do with all the unsettled issues.

Because what matters most is relationship, getting to spend quality time in God’s presence, learning His will and ways in a natural, gradual way, relaxing our worries into His hands and learning to trust Him more than we focus on our cares and concerns.

My first poem below suggests God’s overseeing of things, even if they may look dark, blurry or seem invisible to us.

“even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you” ~ Psalm 138: 12 NIV

Clear as day

Night is clear as day

to our Creator-King, Lord

of all living things

©joylenton2017

 

And when we do begin to grasp how God is always revealing Himself to us in the everyday, can we actually turn aside from daily preoccupations and deliberately catch sight of His presence?

“Now Moses was keeping the flock of Jethro, his father-in-law, the priest of Midian; and he led his flock to the west side of the wilderness and came to Horeb (Sinai), the mountain of God. The Angel of the Lord appeared to him in a blazing flame of fire from the midst of a bush… yet it was not consumed. So Moses said, ‘I must turn away [from the flock] and see this great sight—why the bush is not burned up'” ~ Exodus 3:1-3 AMP

Can I turn aside?

Can I turn aside

like Moses—witness my King

burning daylight bright?

©joylenton2017

 

Finally, there will come a Day unlike any other. We will see God as He is, know and be known fully, comprehend what has been deep Mystery beforehand.

“The sun will be turned to darkness and the moon to blood before the coming of the great and glorious day of the Lord. And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved”~ Acts 2:20-21

On that Day

On that Day the King

will be revealed in glory

everyone will kneel

©joylenton2017

 

These haiku have been written in response to the prompt of ‘King&Day’, this week’s haiku challenge from our Haiku Master, Ronovon.  If you’d like to read the rich variety of posts being shared and maybe join in, too,  just click here.  🙂

season: finding soul sanctuary in tough times

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How did we get to March? I seem to have missed the memo. Just like some friends across the pond are still deep in snow, waiting for the melt, for a season of spring to show, I seem to have been hibernating in stillness, a needful slowing down on the inside while taking on extra physical and mental busyness.

I need a soul sanctuary. It’s here—borne on the wings of prayer, coming to me as I wait patiently before God, learn to still my restless heart and find my deepest peace in faith and trust, as I navigate through life’s hard places with His guidance and support,  His energy and strength given whenever it’s needed.

It’s a holy breath, a whispered answer to prayer, a divine call to come aside for a while and rest deeper in Him. Our soul sanctuary is available for any season of the soul or season of life. There is no place where we can fail to meet with God’s grace.

Fresh rain sanctuary

This pure night frost, blanketing winter

tendrils beneath soft moon peace, leaves

deep cloud, cold air we breathe; and a 

thick, moist, fresh rain sanctuary cycles

like wild, sacred water song, murmuring

long summer secrets of our Eden rest

©joylenton2017

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While I wait for my husband to be fit enough to leave hospital following his spinal surgery, the clock inches ever closer to a significant birthday for him. I don’t know how, when, where or if we’ll find an opportunity to fully celebrate it, but my hope and prayer is for us to have a season of togetherness, joy and celebration soon, instead of a season of separation, sickness and pain. Hence the poem below…

My wild desire

Coffee is my liquid magic

It’s good to wake and make time

here for remembering my wild desire:

to embrace, be healed, eat cake and 

celebrate this life with champagne kiss

©joylenton2017

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When we take our needs and wild desires to God we can trust Him for the outcome and all He plans to do with them. Things might not look like we expect or hope they will, but it will be the best fit for you and me, because God knows the innermost secrets of our hearts and is able to bless us beyond measure in meeting those needs in a way that also serves His overall plan and purposes.

How is this season speaking to you? I’d love to hear in the comments below. 

*NOTE* ~ My poetic memoir, ‘Seeking Solace’ is free for a few days on Kindle, from March 7th to March 11th inclusive! If you’re seeking solace yourself, or know someone else who is, then my story of discovering God’s grace in life’s hard places may well aid the journey. You can get it here… There’s also a paperback version available if you prefer.  🙂

awakening: experiencing a fresh awakening to joy during Lent

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I don’t know about you but I could use a fresh infusion of joy right now. Life has a way of grinding us down low to ground and leaching joy right out of our hearts. So how do we go about receiving a fresh awakening to joy in a season where we feel weak, weary or discouraged?

My faith points the Way to discovering all Hope and Joy in Jesus, because the best way to climb out of a pit of pain and despair is to recognise Christ’s constant presence with us, (yes, even, and especially, as we sit in dust and ashes, feeling low or lost) and His hand always reaching down to save us.

