Reflections

Maintaining a higher perspective

/ Joy Lenton / 6 Comments

maintaining a higher perspective - PJ

 

When life’s demands send us to our knees, or lay us low with illness and fatigue, we receive all the help we need when we look beyond our current circumstances and look up to God.

In the realisation that we have no resources left we are thrown upon God’s mercy and grace, His unlimited strength, stable unchanging character and limitless love.

During the long summer days when I have been absent here, flat-out with fatigue and often too preoccupied to see more than is before me, I’ve found my greatest peace in knowing God has got me covered.

He has given me supernatural strength to care for my husband after his spinal surgery, and energy enough to take on some of the household tasks I usually need to leave in his capable hands.

Yes it’s been tough, really hard and challenging for this woman with M.E. I’ve ached to resume our  normal routine again, because my husband’s recovery has been slow and support from others naturally lessened as the weeks went by.

I couldn’t write or be present on social media like I used to. My life shifted into a new gear,  demanding all I could give and more besides.

But I always knew (and still do as things ease a little) God was with me, with both of us as we adapted to our challenging changing circumstances.

The cloud of God’s presence overshadows every moment, even as His radiance invites us to look for the glints of light peeking through our own clouds.

He sees all our days. They’re spread out before Him  – a tapestry of grace in all its messy, tangled, colourful glory.

He paints beauty within the commonplace and yearns for us to see and sense it, too, those gentle footprints of His presence.

Some days I’ve looked up and watched the glory in the heavens. I’ve also caught a glimpse of things closer to home.

I’ve deliberately been trying to listen to my life, taking photographs of the beauty surrounding me, seeing things from a fresh perspective.

The poem below reveals the advantage of having a lofty perch mentally, if not physically…

A lofty perch

a lofty perch - PJ

They hover on the brink

close to the edge where

talons meet tile.

Their plump grey plumage

mirroring cloud covering.

Eyes scan the horizon

for a soul mate

to share a lofty perch.

A close companion

become a pigeon pair.

And in the courtship dance

they bill and coo their way

upon life’s stage.

Entranced by heights

they stretch and fly

together now, soft dots

against bright curtain swag

of sun and sky

©JoyLenton2016

Friends, it’s  good to be back to writing and sharing here again. I’ve really missed you! Thank you for your patience. Hope you like the new look. The header image is from an arty-style photo of mine taken this summer – an experiment in expressing creativity differently.  What has God has been revealing to you this season? I’d love you to share in the comments below. 🙂

That’s how the light gets in

/ Joy Lenton / 20 Comments

how the light gets in - PJ

Light infiltrates a forest. Its fingers spreading wider as it turns from spotlight to flood.

What began as just a small reveal soon illuminates everything. That’s how light works if we let it in.

Brightness beams its way into each day. We may not always see or sense it if our eyes or soul are dulled.

God sends His presence forth in rain and thunder, blaze of creation’s beauty and soft foggy breath of subdued sunlight.

There isn’t a place, space or person that can remain permanently indifferent to His penetrating, laser-light gaze.

Light will find a way to penetrate our days. The tiniest crack in the surface of things becomes an opening to grace. 

“Ring the bells that still can ring

Forget your perfect offering

There is a crack in everything

That’s how the light gets in” – Leonard Cohen lyrics from ‘Anthem’ 

God loves us too much to leave us alone to stew in our situations, or become derailed by challenging circumstances.

As our loving heavenly Father, He cares tenderly and compassionately about how His children are and how we feel.

I’ve been laid low lately with increasing physical and mental health challenges. It’s still hard at times to see the positive.

Each day is a fight to choose joy. To choose hope over despair, courage to go on instead of discouragement to grind to a halt.

Being mortal can seem like a burden on days when I yearn for a life beyond the one I am living. Maybe you’ve been there too?

But God… – two of the most important words in the universe – reminds me that you and I are birthed for a reason, here for such a time as this, destined for a purpose we can barely sense or taste the fullness of even as we’re living it.

All God asks is that we allow His Light and Love admittance, one small sliver at a time, letting it warm our hearts, restore gratitude and illuminate the path before us.

As God shines His goodness and grace into our hearts we begin to see how our very weakness and brokenness, the cracks in our earthly existence, are the means by which He enters in. So there is hope for us all.

A small reveal

There’s a sliver of light

snaking through these dark

curtains of discouragement

Barely a beam can be seen

but a softening ray may

just be discernible

It’s thawing shivers of ice

Cracking the surface

of seen things, making way

for the Unseen realm

to penetrate my

feelings of overwhelm

We think we need a road

to Damascus experience

But sometimes God shines

a tiny, subdued light instead

Enough for us to see and kneel

marvelling at this small reveal

©JoyLenton2016

How is God revealing Himself to you in this season? 

