surrender

This is my calling

/ Joy Lenton / 6 Comments

calling -way forward PJ

Finding our calling in life can feel like looking for the proverbial needle in a haystack.

How do we separate out the wheat from the chaff?

We look for a way forward and find ourselves going in circles.

How can we decide what to focus on to the exclusion of other things, or which path to pursue if we neglect another?

Because in seeking the best we may have to lay aside what seems better, or worthy of our attention.

Perhaps it’s not necessarily a vocation, a task which only we can do, a unique way of life.

Maybe our calling is more of a recognition of what really matters to us, what fuels our passions and drives our desires.

That used to be nursing for me, becoming a wife and raising a family. Then it became more about seeing what God laid on my heart, supporting others who are sick and struggling with chronic illness, being a writer and encourager.

As I pondered on the word ‘calling’ I was drawn more to reveal its hidden depths than to dwell on a single thing of significance.

And as a Christian, I consider above all things that my calling is to live a surrendered, authentic life in the light of God’s Word, by the power of His Spirit and in obedience to Him.

It will be a pathway that others follow, but it will look different on each one of us as we live out our unique, God-given place and purpose in this world.

This is my calling

This life which I own as mine

Days unfolding over time

This is my calling

The way I make my faith-walk

How I behave and how I talk

This is my calling

Being seen and being heard

as I share God’s saving Word

This is my calling

Listening and being aware

what, when, where I need to share

This is my calling

Encouraging others and being kind

Turning the cheek, trying not to mind

This is my calling

Seeing and sensing God’s hand in this world

Helping His purpose become unfurled

This is my calling

©JoyLenton2015

calling - PJ pin

This post is the first part of #31days of five-minute-free-writes as prompted by the #FMF writing community. You can see the writing prompts for the rest of October and find out more here.

Five-Minute-Free-Writes-button

I’ll be taking part on an ad hoc basis as and when I have energy and inspiration enough to do  so. You’re warmly invited to join us.

On saying yes

/ Joy Lenton / 16 Comments

SAMSUNG

There are days where tears bleed as rain and my soul feels swallowed whole by weakness and pain.

I waft into insubstantial shadow, blurred outline, smudged nothingness.

Missing the usual places of validation where my insecure soul gets fed.

Finding that Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) has come sooner to my world as autumnal weather drifts early into our shores, rendering me a mess of emotions.

Needing to stay still, lay down body, hopes and desires. Surrender and sink into unconditional Love’s embrace.

And as I’ve been alternately surrendering and resisting deep soul rest, I sense God asking me to say yes to so many things.

It’s not easy at all, more like a dying on the inside, a howl of outrage and fear of missing out, anxiety over losing acceptance.

Because who am I if I don’t have a face, a voice, connection and a presence on social media?

Who am I? A woman who feels likes she’s drowning in her own seeming insignificance, apparently.

Nevertheless, I am slowly surrendering my need of people approval and leaning into His alone.

And finally beginning to stop begrudging this season of ceasing, of pulling back, of being an edge dweller.

Because deep inside? This hurting child knows that her Father’s wishes are ones to heed, and she whispers her reply.

Yes to being on the margins of life when I’m too weary to participate.

Yes to having deep dependence on Him day by day.

Yes to finding worth and value, significance and strength in Him alone.

Yes to His timing and His plans, and yes to seeking after His heart rather than any other.

Saying yes

I don’t want to say yes

to being insignificant,

small; I don’t want to let

go of desiring to have it all

In saying yes to less

I’m inviting obscurity

to define me more than

any worldly success

Then I remember how you

laid down your heavenly

crown, came manger-wrapped

as a tiny one who never stopped

being God’s only begotten Son

You chose to stay humble

walk a challenging road

bearing our burdens and

sin’s heavy load, while your path

led you to suffering on a cross

with a willing yes as you bore

humanity’s pain and dross

Now with arms open to

all mankind, you welcome

us into a significant life

marked by surrender and

being small, saying yes

to life’s best yes of all

©JoyLenton2015

saying yes PJ pin

Friend, if life or your own thoughts are giving you a hard time too, may I suggest you dive deeper into God’s love for you? Resting in His love is the only place where we can feel safe, protected and truly accepted.

I wasn’t going to write today. Because words haven’t been flowing freely lately and I’ve been way too tired to think straight. Maybe you’re there too? Perhaps you can remember, along with me, that it’s not a permanent place, just a pausing point and breathing space.

