Month: October 2013

One of those days

/ Joy Lenton / 2 Comments

I’m having one of those days.

It started badly with dropping four things before coffee – nothing broken, thankfully.

Just my bruised ego. Dented pride.

As an M.E and chronic illness sufferer, I still like to think I can handle a few simple tasks, until life shows me otherwise.

Clumsiness sits close to us when we’re tired and overdoing things, doesn’t it?

It’s pretty familiar to all M.E sufferers especially, where energy feels non-existent and brain fogged up by fatigue.

At times like this, stubbornness tends to take over and I often make it worse by trying to plough on regardless with my day.

I love to write and paint pictures through poetry and prose to bring a light of recognition to another.

Nothing brings me more joy than pouring out words.

Though I sense God may have other ideas for me sometimes. Rest, sleep, prayer, pause, may be higher on His agenda.

He knows just what each of us needs at any given moment.

We don’t see Jesus living a life of rush or hurry as we read of His life on earth.

He knew when to be about His Father’s business, when to rest, when to relax, when to speak or remain silent and when to seek God’s face.

Everything was carried out in the unforced rhythms of grace with Holy Spirit anointed ease.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could learn to do likewise?

As I sat pondering these things in my heart, God blessed me with the poetic prayer below.

I hope and pray it will bless you too.

Dear Lord,

It’s one of those days again

where there isn’t a sap of energy

or inspiration to be found

as we tap keyboard, fingers slow

knowing it’s probably better

to just take a nap

for rest is balm to weary minds

and in many ways

we can find it’s all that

 does the trick

restoring light and glow

to a flagging candle wick

And as we rest our soul

and spirit in Your word

we know that You are

making us healed and whole

whispering reassurance low

and soft, yet easy to be heard

welcomed and received

as daily manna, nourishment

we all desperately need

©JoyLenton2013

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly”  ~  Matthew 11:28-30

Stepping out

/ Joy Lenton / 16 Comments

Walking by faith can feel like fumbling about in a long, dark tunnel where our eyes strain to see any tiny pinprick of light to show the way.

Or traversing a narrow, uneven, stony pathway with deep ditches on either side which we fear falling into.

Any new route we undertake is made more hospitable and achievable in the company of one who knows the way.

And our journey of life and faith is no different.

Faith Steps

Each faltering step of faith I take

draws me closer to Your heart

revealing plans designed for me

though I may only glimpse a part

Foretaste of the future

and all that it may hold

if I only follow willingly

with footsteps firm and bold

Not trusting in myself at all

 but resting in Your grace

supplying provision for my needs

while I run this earthly race

And so I choose to raise my head

and see the way I’m going

not with anxiety, fear or dread

but trust in Your all-knowing

©JoyLenton2013

The way ahead is lit by the light of God’s word.

Much as a pilot can steer a boat safely and confidently into harbour when all the lights are lit, we have means to guide us through the path ahead of us.

One of our ‘lights’ is God’s word. We can be further helped by these things:deep inner conviction from the Holy Spirit, wise and godly counsel from mature believers and confirmation through auspicious circumstances coming together at the same time.

This is no hard and fast rule, more a guide when things seem particularly grey and murky and the way ahead unclear.

Much rests on what God is saying to us personally, how we sense He is leading and guiding.

Stepping out in faith means we don’t necessarily have the full picture before we take a first step.

Such is the adventure of walking with God.

How do you perceive guidance?

Are there signposts you look for to confirm a call from God?

Please feel free to leave a comment below. I love to read them and will do my best to reply to them all

**NOTE** I am excited and delighted to announce that this poem is also profiled on my friend and fellow writer/poet, Joy deKok’s site. Do hop over and check out the other great posts there!

Day 10 of the 31 Day writing challenge #poetryforthesoul.

Thank you for so much for reading and encouraging me and giving me grace when I miss a day.

Safety valves

/ Joy Lenton / 4 Comments

Do you ever get to the point where you feel like exploding?

There are issues which can really make us mad.

Maybe something or someone has touched a nerve.

We feel raw. Wounded. Hurt.

Out of the blue (or so it seems) rage, anger, annoyance or other emotional pain come to the surface.

Feelings rise as steam and we long to vent somehow.