What helps to keep you stable in life’s storms?

A small reveal poem pin - PJ

Because he does it all for love’s sake

/ Joy Lenton / 17 Comments

celebration in Thailand 4

Let me tell you about my man. He’s not one of life’s movers and shakers, a risk or glory taker. He’s more of a shake-and-move-slow and an all-for-love’s-saker.

A man who played competitive football with zest, zeal and energy into his 50s. Only pausing to be able to take better care of me.

He was athletically inclined, sporty and strong, lithe and nimble, able and capable of doing most things he turned his practical hands to.

And now he bends under the strain of life’s burdens, the repercussions of workplace bullying and having a severe mental health breakdown; made lower still with spinal problems and Parkinson’s disease.

He’s too sick to hold down a job, but he is (thankfully) more mobile and capable than I am of taking care of the household tasks.

A lot of things have stopped him in his tracks. Life’s trials have emptied him of his previous vigour and vitality. Yet he gives to me so freely and willingly.

Because his heart is full. Full of love and care and kindness and compassion. Full of faithfulness. My man is tender, loving and servant-hearted, exemplifying Jesus to me.

We struggle on together. And during this week when M.E has a greater international awareness than usual, I wanted to write in praise of him. Most M.E sufferers would find their lives far more challenging without assistance from their carers. And he is that for me, despite his own disabilities.

My man may not be publicly acclaimed. He isn’t one to seek the limelight. He may not be much in the eyes of society, but he means the world to me.

My love – this poem is for you, with deep gratitude for all you are and all you do each and every day…

All for love’s sake

love is - all for love's sake PJ poem pin

He climbs the hill that grows

ever steeper by the week

Breath escapes in gasps as he pauses

now, aware of curious glances

But conscious more of his own

growing astonishment; how did

he come to this? A man made

small, constrained in movement

that once felt fluid, as smooth

as water – rendered turgid

And still he presses on because

errands need to be run, and

his are the legs to reach their

destination with comparative ease

His wife relies on him in ways he

wishes didn’t exist; her life now

bound to the house with M.E

and his tied to love’s desires,

life’s great demands and needs

Devotion steels his spine again

He straightens an aching back

and faithfulness becomes

the rack on which he stretches out

Extending and spending himself

in numerous little ways

as one who willingly acts,

he shakes – though firm with resolve,

giving his all for love’s sake

©JoyLenton2016

awareness_ribbons for ME

An often overlooked aspect of raising awareness for M.E  and chronic illness is not only our need for extra help and support with life’s daily tasks, but  also publicly acknowledging the ones who actually and actively meet that need for us. Hopefully my words have helped you to see a slice of life from the carer’s side as well, although everyone’s circumstances will differ, of course.

International ME Awareness Day is on May 12th, 2016. The whole month is devoted to it too.

Thank you for reading, and for your patience with the paucity of posts of late. I may not have had much spare energy to write here as often as I used to, but you can find me spilling forth words at my main site – Words of Joy – instead. I’d love to see you there. 🙂 x

When you need help starting over again

/ Joy Lenton / 22 Comments

starting over - PJ

What if we could start over again? What would it look like to wipe the slate clean, rewind time and take out the flaws and failings of our lives?

Sadly, we would soon discover that the fault lies within. A flawed heart means faulty choices and actions. An unredeemed mind leads us into toxic thinking and bad behaviour.

And only God can fully address humanity’s needs and offer us a fresh start when we place our faith in Jesus Christ. We can begin again by God’s grace.

Then each day becomes opportunity for starting over. Each hour breathes out potential of the barely begun.

When I reflected on this season, it became clear that I’ve been stuck in a ditch of discouragement for several weeks. Led by my feelings and fast losing any joy I had before.

I wondered why joy was so elusive, where God was in the midst of my distress, why I couldn’t seem to get out of this cycle.

There were no pat answers. But God gently urged me to write a bit about joy, little snippets He whispered during my prayer times.

It seems joy is like a bright light glimpsed in the distance and we often miss the fact it’s also shining in us.

It felt elusive until I realised it doesn’t depend on my feelings at all. Because joy is a gift of grace weaving through our painful circumstances and giving us hope in dark places.

Once we realise how joy is always hovering close by, then we can start to discover it in numerous ways, such as: a slow unfolding realisation of its presence, a heart’s gratitude, an attitude of praise, a smile from a loved one, laughter bubbling up, a beautiful view, hearing God speak comfort into our weary souls.

How have you discovered or rediscovered joy hiding in plain sight? I’d love you to share in the comments below.