But God had other ideas as He planted a few lines of this poem into my mind while I was dreamily drifting. And He gave me the ability and grace to write the rest out of my imperfection and weakness, and also say a heartfelt yes to participating with the lovely five-minute-friday community as they explore the power of ‘Yes’ today. Come join us?

When we need to accept help

/ Joy Lenton / 6 Comments

helping hand PJ FMF

How hard it can be for us to realise we are helpless in some areas.

Human effort will only get us so far, as will natural talent and abilities.

Yet we so often strive to succeed by ourselves, not seeing our need of help or wanting any assistance.

Independence is a good thing on the whole, but a degree of dependence is also a sign that we’re aware of our own limitations.

We can see how the gifting in others enriches us and there is grace in accepting assistance and support.

We begin to accept that we need other people. Together we achieve so much more. United we are stronger.

Because eventually we’ll reach an impasse. A point of no return where we cannot do a thing except trust in another.

See our need and willingly (or grudgingly?) receive.

We’re wired to exist within community and live mindful of each other’s needs.

And some things in life are completely beyond us. Maybe you can think of a few?

In my life with M.E and chronic illness I’ve learnt to be gratefully dependent on those who assist me with daily living tasks.

In my writing life I’m completely dependent on Holy Spirit inspiration, grace, gifting and energy.

In my spiritual life I responded to what God had already done in Christ, seeing my impotence to save or change myself.

The poem below is my five-minute-friday contribution as I join others who write brave and free in a supportive community. You’re very welcome to join us over at Kate Motaung’s place. Today’s prompt is ‘Try’.

Also linking with Barbie at The Weekend Brew.. do drop in for some soul refreshment.

START…

You don’t have to

You don’t have to try to curry

favour with a risen Saviour

You already are His glory treasure

and He loves you beyond measure

It’s not your effort that will gain

you a seat in heavenly places

Jesus bore the cross and shame

so that forgiveness would embrace us

You don’t have to worry

as you go about your days

There’s no peace in stress and hurry

only in following His ways

You don’t need to do a thing

beyond believe in Him

and see how His sacrifice

offers us a renewed life

Rest easy, my friend

Seek the wonder of salvation

and eternity without end

for every person, tribe and nation

Relax and sense the flow

of His holy joy within

as you surrender and let go

trusting your life to Him

©JoyLenton2015

STOP.

flow PJ FMF pin

Listening and learning

/ Joy Lenton / 4 Comments

listening PJ file image

Words linger on in receptive minds and hearts. They outlive the moment of their birth.

Whether written, spoken or sung, soul utterances speak soul-deep and can have eternal meaning and resonance.

Though some have a bitter taste (perhaps when correction is required?), others express sweetness learnt in the dark places, the deep spaces where God speaks to those eager to hear from Him.

Last year, with ‘Listen’ as my #oneword365, was a time of more intentional listening for me as God drew me into closer communion with Him.

A period to perfect the art of listening… in theory, at least. A time to lean toward greater intimacy with the Lover of my soul.

Although, it is something I was already doing long before last year, and something I will continue to do for the rest of my life, always relying heavy on grace to show me the way.

How can we ever become so accustomed to God’s voice that we lose the wonder of being able to hear it?

How can I stop trying to catch those prayer whispers on the wind?

It’s a habit I would hate to grow out of. A way of life necessary as breathing.

So here I am, expressing oh so imperfectly in poetry, just a tiny taster of how precious it was, and still is, to attempt to hear from God.

‘Listening’

You whispered in the silence

of my waiting, watchful heart

It was hard at first to listen

but I was keen to make a start

My heart stilled expectantly

My soul sought to give You ear

My pen ready to savour

words of wisdom from You here

Sometimes I wrote hastily

so I didn’t miss a thing

Or waited for words to arrive

for the offering You would bring

I soon learnt I shouldn’t come

with an impatient, restless soul

Thought time spent in Your Presence

would restore and make me whole

Then as I went about my day

tuning my heart to hear

I found You spoke willingly

and I could sense You near

You have been training me

to pay attention, to heed

the soft whispers of Your voice

The soothing balm I truly need

As I go through the year ahead

I pray I’ll remember, hold dear

the things You have said

to guide, reveal, repair

And pass on Your wisdom

to other hungry hearts

who long for the messages

which Your voice imparts

©JoyLenton2015

heart PJ file pin image

You may wonder what ‘word’ God has given me for 2015. However, it felt right to linger longer with listening for a while before letting it go as my main word to mull over.

And I’d like to encourage you to persevere in your own times of listening to God, to take opportunities you may have for a few minutes pausing in prayer, and ask Him to speak to you in the silence of your heart.