If our nearest and dearest are in range then they may be the unwarranted recipients of our spleen.

Perhaps we need a safe way and place in which to vent our feelings?

A safety valve to allow us to let go without losing full control.

An escape. Outlet.

It may vary greatly depending on the nature, duration and extent of our pain.

And the type of people we are, the resources we have and openings for letting go.

I have found many ways over the years to vent. Not all of them comfortable for others, sad to say.

Over the years, I have tended to rush more eagerly to the phone than the throne of grace.

Counselling gave me the tools to work through pain and see why it was so deep-rooted.

Now, I try to remember that God is always listening, caring, available  and – most important of all – loves us unconditionally.

Loved ones, friends and family can help us up to a point, but only God can truly heal, restore and make us whole again.

The poem below describes how those deep emotions can affect us and how I have found some help and release from mine.

Safety valve

Sometimes our pain

gets buried

deep inside

locked up

inaccessible

in a safe place

where we hide

our true selves

from prying eyes

yet wounds will

fester when left

unattended over years

and seep their poison

through our systems

releasing more

anxiety and fears

We need an outlet

safety valve to

vent within constraints

a catching-place

for leaking holes

where what is

heard is veiled

yet has intent

I express myself

through poetic lament

to pour forth

words as water

releasing mercy drops

that may hit

the spot for other

thirsty souls

©JoyLenton2013

This poem is part of a guest blog post on my friend, Barry Pearman’s site where I’m honoured and delighted to be sharing my thoughts on how poetry helps my mental health. I’d love you to come on over and read the rest there.

No ordinary day

/ Joy Lenton / 20 Comments

When we think about our lives, it is hard sometimes to rise above the mundane activities that shape and define our days.

Yet, even as we go about routines, our hearts can be lifted to places beyond the immediate.

Our eyes can be opened to more than we see.

Our hearts can be touched by glimmers of God’s grace.

And seemingly ordinary moments become a meeting place between heaven and earth.

God whispers close.

We hear Him and know we are in a Holy encounter.

Even with feet rooted firm to earth.

There is more to our lives than the surface and superficial dictate.

With receptive minds and hearts we can be ready for extraordinary moments in an ordinary day.

Today, I am joining in with Lisa-Jo Baker for Five Minute Friday as we write freely, letting words spill as they will, with no worry about over-thinking, marinading or perfection.

The prompt is:‘Ordinary’

START….

‘No ordinary day’

This is no ordinary day

in some extraordinary way

death is dying…

And because of You we are made brand new

because of Your great Love we’re redeemed, restored,

forgiven, healed, children of God above

because of Your grace we have everything we need

to run with joy this earthly race

Ordinary doesn’t begin to describe who we are anymore

each one unique, special, precious, gifted and adored

ordinary people made extraordinary by Your sacrifice

and our response to how You lay down Your own life

Clouds hung heavy and curtain was torn in two

from top to bottom, signalling our lives

are made certain  of spending  eternity with You

We have…

hope for today

blessings always

peace beyond measure

Your favour to treasure

We are…

never alone or forsaken

with sin, shame and guilt all taken

by Your death and dying

so we can dry our tears, still our fears

as we rest in all You are supplying

©JoyLenton2013

STOP

no ordinary day poem image pin

Power of prayer

/ Joy Lenton / 10 Comments

Do you ever wonder if your prayers achieve anything? Me too.

Sometimes it feels as if our words get no further than our lips, laps or living-rooms.

We feel dry inside.

All life and vitality drained out of us.

Going through the motions.

As if praying is a duty rather than a privilege.

Yet, if we stop and think about it, we are partnering up with God in helping to bring about His purposes on the earth.

The Creator, Sustainer and Lord of the Universe actually invites us to come to Him and share in His own heart’s desires.

To hear what moves Him and be moved to participate in bringing it to pass.

To offload all our anxieties, cares and concerns.

To intercede for those in need.

To help, support, encourage and minister to others.

To co-labour in spreading the news of His tremendous love and grace.

What could be more awesome than that?

It doesn’t rest on our words, our feelings, our dryness or liveliness.

It doesn’t rest on how weary or alert we are.