I’ve found that joy is a choice. As we read God’s word, receive and believe it, we start to notice how the life of faith is a series of conscious decisions we make every day. And we can waken to that hope with each new dawn.

Friends, I’m sorry for being missing here for a while. Too much life slowed me to a standstill. Thank you for your grace and patience. ❤

dawn beach tanka poem pin

We come with a renewed view

/ Joy Lenton / 12 Comments

a renewed view cross - PJ

It’s Holy Week and we come with a renewed view as we approach the calendrical remembrance of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Two thousand years of history as a body of believers marks us out in society as souls who have accepted salvation in Jesus and surrendered to God’s work in us.

We bear a banner of faith and hope to hurting souls, a breath of Holy Spirit air to those dying on the inside, a haven of peace and rest to the stressed and depressed as we share The Way to become eternally set free from the fear, sin and pain of our fallen humanity.

We are Christ followers, His grace revealers, Truth sharers and burden bearers as we carry the holy weight of the cross before a waiting world, and the sorrows etched within it to our loving Saviour.

We are also eager for them to see the other side of the cross and the new life ready to be birthed on the inside by believing in Him.

In the sharing of His Passion and suffering, we too walk the lonely road toward crucifixion, ours being a spiritual one – a daily dying to self and the resurrection powered, liberating living of a Spirit-led life.

We come with hearts heavy at the enormity of the task before our Lord, and with hearts made free by the very act of His willing surrender.

Each day we live with the potential of life transforming change wrought by the cross, and the glory of the empty tomb before us, but never more so than during a week of walking the path of remembrance with Jesus.

Our view is renewed in the remembrance, hearts are made warm with wonder and minds remain amazed by the selfless act of pure unmerited grace that has bought our freedom at such a great price.

A renewed view

We come with a renewed view

as we gain sight of the road

rising up to meet us,

the long one paved in agony

on which we have placed our feet,

soled in faithful pilgrimage.

Blood marks the path before us

as Via Dolorosa rises strong

to claim our heart’s affections

for what Christ wrought true

as He courageously fought

on a cross carved out of wood.

Staked out on this lonely hill

where His disciples gather still

JoyLenton2016

a renewed view poem pin PJ

Preparation for fasting and feasting

/ Joy Lenton / 16 Comments

ash berries - life PJ

I belong to a faith tradition that makes no specific preparation for Lent within its practices.

It’s a relatively new thing for me to take note of Lent and consider how to prepare my heart for the journey.

And I’ve come to realise I cannot fully undertake it without surrender, intention and deliberation.

Life itself invites us into a gentle awareness of days and seasons of the heart, an opening to the sacred within the secular.

As nights draw in and days become dark and cold, we may gather dead, dry and dying plants together to make a bonfire. From the embers grey ash rises, ripe for garden mulch.

Ash is precursor to new life, new growth. A potent symbol of the dying and rising we experience within.

Likewise, Lent provides opportunity to sift out dead wood we’ve unwittingly gathered over time, consign it to death and seek the restoration and renewal God offers us through a transformed mind and heart.

Ash Wednesday

Absent from this temple

is smudge and ash of grey

reminder of and reason

why our Saviour came

But deep within this heart

remains a cloak of black

as sin still crouches there

ready to ensnare, attack

Deeper still within this soul

shines a Light without limit

where God’s Love resides

bringing wholeness to my spirit

And as I journey forth

leaning closer into Lent

my value and my worth

become ever heaven-sent

©JoyLenton2016

You can’t get a better companion to walk you through Lent and into Holy Week than Malcolm Guite as he invites us to become immersed in poetic reflection with ‘Word in the Wilderness’.

I’ve also downloaded a pdf file: ‘Hungering for Life – Creative Exercises for Lent’ compiled by Christine Sine, with Jean Andrianoff. Here, contrary to the usual emphasis on fasting, we are being asked to consider what we are hungering for during Lent.

You can find myriad resources for Lent on the Godspace blog, including prayers, ways of celebrating with children, musical and creative resources. Click here to discover them. Ignatian Spirituality also has 10 great ideas for Lent here.

This preparation will hopefully lead to deeper reflection on new life rising from death rather than focussing most on loss and death itself.

The words below speak into our need to focus on the positive. They came from ‘Morning, Noon and Night – Poems and Prayers’ and can be found in various forms in Lenten reflections. I’d love to hear how you prepare for Lent and make space for Easter.

“Fast from criticism, and feast on praise.

Fast from self-pity, and feast on joy.

Fast from ill-temper, and feast on peace.

Fast from resentment, and feast on contentment.

Fast from jealousy, and feast on love.

