poetry

This is my calling

/ Joy Lenton / 6 Comments

calling -way forward PJ

Finding our calling in life can feel like looking for the proverbial needle in a haystack.

How do we separate out the wheat from the chaff?

We look for a way forward and find ourselves going in circles.

How can we decide what to focus on to the exclusion of other things, or which path to pursue if we neglect another?

Because in seeking the best we may have to lay aside what seems better, or worthy of our attention.

Perhaps it’s not necessarily a vocation, a task which only we can do, a unique way of life.

Maybe our calling is more of a recognition of what really matters to us, what fuels our passions and drives our desires.

That used to be nursing for me, becoming a wife and raising a family. Then it became more about seeing what God laid on my heart, supporting others who are sick and struggling with chronic illness, being a writer and encourager.

As I pondered on the word ‘calling’ I was drawn more to reveal its hidden depths than to dwell on a single thing of significance.

And as a Christian, I consider above all things that my calling is to live a surrendered, authentic life in the light of God’s Word, by the power of His Spirit and in obedience to Him.

It will be a pathway that others follow, but it will look different on each one of us as we live out our unique, God-given place and purpose in this world.

This is my calling

This life which I own as mine

Days unfolding over time

This is my calling

The way I make my faith-walk

How I behave and how I talk

This is my calling

Being seen and being heard

as I share God’s saving Word

This is my calling

Listening and being aware

what, when, where I need to share

This is my calling

Encouraging others and being kind

Turning the cheek, trying not to mind

This is my calling

Seeing and sensing God’s hand in this world

Helping His purpose become unfurled

This is my calling

©JoyLenton2015

calling - PJ pin

This post is the first part of #31days of five-minute-free-writes as prompted by the #FMF writing community. You can see the writing prompts for the rest of October and find out more here.

Five-Minute-Free-Writes-button

I’ll be taking part on an ad hoc basis as and when I have energy and inspiration enough to do  so. You’re warmly invited to join us.

On saying yes

/ Joy Lenton / 16 Comments

SAMSUNG

There are days where tears bleed as rain and my soul feels swallowed whole by weakness and pain.

I waft into insubstantial shadow, blurred outline, smudged nothingness.

Missing the usual places of validation where my insecure soul gets fed.

Finding that Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) has come sooner to my world as autumnal weather drifts early into our shores, rendering me a mess of emotions.

Needing to stay still, lay down body, hopes and desires. Surrender and sink into unconditional Love’s embrace.

And as I’ve been alternately surrendering and resisting deep soul rest, I sense God asking me to say yes to so many things.

It’s not easy at all, more like a dying on the inside, a howl of outrage and fear of missing out, anxiety over losing acceptance.

Because who am I if I don’t have a face, a voice, connection and a presence on social media?

Who am I? A woman who feels likes she’s drowning in her own seeming insignificance, apparently.

Nevertheless, I am slowly surrendering my need of people approval and leaning into His alone.

And finally beginning to stop begrudging this season of ceasing, of pulling back, of being an edge dweller.

Because deep inside? This hurting child knows that her Father’s wishes are ones to heed, and she whispers her reply.

Yes to being on the margins of life when I’m too weary to participate.

Yes to having deep dependence on Him day by day.

Yes to finding worth and value, significance and strength in Him alone.

Yes to His timing and His plans, and yes to seeking after His heart rather than any other.

Saying yes

I don’t want to say yes

to being insignificant,

small; I don’t want to let

go of desiring to have it all

In saying yes to less

I’m inviting obscurity

to define me more than

any worldly success

Then I remember how you

laid down your heavenly

crown, came manger-wrapped

as a tiny one who never stopped

being God’s only begotten Son

You chose to stay humble

walk a challenging road

bearing our burdens and

sin’s heavy load, while your path

led you to suffering on a cross

with a willing yes as you bore

humanity’s pain and dross

Now with arms open to

all mankind, you welcome

us into a significant life

marked by surrender and

being small, saying yes

to life’s best yes of all

©JoyLenton2015

saying yes PJ pin

Friend, if life or your own thoughts are giving you a hard time too, may I suggest you dive deeper into God’s love for you? Resting in His love is the only place where we can feel safe, protected and truly accepted.

I wasn’t going to write today. Because words haven’t been flowing freely lately and I’ve been way too tired to think straight. Maybe you’re there too? Perhaps you can remember, along with me, that it’s not a permanent place, just a pausing point and breathing space.