It doesn’t rest on how much time we spend, what physical position we adopt or if we speak, shout, cry or remain silent.

It rests solely on God’s willingness to work with and through His people in a powerful, life-transforming way.

And that’s a huge relief!

The poem/prayer below was written in sympathy and support for all who may feel like inadequate prayer warriors.

As you read it, please remember that our feelings about how we pray are far less important than the fact that we do pray.

Sometimes, just saying, “Help” or “Jesus” is the most powerful prayer you can utter as it reveals total dependence on Him.

Our prayers rise as incense, a fragrant offering to God.

His Father-heart longs to hear us speak to Him about any and everything.

And His greatest desire is to speak to us too.

So remember, my friend, God cares about your life – each and every aspect of it is very important to Him.

“More things are wrought by prayer than this world dreams of” ~ Alfred Lord Tennyson

‘Simply being’

Lord,

I am ashamed at the paucity of my prayers

so often brief, wandering or barely there

where are the sighs, groans and moans

of a powerful prayer wrestler

or the quiet resting, grace-revealing confidence

of a seasoned intercessor?

Mine slip out unnoticed, arrows weakly fired

just hitting ceiling, dying expired, or spoken by rote

in a bleary state, I feel like they’re not going anywhere

or very appealing to You at any rate

and I must confess it bothers me when clock-watching replaces

the freedom of Simply Being in Your Presence, at ease

resting, trusting, listening, heeding, instead of these

snatched moments racing against time, weariness or schedule

that scarcely please me, never mind You at all

So I come, bearing a burden heavy

to let fall, lay at Your feet

disposing of my shame and guilt

at Your forgiving mercy-seat

and take up another burden to bear

as for my sister and brother

I long to pray and share

as I learn not to be so much

concerned for my own affairs

as I know I should be

and sense the beating of Your heart

for this world’s grief and sorrow

You’re longing to impart to me

so I can join in prayer to bring about

the blessing of Your Healing and Your Peace

for today and for tomorrow

©JoyLenton2013

Looking back and moving forward

/ Joy Lenton / 4 Comments

As someone in the Autumn of her life, there is quite a bit for me to look back and reflect on.

Time is a great healer, or so the saying goes.

Though regrets can be hard to live with.

Wisdom seems to be an advantage of growing older – some compensation perhaps for the gradual loss of other functions or faculties?

Or is it just seeing through the lens of history and experience that gives us a fresh perspective which seems wise?

Maybe it’s seeing with God’s eyes as He opens our vision to His perspective rather than our own.

Hindsight is a great teacher.

Here are a couple of mini Tuesday tidbits to share with you on this subject:

Wishing

I wish I knew then

what I know now

I could have been a better friend

wife and mother somehow

discerning and wise

knowing bad from good

at least in my own eyes

©JoyLenton2013

Hindsight

Hindsight poem pin for Poetry Joy

Hindsight is invaluable

for the insight it imparts

though a residue of regret

may linger in our hearts

maybe I can learn to start

something new today

in accepting it wisdom

without regrets holding sway

©JoyLenton2013

Day 6 of 31 days  writing #poetryforthesoul on love, loss, life and faith

Being framed

/ Joy Lenton / 4 Comments

Although it’s an inescapable reality, I try not to write much about or dwell upon my life as an M.E and chronic illness sufferer.

It can feel intrusive enough already.

Each day brings fresh reminders of pain and limitations.

A life framed by feelings I’d rather not have.

They can make life miserable indeed.

Though sharing misery is not really my goal or mission at all.

My emphasis is more on God’s grace to sustain, strengthen, heal and restore than on how it feels to be sick.

But I am making an exception today by sharing a poem that was originally featured on my other writing place Words of Joy and is mentioned in the current post there.

It was written at a time when society’s impressions were being greatly influenced by governmental views and decisions and is very much a poetic lament in support of all who live with such experiences.

Sadly, there has been no let up since.

It speaks of the unwarranted stigma and shame that sufferers can experience.

I hope you will come away from reading it feeling better informed and aware, with some insight into the lives of those with ‘invisible illnesses’.