God never leaves us to our own devices. In fact, through Christ, He has paved the way to draw us joyfully back to His Father-heart, a way which this season of Lent makes clear and evident.

And we soon discover how the path to the cross is strewn with challenge and pain before the great release from the tomb and celebration of the resurrection Hope Christ gives us. In recognition of this, I’m praying for God to give you and me a fresh awakening to joy during our own times of sorrow and sadness, shame and pain.

My friend, I can’t pretend to know what you are going through, what keeps you awake at night or makes your heart quail, but I can offer a virtual hand to hold, a shoulder to lean on, a friend to confide in if you need one, and my prayers for you during this season of Lent.

May we learn to come alive again on the inside as we place our faith and trust in God. May we have a fresh awakening to His loving presence and begin to find joy creeping back into our hearts again. Each week during Lent I intend to offer a poetic response and a few words of hope and encouragement. I hope you will join me. Here’s the first offering about Ash Wednesday.

A fresh awakening

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We kneel with last Palm Sunday’s

burnt palms arising as ashes, smudged

on foreheads; and we receive a fresh

awakening to Life Himself in our own

dying to self

These days of denying and fasting and focusing

on death will become precursor to rising

in newness of life—like grains of fallen wheat

our souls become broken, crushed, before

being made whole

And hearts honed in humility will soon

see an uplifting as we draw closer 

to accepting our own mini-Calvary

We’ll witness our dross nailed firm

to Christ’s cross

This season unveils the very reason

for his Incarnation—makes manifest

the Man of Sorrows made flesh and

tears at our own hearts of stone, now

weeping like his

©joylenton2017

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worship: why silence might be one of the best ways to pray

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Do words fail you sometimes? Maybe get stuck on the tongue, swallowed back like tears? We think language should be simple, just one person conversing with another, as easy as breathing, fluid as air.

But there are moments when we don’t know quite what to say to one another, never mind speak to God. Prayer can stall into silence. This may seem like we’re not praying at all, but I think silence is actually one of the deepest mediums for prayer and a great way to align ourselves with the divine.

During times when our words are stilled, we find other ways to communicate with God. Tears and inaudible, deep-seated groans of the soul still rise as incense before Him. Silence makes space for restful, worshipful contemplation.

There is no language, no tongue, no hindrance to communication with God. Our very posture speaks volumes to Him, as does our inner ache, sadness and pain.

What about worship? Doesn’t that require words?  Ideally, we want to express our heartfelt feelings before our Lord in a vocal way, though worship is myriad things and more of a lifestyle decision than a song.

God sees our hearts and hears their silent cries—our intentions and desires are laid bare before Him before we breathe a word or sing a note.

If, like me, the season you are going through has made voiced prayer hard to do, words failing to form due to the lump in your throat or heaviness of heart, please know that God understands it all, sees into the depths of your soul and is busily answering before you feel able to utter a single word.

Worship

Let our language spring as sweetly

languid as summer sky, lazy on

the tongue, and soaring like sea spray

We’re wanting an upbeat life and 

to swim together, like sunlight still

aches to shine with worship, whispering

music like a smooth honey symphony

©joylenton2017

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You and I can rest in Love’s soft shade, rest our weary souls before God and know we are being loved, seen and heard. In the shelter of His safe, protective love we grow strong again.

“He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress; my God, in him I will trust’…. He will cover you with his feathers and under his wings you shall take refuge” ~ Psalm 91: 1-2,4

Love’s soft shade

Our lonely spirits can thrive

and shine by Love’s soft shade

For every life has dark garden

vines from earth’s root fall, but

warm, gentle Eden rain cycles

like sacred river song beneath

light, wandering wind harmony

of deep fresh air we breathe

©joylenton2017

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We can communicate with God through silent tears and a broken heart. Maybe, like Ann Lamott, the only prayers you feel capable of right now are of the “Help, Thanks, Wow” kind, and that’s okay. He understands. Start where you are and a flow of words will eventually come.

safe: learning to trust when life feels unsafe

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My childhood didn’t fully prepare me to trust or feel safe and secure in the ways I might have hoped it would. But it did lead me to seek for ways to lighten the darkness in my child-heart by enjoying the simple pleasures of life, like blowing bubbles or chasing butterflies.

Not all of the methods I chose were actually safe or helpful, until God shone the light of His presence into my life and I was undone in the best possible way. Because up to then, love had been far from easy, unconditional, lavish or free.

Life can feel less than safe in this dark world,  as I still wrestle with demons from my past and deal with myriad challenges in the present. Yet my hope and faith are safe, secure, resting on God’s redemption, goodness and grace, His wild, wild Love and forgiveness that covers all my sin, and His broken heart for a suffering world.