It can feel rather frustratingly like trying to find the right radio frequency at first, but that makes it all the more precious when you can ‘tune in’ and hear His voice, and it will get easier over time.

I hope to write a poem soon about my new #oneword365 it but you can read the big reveal over at ‘Words of Joy’ if you’re eager to know it now!

**Note** ~ I’m a bit late catching up with things after being  particularly unwell since Christmas, but I hope to pen poetry here as often as God gives me words to write and energy to share them. The poem above was actually written a few weeks ago, waiting for a moment such as this to air.  A rather belated ‘Happy New Year’ to you all! Thank you for your support throughout 2014. I really appreciate it. 🙂

Out of mist

/ Joy Lenton / 4 Comments

december mist

Waking up to morning mist, I sense the otherworldliness of its obscurity.

Sight is dimmed. Senses dulled as dishwater.

Lost in fog. Muffled morphed outlines rising as shadows.

No compass points defining end from beginning.

December chill making body feel stilled as statue.

And here am I… frozen in poetic thought as the kettle boils hot…

As mist

Watching steam clouds billow reminds me
how our lives are but mist in lens of eternity
our deepest desires and dreams, hopes and schemes
in danger of being fizz, evanescence become
melting puddles of deliquescence
seeping into nothingness.


And all pleasures rise high as steam
then fall away as vapour dissipating
into darkness too dense for us to hold.
For all is fleeting, all is change, all is meeting place
where we surrender our goals and plans,
then taking up God’s gift of grace
we can sink restful, with trusting sigh,
leaving all to be rearranged by His loving hands.


He gathers every scattered act and thought
to make-over, remould good and true,
weaving them into a tapestry of His own design
where nought is wasted
only caught, drawn fine and new into
a lasting beauty to behold.
©JoyLenton

Misted wintry days remind me of how fleeting and changeable our dreams and schemes can be.

Though all desires surrendered to God become enlarged at His hands and so much more than we ever envisaged.

Happiness can vanish in an instant, ephemeral, lost in the ether.

Lasting, solid joy is found in relationship with God and following His ways for our lives.

He transforms everything by His grace. Makes us come alive on the inside.

Making beauty from brokenness, from the scattered ashes of our lives.

as mist poem pin image

Feeling, yielding and kneeling

/ Joy Lenton / 4 Comments

black and white trees

‘Sometimes’

Sometimes I feel

stripped winter-bare and stark

skeletal ‘gainst the landscape

as winds whiplash

and cold and dark

scrape harsh to scratch

the bark of my extremities

when I am faced

with continual barrage

of life’s calamities

Sometimes I yield

as sapling, bend and sway

until twigs snap and quiver

and I shrink back

with hasty shiver as I try

to straighten on my own

against the fray

and flurry of the elements

at whose mercy I am thrown

in such disarray

Sometimes I kneel

with buckled frame

and creaking joints

at the sound of One

who calls my name

and bids me come to Him

above the chaos and the noise

seek strength from warming Sun

lift my eyes from dark and dim

with increasing calm and poise

sense heavenly rays ~ and I rejoice

©JoyLenton2014

This poem speaks about life’s dark times and challenges and how we can find peace and rest by coming back to the Father’s heart, lean hard on His grace, surrender, rest thankful and give Him praise.

Those “heavenly rays” can penetrate the darkest of days as grace glimmers shine best in the dark places and spaces of our lives.

One of the best ways we have of overcoming our low moods and sad thoughts is to make a conscious effort to be thankful and deliberately look for God’s hand on our lives. Keeping a daily gratitude journal is a great way to achieve this goal.

I spoke more about thanksgiving here and invited you to leave a comment about things you were grateful for. It also included participating in a random draw to win a free book.

**I’m delighted to announce that the winner of  the draw is Mandy. Well done you! A free copy of Ann Voskamp’s ‘One Thousand Gifts’ will be winging its way to you as soon as possible. May it bless your heart as it has mine**

black and white trees ~ Sometimes poem PJ pin

Because of Him

/ Joy Lenton / 13 Comments

child writing file image PJ because of him post

Writing is a strange occupation. Not one for the faint-hearted.

There are days where words flow freely and we write out our hearts.

On others, it feels like the tap has run dry and ceased its outpouring.

We squeeze and coax them to appear like getting blood out of a stone.

Some days they demand a great deal of energy to pin down on the page.

I’ve been trying to save energy because it will only stretch so far when you have M.E, and  life has recently become much busier for me in many ways.

If I extend myself too much it leads to a ‘crash and burn’ reaction which can cause further relapse in symptoms.

So I took a mini social media and blogging break to recoup some strength.