Being Framed

I’ve been framed, boxed, categorised,

sifted, found wanting in society’s eyes

I’m not the woman they think they see,

but an inner person that’s really me

Viewing the image the mirror provides

if I dare to risk, turning away with sighs

Decades of illness have left their mark

and it’s hard to bear living in shaded dark

My eyes need rest I urgently seek,

the brain is foggy, body made weak

Pain and deformity cripple the frame

and it’s hard to remember inside I’m the same

A woman with dreams and a heart to express

all that’s buried within, though under duress

I want to be seen as I feel inside

but external appearance causes me to hide

Days without number I face my fears

that grow as hard to scale as our home stairs,

that this won’t go away and I might not be healed

that the inner joy may be forever concealed

For it’s hard to stay cheerful, harder still to be bright

in a world that pushes us out of sight

We’re the invisible people, out of the game

our only identity is pain and shame

Huge in number, if weak of voice,

the nameless ones who cannot rejoice

until labels and badges no longer apply

and we don’t have to keep asking you, “Why?”

Why not believe us, why not accept

this could happen to you, being sick and wrecked

Your body a tomb for a spirit that’s chained,

a livelihood lost, prison sentence gained

Eyes that accuse, hearts that are hard

do nothing but continue marking our card

Treated with scorn, hostility, derision,

our whole future residing on whim of decision

Fear haunts our days and disturbs our nights,

energy drained further to keep fighting our rights

Please, won’t you listen and heed the weak

as you hear our stories of the justice we seek?

Please remember we are people too,

not numbers, statistics, a warped world view

Lives are at stake as bodies fail,

strong in intent, though our hearts quail

Life in the Slow Lane can be no life at all

when it grinds to a halt against a brick wall

If you know someone who has M.E,

please help them and tell them you see,

you witness their pain, you understand the need

and you won’t turn away, you will pay heed

All we ask is for people to see who we are,

recognising this disease will take us far

into a future where compassion can reign

instead of resentment, sadness and shame

©JoyLenton2013

Despite the negative tone in the poem above, I am very much kept positive and hopeful by God’s continual outpouring of endurance, strength and love. Some days may be really challenging but His grace is always sufficient for every need.

This topic is being aired today as I am guest posting on my friend Mia’s site. I’d love you to come on over and read the full post here.

Day 5 of 31 days of #poetryforthesoul

Climbing strong

/ Joy Lenton / 13 Comments

So much of life can lay us low, bring defeat, discouragement and despair.

As part of the overcoming process we need to be reminded about God’s power to save and pull us out of any pit we may have fallen into.

Remember:

Even if we feel isolated and lost, we are never alone in any battle we may face.

Christ has already secured victory for us at the cross.

It is ours by faith.

His strength and grace are always available.

We are also part of His body.

Each one of us held and encouraged by the wisdom, comfort and prayers of others.

Together we are stronger.

No matter what we go through, we can have hope rising from the ashes of our painful and challenging experiences.

Today, I am celebrating the ability God gives us to support one another to rise above our circumstances.

Climbing strong

We rise up bold

shaking off dust and ashes

for we are the brave and the free 

kicking away the lies

and deceit of the enemy

now in tatters at our feet

as we take our place

together… 

let us embrace

our stories, who we are

how far we have come

renewed, redeemed children

of grace and hope

no longer at the end

dangling on bitten rope

we are…

rising, climbing strong

to the glory that awaits us

and enjoying the view

while we eschew all

that no longer belongs

as part of our lives

or hearts

as one…

being light

being salt 

being hope

bringing encouragement

as truth believers

truth bearers

weavers of story

strong through struggle

tensile with tenderness

love and compassion

as we seek…

above all things

to be true 

to ourselves

our calling

to the future

where hope rests

eternal in all

and nothing else

will ever snarl

trip us up

or make us fall

©JoyLenton2013

 

 

This is Day 4 of #poetryforthesoul Hope you can join me again tomorrow

Unfolding and unfurling

/ Joy Lenton / 8 Comments

Life can get so busy we forget how to rest and relax fully.

Weighed down by stress and strain, it can be hard to really let go, to allow our souls to relinquish their tight grip on the daily grind.

Even during Sabbath our minds can be so preoccupied with the minutiae of mundanity that we sink beneath its weight.

Perhaps we can learn a lesson from the natural world around us.