But God had other ideas as He planted a few lines of this poem into my mind while I was dreamily drifting. And He gave me the ability and grace to write the rest out of my imperfection and weakness, and also say a heartfelt yes to participating with the lovely five-minute-friday community as they explore the power of ‘Yes’ today. Come join us?

Comforted by presence

/ Joy Lenton / 10 Comments

alone FMF PJ

Scratch the surface of any life, crack us open to the core and, sooner or later, you will find a heart yearning for presence, although we may not even know it.

Our souls crave security, safety and shelter as primary needs. Our hearts crave connection, acceptance, companionship.

We all want reassurance that we’re not alone or as lonely as we may often feel, and to experience being comforted by presence.

Life can be a fearful thing. No-one really wants to be without companionship along the way, a hand to hold, a word to encourage and reassure.

As someone verging more on the introverted rather than extroverted way of being, I long for quiet, space, silence and solitude on a regular basis.

Sitting alongside that desire is a thread of needing to be seen, heard, appreciated and understood. Maybe you can relate?

And most of all, deep down, I want to be loved fully, deeply, madly and personally, warts and all, no holds barred, just as I am….please. Is that too much to ask?

Sadly, my parents left me with a legacy of insecurity and inferiority. They were poor and careless caretakers of my heart.

Only God can offer me (and you too) such depth of understanding, such consistent, reliable, faithful, unconditional love – although my husband has come pretty close during our 40 years of marriage.

My heart craves deep soul connection with others. My mind wants to unwind with like-minded kindred folk. My spirit seeks solace in relationship.

And the great thing is, we are not as alone as we perceive ourselves to be.

There is a certain Someone always looking out for you and me and we have the constant comfort of His reassuring presence.

You are not alone

Mary, full of divine favour, waited

expectantly to birth our Saviour

She was given reassurance of

the comfort of God’s presence

Now, we walk wild through

this world, try to eschew

the things which seek to get

us firmly in their grip

And we are never left alone

even when we feel we’re

on our own, because

God has made His place

of rest within our all

too human breast

He calls our lone heart’s space

His own true home place

His room to be and breathe

ours to respond, receive

and walk within His ways

for the remainder of our days

Keeping our eyes wide open

toward prospect of heaven

for the Kingdom’s only partly come

but will be our soul’s forever home

lit by the radiance of The Son

©JoyLenton2015

I’m sharing five minutes of as-it-comes poetry today with a loving, supportive community of fellow writing friends. This week’s prompt is:‘Alone’. You’re very welcome to participate.

You're not alone PJ pin

Seeking and finding

/ Joy Lenton / 15 Comments

seeking and finding PJ

As I’ve sought to relax into relationship recently by spending quality time with my family, it has been a period of great pleasure,  joy and excitement mingled with adjustment and adaptation.

Because we’re all works-in-progress who change with life’s circumstances, alter with the different seasons we are in.

I have also discovered how easy it is to lose sight of God when our lives are full of other people and other things.

We can forget that God is a relentless Lover of our souls. He craves our company, relishes relationship.

He is continually knocking at the door of our heart to seek admittance, hoping we will allow Him in.

Being with other people is exhilarating and exhausting, often both at the same time.

People are unpredictable, driven by their own inner needs, emotions and desires.

We all have the capacity to disappoint and let one another down, or cause worry and concern.

We need to withdraw sometimes to rest, recover and refuel. Being with God in the silence is a great way to unwind.

Communing with Him is beneficial to body, soul and mind. God is consistent, true to His word.

He will never leave us feeling weary or depleted; on the contrary, God will renew and revitalise us by His presence.

His grace is sufficient for our every need; He restores and remakes us.

I know I cannot do life alone. I depend on God for all the energy, strength and wisdom I need to see me through each day.

My life is all the poorer if I neglect to seek Him during the mundane moments, look for Him in everyone and everything.

We can relax into relationship with Him because He is faithful, loves us unconditionally and always has our best interests at heart.

I’m joining in with fellow wordsmith friends for five-minute-friday as we write from the heart without worrying about perfection. Today’s prompt is:‘Find’.  Do come on over and read the great posts at Kate Motaung’s place. You’re warmly invited to join in with this wonderful writing community.