Pain has been pervasive and leached more life out of this weary frame. And sleep/rest/pacing have become the order of the day.

But I felt a creative itch and urge simmering beneath the surface. It’s never far away though it hibernates sometimes.

Little snatches of verse have been born (and some made public) as I joined in with poetic prompts on Twitter both prior to and since ending my needful break.

Listening and leaning are the new watchwords of my life this year and they are bearing fruit as I abide closer to God.

There is far less urgent clamour about my writing and a lot more trust that words will appear when they should.

I’m discovering it’s a restful place to be in as I surrender the whole process to God. He gives me all the inspiration and words I need.

I long to break free from rigid conformity, from formality, from ought and should, from comparison and feeling ‘less than’.

Joining in with Five Minute Friday has given me permission to ditch perfectionism and embrace the gift of the inspired moment as I offer my words to public scrutiny.

Here I am again, with renewed gratitude that stems from seeing how God uses weak, weary and wounded ones like you and me to speak out for Him.

I can write again. Words have come when I least expected them to….because of Him.

START…

‘Because’

Lord,

I don’t want to write

just because

it is what

I usually do

or because

I want to have a say

These words should come

because You

have thoughts You desire

me to convey

And You know just who

needs to be

encouraged by You

in prayerful offering

which becomes

sacrificial giving

surrendered in this way

So I come willingly

because that’s

how things ought to be

and happen naturally

Here is my pen, my mind,

my heart, my soul

Please take and use them

to bless, heal and help

make others whole

Write Your Word

upon my heart

Inscribe Your ideas

as I start

to write, and allow

them all to flow

because I

have surrendered them

into Your hands

and for Your plans

©JoyLenton2014

STOP.

pen and journal file pin image PJ

Joining here with Kate and fellow #FMF writers as we write bold and brave today. You are very welcome and warmly invited to join in and to discover how you can write this way every day for a whole month if you want to.

Seeking release

/ Joy Lenton / 20 Comments

seeking release ~ FMF PJ file image

All it takes is a one word prompt and we write brave and free.

Such is the liberty of joining in for #fiveminutefriday

Or do we? Sometimes words stall in our heads and get left unexpressed. We feel blocked or broken inside.

Deep pondering and marinating are not how we operate in this creative writing endeavour.

Giving in to the moment, going with the flow and eschewing perfection is what it’s all about.

But some words stir deep, unsettle and unleash a flood rather than a drizzle.

Such was the result for me of beginning to write about this week’s prompt:’Release’.

I thought a bit, prayed, set the timer and wrote.. and wrote.. and wrote long past the limit. A poetic rambling and prayerful cry too personal to share.

Because this word hits too close to home to give an easy answer to. I’m living change, transition and release. Begging for it while I draw back scared.

Part of me craving an alteration and part of me resenting the effort it will require before lasting change can take place.

Staying the same isn’t an option once God puts His finger on an area requiring change. He will never give up wanting the very best for us.

So we yield easy, or fight our way up like drowning swimmers gasping for air. I’m fighting, and slowly learning how to surrender restfully.

This morning I didn’t set the clock or expect to participate in any writing exercise.

I woke earlier than usual and sensed a holy call to climb out of the covers. I obeyed reluctantly at first, having had a restless, wakeful night and with a body crying out desperate for sleep.

But I’m glad I obeyed. I met with God as He whispered words I needed to hear and felt prompted to share in the hope of blessing you too.

prayer whisper image

Prayer Whisper:’Release’

“Re-lease your life into My care. You are not your own; you were bought with the price of My redeeming Love and sacrificial blood. I paid the price to set you free so that you could learn to become fully yourself as I intended you to.

Release ~ the weight of guilt, burden of sin and shame, turmoil of anger, resentment and unforgiveness. It poisons your body and mind to hold on to such things.

Release ~ your hopes, dreams and desires so that they can be sifted and purified, right motive and purpose given, and all submitted to My will and authority.

Release ~ the past, present and future. I see the end from the beginning. I am Alpha and Omega. Trust Me to take care of it all and pave the way for you to walk steadily with Me, moment by moment.

Release ~ all that chains and tethers you to earth. My desire is to make beauty from the ashes, bring hope out of despair and joy from adversity. Let loose all that prevents you from living freely in body and in mind.

Hand over all that you are, have been and will be. You are no surprise to Me. I know you inside out, and will provide the best way for you to grow strong, be fruitful and live compassionately to impact the lives of others for good.

As you release you will find true freedom because I take it all and give back to you only those things that fit who you are and prepare you for My purpose, all that brings joy, peace, rest and ease because you trust in Me.