Fast from pride, and feast on humility.

Fast from selfishness, and feast on service.

Fast from fear, and feast on faith.” 

ash fast and feast - PJ

When you’re wearing a thin veneer

/ Joy Lenton / 14 Comments

a thin veneer - PJ

Life can pare us down to the bone. All that remains is a thin veneer of capability.

We can plaster on a smile but it doesn’t always hide heartache within.

Our souls can wear a semblance of normality yet shield a great deal of pain on the inside.

I was reminded of feeling this way recently when accompanying my husband to a hospital waiting room.

Such places provide a glimpse of the struggles others go through, although the evidence isn’t always evident.

We sit, trying to be patient patients in an environment guaranteed to provoke into anxiety, and you don’t have to be the one waiting to be seen to feel it.

We tend to cast covert glances around the room while being careful not to catch an eye. So much is given away by the windows of our soul, isn’t it?

Because who wants their concerns flagged up for all to see? Who can cope with a stranger’s curiosity?

Most of us just want to conceal our stuff, our inner baggage. Hide our woundedness from others.

How do I cope when life gets hard? I think a lot. Too much, sometimes. I cry. I pray. I read God’s word. I journal and I write poetry…

A thin veneer

She watches thin veneer curling away at edges

panels pared down to chine-bone, chipped

away by ravages of years and time

Hardly a soul here now, barely a breath

to stir antiseptic air made stale by fear

in this orthopaedic waiting room

Anxiety stalks these walkways where hushed

voices betray a reverence for medicine

Eyes flit to ceiling marred by blind hanging

by a thread, with silted panes protruding

beneath, clouding out blue sky, limiting

horizon for those seeking some escape

So we wait, reluctant clock-watchers of the hours

and see, with incredulity, how mere minutes

have passed since last we glanced at glass

Spirits sag in sympathy with weary bodies

wearing but a thin veneer of patience here

©JoyLenton2016

One thing I do know with complete certainty.. God loves you and me.

Jesus came to liberate us from inner loneliness, fear and anxiety. To open us up to a transformed way of thinking and being.

He offers us a way to break free from fear. To be so secure in His love, so changed by His grace that we no longer need to hide ourselves away.

We can live an open-hearted, giving and receiving kind of life when we turn to Him, become redeemed, restored and refuelled for wherever the journey may take us.

And those veneers we wear will gradually strip away. We can be real. We can be free. We can be all God intends us to be by His grace.

a thin veneer PJ pin

A moment in time

/ Joy Lenton / 8 Comments

seeking and finding PJ

Some moments are frozen in time, stilled in sense and sight. Etched on our minds and engraved in our memories.

I’m remembering a week when my beloved was away for a few days and (very thoughtfully) provided me with meals in the freezer.

All lovingly home-cooked and pre-prepared ahead of time. Yes I know, I’m one blessed woman!

There was even a typed list of what to find where and how to deal with it. How’s that for organisation?

He takes such good care of me; his hands willing to work on my behalf since he lost paid employment, and despite having developed Parkinson’s disease over the last 2 years.

Thankfully, he can still do most things he used to do before his diagnosis, albeit slower, with a degree of pain and fatigue.

I’m not completely helpless in a kitchen. I can muster up coffee, breakfast and a snack, but I am unused to coping alone with main meals.

Because cooking and cleaning are lost arts to me since I’ve become more chronically unwell with arthritis, fibromyalgia and M.E.

I can’t stand for long,  lift or carry much, can only walk a few steps unaided,  experience a great deal of muscle and joint pain plus profound fatigue on a daily basis, cognitive problems, brain fog and hypersensitivity to light and sound.

Thankfully, my husband actually loves to cook because he’s pretty good at it and preparing meals relaxes him.

We may live a rather limited life compared to some, yet we are grateful for small mercies and experience moments of  joy in little things.

The poem below speaks about my determination to press past my problems and push myself to enjoy a moment in time – although it’s not a recommended practice for those with M.E to extend themselves too much. Sadly, there’s always a payback afterwards. 😦

A moment in time

a moment in time laundry PJ

It’s only a moment in time

as I heed the inner need

to step outside a while

My senses alert to burgeoning

life as I peg laundry to line

I feel warm sun rays

playing on my face

like a heaven’s breath

benediction of grace

Whistling wind whips swift

tussling through hair and

trees, its resonant notes

vibrating each green leaf

Echoed in chiming ice-cream

van, roaming nearby streets,

while ‘sun has got its hat on’

sounds make children fleet of feet

My arms and legs ache so

with every move I make

And this bitter-sweet task

is no mean feat for me

Although washing is often

dried inside, today I yield,

follow my heart’s yearning,

welcoming embrace of Spring

©JoyLenton2015

a moment in time PJ pin

**I’m editing and sharing this pre-prepared post I’d intended to share last year, because my health remains rather challenging at the moment and fresh inspiration is a bit thin on the ground. Hopefully normal service will be resumed as soon as possible. Thank you for your grace! ** 🙂

The story starts with a seed

/ Joy Lenton / 22 Comments

from a seed - PJ

In Advent we look forward with anticipation to an event of great magnitude.