START…

Finding you

You are in cuckoo’s early morning cry

Breathed out in birdsong from on high

Filtering through the fingers of a new day

Soft streaming light with dawn’s bright rays

Inviting me to pull back the curtain

Arise now, let go and unfurl,

let you into my inner world

I hear you in swish-bend of trees

Sense Holy Spirit whispers on the breeze

Feel your footsteps tender tread

on the stairs of my hollow heart

Hear your voice echoing everywhere

as I begin to make a fresh start

You are the soul solace I seek

You are seeping joy

found in darkness deep

You are treasure mined on earth

You are Life, creativity,

energy, wholeness, new birth

Lord, let me find you here today

Make me receptive in every way

Waken my senses

Alert me to presence

Because you always long to be found

and your radiance shines all around

And when I finally

find myself in you

I see Love threaded through

because you offer only the best

So I exhale my deep-bone weariness

reach out thankful to receive

soul refreshment, grace and rest

©JoyLenton2015

STOP.

“But if from there you will seek (inquire for and require as necessity) the Lord your God, you will find Him if you truly seek Him with all your heart (and mind) and soul and life” ~ Deuteronomy 4:29

Relaxing into relationship

/ Joy Lenton / 1 Comment

lavender relaxing PJ

There are days of summer living when heat is high and energy low and it’s all we can do to muster a clear thought.

Even in coolish UK we’ve been having a few sultry humid days where I wilt like a dry and dying flower.

This is becoming a busier family season for me too.

We spent time away at our son’s home recently and they’re on their way to visit us soon.

Being with family and friends is a precious gift indeed. And one I value more with every passing year.

It’s a time to take a pause from deep pondering and begin relaxing into relationship instead.

There’ll be slow days, a BBQ or two, a celebration meal out for the adults, and moments to make memories with my toddler grandson.

And there’ll be a bit of a gap on the blog because I anticipate being too weary for words for a while, unless God gifts some to me.

But I don’t know if that will happen in a few days or a week or so.

Much depends on my body’s ability to recover and recoup after expending more energy than usual.

Living with M.E is a see-saw ride where we creep backwards and inch forward.. (as I write about here).

It’s a balance of alternating periods and days of activity with adequate pacing and rest to avoid burnout or relapse.

So this week’s offering is small as we prepare for family to arrive.

Just a couple of little haiku poems for you to enjoy as I wind down my laptop and unwind my mind.

Until God suggests otherwise, I’ll be resting my pen and relaxing into closer relationship with Him for a while.

Aiming to enjoy some necessary down-time for soul refreshment and spiritual whitespace.

Meanwhile, you are very welcome to dip into the archives here or over at my Words of Joy site.

May you enjoy rest and relaxation into relationship too in the days ahead. Looking forward to catching up with you soon!

Blessings and love, Joy 🙂 ❤

blotting paper haiku PJ

tucked into haiku PJ pin

When you feel small

/ Joy Lenton / 12 Comments

when you feel small PJ

There are days where we feel so insignificant, invisible even.

It seems as if we blend into the air around, lost in the ether.

Our voices feel weak as tiny bird. Our words fall flat on ears deaf to their sound.

Our place in the here and now looks insubstantial, shaky and small.

It feels like we’re hardly here at all.

Do you have days like that? I do. 

They are red flags to what’s going on inside of us. Warning signs to heed.

They are white flags of surrender. Cries for help beyond ourselves.

Because God becomes our only safe shelter in a world where we feel less than all He made us to be.

He knows the vagaries of the human heart. He listens to every beat it makes. Hears the inner laments and anguish of a soul in torment.

And His Father-heart cries over the cruelty of a world that scorns His Son and tears His children apart.

Because He knows how wearied we can become and how we are made for far more than this world offers.

I’m thankful for those who see, who hear, who listen, who respond and make me feel I have a voice, a tiny place of worth in the scheme of things.

But I’m grateful most of all for the unending, unconditional love of God who helps me to become all that I can be by His grace.

There are no losers, no left out people, no invisible or discarded ones in God’s Kingdom. We are people of great worth and value in His eyes.

We are the grace dwellers, the truth tellers, the anointed, redeemed, blood-bought children He loves beyond measure.

Yes, here.. and now, living in this upside-down kingdom, topsy-turvy world we’re in, we are very significant to Him.

Here

We live in a world addicted to gain

to ascending the summit of success

to amassing, collecting largesse

And yet you call me to dwell here

abide in quiet shadows of surrender

where I sense the humiliation

of my life so small against

the largeness of your love

Here I am nothing, yet remain

everything to you; my emptiness

the reason for your pouring,

filling, overflowing measure

of grace into every dark

and empty space inside my heart

Because your love leads me into

encounter, renewal, fresh start

©JoyLenton2015

When you feel small in the eyes of the world, remember Whose you are, my friend. Such thoughts stirred the  5 minute poem above.