Letting go takes courage and faith, but it will bring you so much more than those things you cling on to with tight clenched fists. They become stumbling blocks and strongholds preventing forward momentum.

Open your hands, release and ready yourself to receive, My child. I am waiting to give back to you.”

Linking here with Lisa-Jo, Laura and Mel. You are very welcome to join in.

butterfly ~ seeking release PJ FMF file image pin

Streams in the wasteland

/ Joy Lenton / 8 Comments

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

She steps lightly, blithely through deep waves of bluebells, inhaling piercing sweet fragrance, a clean sharp freshness clearing away all cobwebbed thoughts.

Invitation to breathe life and hope, new beginnings.

Opening herself to joy. Sensing the nearness of His Presence, hearing Him call her name.

He takes her hand and guides through a sea of snowdrops, dancing daffodils swaying in the breeze, birdsong heralding the pathway toward a rippling stream.

And there He invites her to come close, cupped hands at the ready to scoop out drops of water and drink freely.

She gulps until thirst is satiated. Her body coming alive with strength, energy, vibrancy.

Eyes opened to see beauty all around, her senses awash with awareness, awakening.

Feet moving of their own accord, skipping like a carefree child whose heart only has room for love, joy and laughter.

His voice calls soft, deep and warm as whispers on the wind. Notes vibrate, resonate and pulsate to her spirit.

For the first time in years she feels truly alive. There is no pain, no sadness or sorrow here ~  just sheer exuberance with her Lord.

Reality bites as the vision ends. She inhabits a body gripped by pain and wearied by weakness. Follows her Lord down endless drifting, dusty pathways with little signs of colour and light. Lacking refreshment. Desirous of change.

But on the inside? Here she sings. Here she celebrates. Here she is free. Walking the royal highway with the King of kings.

“You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand” ~ Psalm 16:11

prayer whisper image

Prayer Whisper:’Streams in the wasteland’

“I am God of the now. Behold, I am doing a new thing. Can you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is yet to come. As you live more in day-tight compartments, so you will find Me being active and become aware of My Presence.

Begin each day anew. Let your heart fill with expectancy. Watch and see what I will do. Surrender your hopes, dreams and plans into My hands and trust Me for the outcome.

Continue to walk closely with Me and believe that I am preparing the path before you. Whether it is strewn with heavy boulders, littered with pebbles or smooth and easy, My hand is in it all. Many of My children spend years kicking dust and sand in the wilderness. I meet powerfully with them there. Those years are never wasted, nor as bleak and barren as they seem.

Much fruit develops in arid places when you walk closely with Me. These are growing times, spaces and places in your life. Periods to lie fallow while I prepare you for the next step.

May work cannot be rushed. Trust Me to know what I am doing and what I will accomplish in you. A life surrendered to Me is a beautiful thing to bring praise and glory to My Name. And when you emerge out the other side of your valley I will bring you into a green and spacious place, an area of influence and renewed purpose.

Continue to trust and obey as you have extra zest in your step. Do not forget the Lord your God who led you by the hand and kept you safe. Remaining by My side is vital to receive impartation and anointing for today and maintain a heart at rest and peace in Me.”

Grace crumbs:a vision of hope and encouragement, words flowing again, focus and energy to write them here, answered prayer, sensing God’s presence ~  #1000gifts

Linking here with Nacole for #concretewords This week’s prompt is ‘path’ 

And with Jennifer and Holley

prayer whisper ~ streams in the wasteland

Surrender to Sabbath

/ Joy Lenton / 9 Comments

Joy ~ at Ditchingham

‘Sabbath’

How do you further rest

a body constrained, confined?

How can I still continual thoughts

racing through a brain-fogged mind?

My life lived slow as slow can be

due to chronic illness and M.E

It’s work sometimes to rise from bed

converse, listen to words being said

Yet I know space must be found

a clearing, sacred holy ground

Time as sacrificial offering

willingly yielded up to Him

A stilling of body, mind and soul

where brokenness can be made whole

Bringing the shards of a fractured life

laying down anxiety, worry and strife

So here I am, Lord, on this day

to freely give myself away

knowing You see my open heart

and lovingly care for every part

Desiring to enter a Sabbath rest

and live my life as You see best

I’m eager to listen and to hear

Lord, won’t You please draw near?

©JoyLenton2014

Grateful for words flowing today after a break where health has been more challenging than usual.

Linking with Jennifer Dukes Lee at The High Calling to share Sabbath stories. You are warmly invited to join in.

sabbath pixlar image pin