Plants and flowers are dependent on the provision of daily nutrients, balance in temperature, ambient surroundings and conditions for growth and fruition.

They seem to do nothing much for a while then we see life springing forth where all seemed dormant before.

It is the closing down season for many plants and trees as Autumn winds blow chill, fall must come, and a dying back occurs.

Even as that process is happening around us, we can be cheered by the prospect of new life and growth to come out of dead matter.

Maybe it’s a season in your life too where God is asking you to rest, be still for a while, lay fallow.

Maybe you are restless to see green shoots appearing and all looks bleak and barren.

Be reassured that God hasn’t forgotten you.

God does His best work in the long, slow dark places of our lives as our hearts are made heavy with longing for Him.

This apparent laying aside or closing down is to ready you and make way for abundant life to come – at just the right time.

Unfolding

Purpose unfolding

as petals unfurl

to the sun

welcoming its rays

absorbing heat and light

so are our days

opening anew

pregnant with possibility

radiantly bright

with God’s promises

raining down

refreshing dew-drops

of His grace

to sustain the weary

poured out nectar

that feeds us

sustenance to embrace

for days cold and dreary

knowing there is always

more than enough

for everyone

©JoyLenton2013

No matter what season we may be in, God’s love pours out as continual draught of sunshine into our souls.

We can bask in the light of His presence.

Enjoy the outpouring of grace and mercy.

Rest in His peace.

When shadows loom large, we can comfort ourselves by remembrance of His goodness and provision unfolding for each new day.

Day 3 of the 31 day challenge of #poetryforthesoul

Stay tuned for more to come

And do let me know which ones you like best as they may end up in a future anthology

Indigenous

/ Joy Lenton / 6 Comments

In the hands of an expert potter, clay is something altogether marvellous in the way it can be transformed into objects of beauty.

If we dig our boots or hands deep into clay we get soiled with mire clinging fast to clothes and skin. Unlovely. Hard to shake off. Needing a good scrub.

Our natural clay selves cannot be easily washed clean either.

While we live, breathe and have our being in God, we also remain rooted in earth, dwellers in soil and dirt.

Our fallen earthly nature clings tenaciously to frames bent low by burdens we were never built to carry as knees buckle under the weight of them.

Indigenous

We are indigenous

earth dwellers

rooted long

in soil

hard graft

sweat of brow

aching muscle

tillers of ground

planting seeds

of life

and hope

in dark places

with expectation

one day

we will see

some fruit

in harvest

to come

 ©JoyLenton2013

God remembers that we are dust.

And it’s His Holy whispered breath that enlivens, connects sinews to joints and muscles together as a body to receive His glorious presence.

Surrendering to His promise, we are raised anew with strength, and vigour, lifted out of any pit we may have fallen into, out of the mud and mire. Shaken down, dust-free and cleaned again, with feet set firmly on the Rock.

Dried in the refining fire of God’s Love, purified in the furnace of affliction where scorching flames burn off any dross or detritus gathered from soil-dwelling.

Emerging from its fiery heat bleached clean, fragile pure, awaiting the Potter’s hand to reshape and refashion these earthen vessels into containers fit for His Light to filter through.

Our many cracks, flaws and holes are no impediment.  The leaky spaces and places only allow His Light to shine through all the brighter.

And as we dig deep into the fertile soil of His word, its rich nutrients are a holding place for dormant seed to grow, bursting forth with an abundant harvest at just the right time.

Prayer

Dear Father,

Our earthly nature clings to us like resistant soil. We need to come to You for cleansing and purifying. You are the Potter, we are the clay. Help us to be willing to let You have Your way and not resist Your loving hand upon our lives. And even when we may protest at the way it make us feel when You are stretching  and calling us to come up higher, enable us to surrender to Your will and ways.

May we have a growing awareness that full, lasting change and transformation cannot come about, nor fruit be evident in our lives, unless we are renewed, remade, restored and refashioned as You see fit, into the image of Your Beloved Son, our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

Linking here with Nacole for #concretewords., where we write out spirit from a one word concrete prompt. This week’s prompt was:‘Soil’. You are very welcome and warmly invited to join in.

** Day 2  of the 31 day challenge to write #poetryforthesoul