I’m blessed to be joining in with the wonderful writing community that comprises Five Minute Friday. Today’s prompt is:‘Here’. Kate Motaung is our gracious hostess.

You’re very welcome to come and join us at her place as we celebrate the first anniversary of her time hosting this link up.

Also adding to the soul refreshment being served over at Bonnie Gray’s place for Beloved Brews. Do come over and take a fuel stop there.. 🙂

encounter PJ pin

 

When we need to accept help

/ Joy Lenton / 6 Comments

helping hand PJ FMF

How hard it can be for us to realise we are helpless in some areas.

Human effort will only get us so far, as will natural talent and abilities.

Yet we so often strive to succeed by ourselves, not seeing our need of help or wanting any assistance.

Independence is a good thing on the whole, but a degree of dependence is also a sign that we’re aware of our own limitations.

We can see how the gifting in others enriches us and there is grace in accepting assistance and support.

We begin to accept that we need other people. Together we achieve so much more. United we are stronger.

Because eventually we’ll reach an impasse. A point of no return where we cannot do a thing except trust in another.

See our need and willingly (or grudgingly?) receive.

We’re wired to exist within community and live mindful of each other’s needs.

And some things in life are completely beyond us. Maybe you can think of a few?

In my life with M.E and chronic illness I’ve learnt to be gratefully dependent on those who assist me with daily living tasks.

In my writing life I’m completely dependent on Holy Spirit inspiration, grace, gifting and energy.

In my spiritual life I responded to what God had already done in Christ, seeing my impotence to save or change myself.

The poem below is my five-minute-friday contribution as I join others who write brave and free in a supportive community. You’re very welcome to join us over at Kate Motaung’s place. Today’s prompt is ‘Try’.

Also linking with Barbie at The Weekend Brew.. do drop in for some soul refreshment.

START…

You don’t have to

You don’t have to try to curry

favour with a risen Saviour

You already are His glory treasure

and He loves you beyond measure

It’s not your effort that will gain

you a seat in heavenly places

Jesus bore the cross and shame

so that forgiveness would embrace us

You don’t have to worry

as you go about your days

There’s no peace in stress and hurry

only in following His ways

You don’t need to do a thing

beyond believe in Him

and see how His sacrifice

offers us a renewed life

Rest easy, my friend

Seek the wonder of salvation

and eternity without end

for every person, tribe and nation

Relax and sense the flow

of His holy joy within

as you surrender and let go

trusting your life to Him

©JoyLenton2015

STOP.

flow PJ FMF pin

What to do when you scramble for words

/ Joy Lenton / Leave a comment

bleak tree PJ file

Whether speaking or writing, we can soon come across an inability to find the precise words we want to share.

The stream dries up; all seems lifeless. We find ourselves parched, staring at barren ground and bare bones, our thoughts like twisted twigs.

The Muse seems elusive and unkind some days, or so we say – although she is really a mere figment in our minds.

A reason to hang our excuses upon as we scramble around for words vanishing in the ether.

Inspiration deserts us and we hover over paper or PC with fingers itching to release… only to come up empty.

What do we do when words drift away?

I’ve found that resting, relaxing and praying help enormously.

All inspiration is God-given and a gift of grace.

Because some days? Some days we’re too plumb tired to plumb the depths to extract the exact words we want.

So we pretend not to care for a while, switch off, engage ourselves with new pursuits, or give in to the need to pull back, seek some spiritual whitespace.

And in the quiet contemplation, in the resting in God’s presence, in the slowing down and stressing less we find we can tap into the Source of Life Himself and He begins to fill and flood our minds with lively thoughts once more.

Maybe a seeping through, a slow filter, a line or two, but then it begins to flow again.

We can breathe easy. Speak, write and type as God directs, comfortable in His provision and timing.

Because words will rise easy when God decides they need to and they’re ready to share.

Our part is to stay expectant, listen to our lives and all they are saying to us, listen for God’s voice and remain open to inspiration.

Then my friends, we give thanks, we speak, we write, we pour out our offering and we trust God to use it as He wills.

And we remember that God has an inexhaustible supply of words He desires to impart to waiting hearts.

Last night I was considering why I hadn’t written much poetry recently. There are lots of good and obvious reasons why my mind has needed a rest, not least that I’m currently staying with family.