In thinking about the word ‘safe’ for this week’s five-minute-friday prompt, several things suggested themselves. There was even a first attempt poem that didn’t quite feel right, though it may well get shared another day.

I am so grateful God is a God of second chances—as well as second thoughts—and how He has provided this alternative poetic offering unexpectedly today, albeit a bit later than planned.

Safe

The watery womb was my home

I nestled close, listening to thrum

of human heartbeat, soothed again

by its sweet refrain rhythm

 

And as I stretched my limbs

I sensed the confines of this space

gradually closing in

 

It was time—time to be born

before my time to die—time

to breathe, live outside this home

 

I sensed movement, tightening

and squeezing. It didn’t seem safe

but I trusted to my fate

 

Then a soft night light shone warmly

on my screwed up face. My eyes had grown

unaccustomed to the Light

 

Hands groped for my body, held me

tight, as lovingly as can be, cradled

me safe, welcomed me to life

 

And I knew, instinctively, despite

how different this would be, how hard

my Father was still holding me

©joylenton2017

Please click here to join us for the #FMF link up. You’ll be blessed by the beautiful writing and warm, supportive community there.  🙂

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how love and light are just within our reach

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Does this world’s darkness make you want to weep? Do you feel overwhelmed at times by the brokenness and pain in your life? Me too. But we don’t have to despair, my friend.

Because light and love are all around, seeping into our consciousness. And they are most apparent for those with eyes to see them. If we get locked into cynicism, grief and despair we may fail to see just how much God permeates this world with His light and love.

Our vision can get warped and skewed by circumstances and situations not of our choosing. But if we look with eyes of faith, then we begin to see that life is more than 50 shades of grey, far more than 100 ways of being beige. There is light and life and love and colour just waiting to be discovered by hungry hearts.

Because, filtering softly from dawn to dusk is an invitation to look beyond the immediate, to grasp hold of the eternal right here, right now, in our midst—an invitation to taste holy Mystery.

And even when the darkness descends in such a way that it seems to temporarily blot out the sun, even then the Son of Righteousness Himself will rise in our minds and hearts when we turn in faith to Him.

This is our plea and prayer…

Darkness chokes

This world’s darkness chokes

life and strangles hope. Oh Lord

let your Love-Light shine

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And God helps us to view things from His perspective…

Only in the light

Only in the light

of God’s love do we begin

to see our true worth

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Then He reminds us how all heaviness of heart is able to be lifted from us as we surrender our burdens to Him and rest in His loving provision for us…

My burden is light

My burden is light

My heart is heavy, full,

holding love for you

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Hold on through the dark seasons. Keep the faith when you are faltering and struggling to believe. Because whether you can sense it or not, God is holding on to you and He won’t ever let you go. His greatest joy is to bring His love and light into your life, to turn mourning into joy, heal your brokenness and give you beauty for the ashes of your life.

These words and haiku poems have been inspired by Poet Master Ronovan’s latest weekly haiku challenge of Love&Light. Just click on the link to see how it works and to read the great variety of posts being shared.

change: when life is far from the cat’s whiskers

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How do you view the prospect of change? It can seem exciting for many as they look forward with eager anticipation to the next new experience and all it will bring to them. And for others? It can fill them with dismay and become something to be feared, because change has potential to be such an unwelcome intrusion into our lives.

The longer we stay in one place, maintain a fixed mindset or refuse to move with the times, the harder accepting and adapting to change can become. And it’s often those whose circumstances keep them glued to a place,  stuck fast in their ways, who need (or are forced to endure) a regular routine, who can become wary and weary of doing things differently.

Though unlike cats, who are thought to be gifted with nine lives, we only have one wild and precious life, as Mary Oliver so famously said, and need wisdom in how to live it well. Being overly cautious doesn’t seem the best approach to take if it means we’re living in a limited, less than trusting way.

In my poetic responses to my inventive, creative friend, Kat Myrman’s  ‘Twittering Tales’ photo prompt this week, I couldn’t help but focus on the potential challenges facing this imaginary woman with a cat on her lap. I’ve lived long enough to lose quite a few friends and family members, sat with death and disease frequently as a nurse, and come face to face with my own limitations on a daily basis.

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Tired, sweetly supine in her

arms, this dear feline friend

remains more faithful than

the rest, whom time and age

gradually removed, dispersed

(140 characters)

 

She didn’t want to go, leave

this house and home, for who

else would know how to take

care of her darling cat or give

her such loving attention?