Remembrance and celebration of Jesus coming to earth for us.

Entering our fallen humanity with the purpose of being the only acceptable, possible sinless sacrifice for our sin.

Beginning in a humble place, with a message of universal hope and grace.

And like all historic occasions, as we look back we can see the seeds of it happening, the roots of origin revealed.

In the poem below I am trying to capture an essence of the foundations for God’s plan of salvation.

Because marvelling at Jesus coming to earth doesn’t stop (or start) with the babe in the manger.

It transcends time itself as part of God’s foreknowledge before we ever knew of it.

All stories start with a seed, a germ of an idea, a creative spirit.

This is the greatest story ever told. One we repeat with awe. God incarnate, come as one of us.

The story starts with a seed…

From a seed

dark seeds

Eve was deceived and

sowed a seed of destruction

leading to mankind’s expulsion

from heavenly joy into a darker

employ of labour and toil

fear, pain, guilt and shame

Yet hidden within her

human skin lay a dormant

seed-carrier capacity

a foretaste of the future

when sin’s enormity

would require a Saviour

And Mary became Seed-bearer

for the human race

to be redeemed by love

and set free by grace

by the birth of God on earth

constrained into a human frame

Her child – Jesus, our Messiah

Saviour, Servant-King and Lord

to whom we bring faith-seed offering

of a heart willing to believe

a mind receptive to receive

a spirit to praise and to adore

©JoyLenton2015

I’m sharing my chosen five-minute-friday word ‘seed’ and the poem that came from it with fellow word-wrangling wordsmith friends at Kate Motaung’s site, with Mel at essentialfridays and with Barbie for Weekend Whispers. You are very welcome to join us or to stop by and be blessed by reading the posts we share.

Mary as Seed bearer - PJ

A Man for all seasons

/ Joy Lenton / 17 Comments

advent- light of the world PJ

It’s that time of year again when a lot of us become overly distracted, caught up in a browsing/buying/bingeing frenzy even as we want to still our souls and focus most on the presence of the Light of the world within.

Some just want to disappear, pull the duvet over their head until it’s all over and life can get back to normal, please.

Each season brings its own charm and challenges, doesn’t it?

I love slowing down to have a deeper appreciation of Advent. Maybe you do too.

It’s a waiting, watching and wondering period of remembering how and why our Saviour came to earth.

Becoming a tiny babe in a earthly frame at the start of an arduous journey toward the cross.

His sole purpose was to hold out loving arms willing to die for us, to bear the burden of sin we carry within.

I can’t help but think how crazy-busy, sad and mixed up this season can be. Many are in physical or emotional pain, desperate, dying on the inside, others literally in fear of their lives.

As we sit heavy with a world’s sadness, sorrow and pain, we can breathe in sweet remembrance of  the Reason to savour the joy of our salvation, of our brokenness being made whole.

What if we primarily saw this season as a grace invitation to lean harder, listen closer, open our eyes and hearts to the Man for all seasons who stands ready with arms wide open to receive us?

A Man for all seasons

holly - for all seasons PJ

Deck the halls with boughs of holly

Fa la la la la la la la

‘Tis the season to be jolly

Fa la la la la la la la

But what if…

you feel the sharp prick of painful

circumstances bleeding into your days

or sway inside as you sip a bitter

cup bearing berries of unforgiveness,

or have grief eating you up within;

how can we celebrate a season of

consumerism or avoid its slick

perma-present ‘buy this’ rictus grin?

There is a way because there is a Man

for all seasons, a Son and Brother

who is our soul’s Lover; He stands

ready to ignite a fire to thaw all cold

and burden-heavy hearts

He sees the season we are in

and His gift offering invites us

instead to focus our blurry,

world-weary gaze on Him

It may feel wintry-chill within

our fearful souls but His Love’s warmth

seals against all ills as it permeates with

laser grace to revive and make us whole

©JoyLenton2015

I’m warming my heart today by having fellowship with fellow wordsmiths sharing their five-minute-friday offerings on the word prompt ‘season’ over at Kate Motaung’s place and with Mel and friends as we focus on the essential things of life and faith. You’re very welcome to join us.

for all seasons poem PJ