Then a line or two insinuated itself into my mind, and this is how it ended up…

Cajoling Poetry

Poetry can act capriciously

especially if we try

to pack her into a

little rhyme or two,

or wrestle words onto

a page, she’s apt to fly

into a sullen rage

Although she has been known

to demur when called upon

to assist us in a song

And will indeed, sometimes,

be cajoled into a line

which, for better or worse,

becomes joined into a verse

And even though poetry

will not easily or

willingly bend the knee to me

or resists staying around

when I try to pin her down,

I find if I keep an open door

and open mind, she will return

with an offering – or more

©JoyLenton2015

cajoling poetry pin PJ

Living the ordinary-extraordinary

/ Joy Lenton / 10 Comments

awakening to wonder PJ

My eyes are still awakening to wonder. A mind and heart engaged on an endless quest.

I ponder purpose and intent, meander around the messy middle of my days and so often still fail to see them for the sacred glory they really are.

Pain can pervade and pull our days out of shape; problems press in on every side and challenges abound.

But this ordinary life so many of us live has extraordinary revelation if we let it speak to us.

Pay attention to its message. Sense the essence of our days. Listen to what they’re saying.

I’m slowly unfurling my winter-weary soul toward the brightness of summer light as I embrace the new and the not yet of my existence, the tentative unfolding of plans which have been long-awaited.

And nothing brings me closer to awareness of God’s presence than to see Him active in the everyday.

Wearing worldly lenses can dull our senses, but spiritual one? They alert us to presence and purpose behind the pain, the ache of holy behind the familiar, the grace seen in hard places.

So this theme is ringing in my heart and I lean toward its refrain like one who never tires of its melody.

Because it’s a song God sings over His children unceasingly.

“The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing” ~ Zephaniah 3:17

Ordinary-extraordinary

God can be found in the everyday

ordinary-extraordinary of life

with all its wonder and ways

We count the moments because

moments count, and we count

blessings because we give freely

and they return easy – spilling

forth as gifts in the lap of time

Our eyes peel slow, waking

to wonder as we sip and savour

this coffee held in hand

this paper rustling conversation

this relating and waiting and enjoying

lost in the ether if we let it

become mangled by stress

tangled up in busyness

So we pause, catch our breath

release our reservations

snatch back each holy second

and see it for the sweet soul

sacred beauty and glory

mirrored reflection of

God’s story that it is

and we give praise

©JoyLenton2015 

“By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me – a prayer to the God of my life” ~ Psalm 42:8

ordinary-extraordinary PJ pin

Being set free

/ Joy Lenton / 8 Comments

being set free PJ pin

Life has a way of wrapping tentacles around our hearts. Finding a weak spot and pressing painful.

Tormenting our thoughts, suffocating our spirits. It sucks life, drains energy, depletes and discourages if we let it.

It doesn’t take much for me to feel tipped sideways sometimes and wonder how in the world it happened.

Those are times when feelings overwhelm, fear sneaks in, comparison captivates our souls and we become weighed down by earthly concerns.

Feel the pressures mounting and feel ourselves drowning.

And we will sink unless we remember we have a Lord who walks on water, lives lightly and freely, calmly and peacefully, and wants us to do the same.

Impossible? It sounds like it if we see things only from a human perspective.

But when we reach the end of our fraying rope we find God is already waiting to lift us up, to heal and set us free.

Because rescuing lost and lonely souls, restoring and healing broken, bleeding, damaged and drained people is what He does best.

Because grace is new every morning and so are His forgiveness and mercy. A fresh start is available today to you and me.

When surrendered to God, our hearts, minds and lives are continually being set free from all that enslaves and entraps us, even if we fail to fully see or appreciate it.

Such thoughts were already in my mind today as I reeled from a restless night where fear and anxiety had sought to get the better of me.

And so I couldn’t help but smile when I saw today’s Five Minute Friday prompt was:‘Free’. 

How could I resist?…

START…

Set free

Some days I don’t feel free at all

ensnared as I am, entrapped

by my thoughts and caught

in the permanent tug of worldly

concerns with their tempting thrall

Some days I forget I’ve been

released by grace, set free by

mercy to become more fully me

given a new heart, redeemed

life and new identity in Christ

Today I feel like wounded bird

held tender in Your hands

cradled soft and comforted

as I shiver and shake my wings

afraid to leave Your fingers

Now I sense them unfurling

yet still curling warm into

my feeble frame, and I hear

Your voice whisper my name

as You remain ever near

I don’t feel ready for letting go

There’s so much pain I still

don’t understand how to embrace

But You breathe out Your love

say “I am enough” as You release

me into Your current of grace

©JoyLenton2015

STOP.

I’m connecting today with the wonderful wordsmith community over at Kate Motaung’s place where we write bold and free on a weekly theme. Come join us?

bird being set free PJ