(140 characters)

 

Then I found myself going in a more playful direction here…

 

She stroked him under the chin

and chuckled deep within, for

none could know this cat now

in sweet repose was none

other than a witch’s familiar

(140 characters)

I’m grateful above all things in this fast paced, ever-changing world for the fact that God changes not. He remains reliably faithful, trustworthy, unchangeable, loving, kind and gracious toward us. We may not always be able to see the way ahead but we can always trust the One who is holding us.

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control: relinquishing outcomes into God’s hands

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Control is a slippery customer. The more we try to grasp it, the more it slides through our fingers. And yet we still try to hold on to those things we perceive we have a sense of control over.

They can become a mirage of sorts, shapes in a mist made material in our eyes. Control is a longing stemming back to Eden. Our souls seek to cling to it, and in the process we soon discover how ethereal and insubstantial it really is.

Maybe we’ve had control wrested from us in the name of love, leading to a lasting distrust of feeling decidedly out of control. Because it initiates primal fears, makes us nervous to realise we’re not running the show, that deep down there’s some insufficiency within.

Perceived lack and insecurity are strong motivators for tenaciously hanging on to the thin threads of our thoughts, clinging to desires, people and possessions, as though they could all be taken away somehow, unless we hold on hard.

When we reach out to God instead, we begin to relinquish control of our lives—one small step at a time. We learn to rest in, rather than resisting, His work in us. We develop a relationship based on trust in Someone faithful beyond compare.

And we soon discover that the freedom and liberty we gain in Christ is more fulfilling and meaningful than living a controlling  life where self-control is the hardest thing of all to achieve.

Control

I need to breathe, because I feel out of control

though it’s a human illusion to have complete

ownership over it all. How easily we

forget how our very breath is a gift from God

and every step we take or decision we make

fits within his eternal plan. And His prescience

precedes our existence, like his purpose

outlasts our earthly lives, our desire to build

empires, to dream, to daily survive and thrive

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So I still my soul, as life spins me sideways

I seek to surrender these cares and concerns

these hoped for outcomes—release them all

into God’s safe hands. I choose to trust, just

because we can wear ourselves out on the wheel

or turn toward the One who’s moulding you and me

We’re lumps of clay being shaped by a gentle

Potter’s hands. We’re all potential works of art

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to grace this world with our Maker’s mark

We’ve been given freedom to slip away

from his grasp, or yield to a touch that

only wants the best for us. There’s nothing

keeping us stuck—apart from a willingness

to become all we can be in the hands of Love

©joylenton2017

I’m sharing these free-flowing, imperfect poetic #FMF thoughts with fellow wordsmith friends at Kate Motaung’s place, where this week’s prompt is ‘control’. You can read the amazingly diverse posts being shared and come join us here.

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refine: paring back to neccesity

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It’s that January feeling.  As air sighs out icy purity and trees wear their winter-bare skeletal clothes,  our souls begin to sense how weighed down we really are, how much we need to refine back to necessity.

The excess of Christmas is beyond us. A new year signals time to begin again and waken anew to promise and potential ahead of us. But we’re not always ready to shrug off blankets of lethargy or sloughs of despondency, nor certain of the choices before us.

Hibernation looks inviting. Many of us lack the physical or mental energy to move ahead or make needful changes to our schedule, never mind our lives. I find myself torn between the very real need to snuggle under the duvet and a desire to refine my life.

I need Holy inspiration, wisdom and courage to make lasting change possible. I need God’s strength and guidance to even begin to move forward a little. Change is possible if we pray, seek God’s support, take it slowly and celebrate small victories along the way.  And just like trees, without the paring back we cannot grow or flourish as intended.

Over the next few months I hope to review the vision God has for my life, to discover afresh that releasing is the key to receiving His best. It helps to remember just Who has us in His loving, capable hands.

“Fear can keep you up all night but faith makes one fine pillow” ~ Philip Gulley

A desire to refine

I need to refine my life, clear out

the clutter, remove dead leaves, pare

back to bare bones and finally see

what is at the heart of me. I need

to define my days in the light

of eternity, live complete, wholly

and holy surrendered to my destiny

 

This is a season to rout out

dead wood, slim down to essentials

sift and sort these interior

and outer rooms, ready my soul

for a fresh infilling of Holy Ghost

I long to become a home, a haven

for others—first I need to let loose detritus

 

Because it’s only when we refine

down to necessity that we begin

to truly see who we are, where

we are now and how to become

all God fully intends us to be

©joylenton2017

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I’m happy to be sharing my poetic thoughts with the lovely five-minute-friday writing crew today as we reflect on the prompt ‘refine’. You can find us gathering at our gracious host, Kate Motaung’s site here, and you’re warmly invited to join us.