When you feel small

when you feel small PJ

There are days where we feel so insignificant, invisible even.

It seems as if we blend into the air around, lost in the ether.

Our voices feel weak as tiny bird. Our words fall flat on ears deaf to their sound.

Our place in the here and now looks insubstantial, shaky and small.

It feels like we’re hardly here at all.

Do you have days like that? I do. 

They are red flags to what’s going on inside of us. Warning signs to heed.

They are white flags of surrender. Cries for help beyond ourselves.

Because God becomes our only safe shelter in a world where we feel less than all He made us to be.

He knows the vagaries of the human heart. He listens to every beat it makes. Hears the inner laments and anguish of a soul in torment.

And His Father-heart cries over the cruelty of a world that scorns His Son and tears His children apart.

Because He knows how wearied we can become and how we are made for far more than this world offers.

I’m thankful for those who see, who hear, who listen, who respond and make me feel I have a voice, a tiny place of worth in the scheme of things.

But I’m grateful most of all for the unending, unconditional love of God who helps me to become all that I can be by His grace.

There are no losers, no left out people, no invisible or discarded ones in God’s Kingdom. We are people of great worth and value in His eyes.

We are the grace dwellers, the truth tellers, the anointed, redeemed, blood-bought children He loves beyond measure.

Yes, here.. and now, living in this upside-down kingdom, topsy-turvy world we’re in, we are very significant to Him.

Here

We live in a world addicted to gain

to ascending the summit of success

to amassing, collecting largesse

And yet you call me to dwell here

abide in quiet shadows of surrender

where I sense the humiliation

of my life so small against

the largeness of your love

Here I am nothing, yet remain

everything to you; my emptiness

the reason for your pouring,

filling, overflowing measure

of grace into every dark

and empty space inside my heart

Because your love leads me into

encounter, renewal, fresh start

©JoyLenton2015

When you feel small in the eyes of the world, remember Whose you are, my friend. Such thoughts stirred the  5 minute poem above.

I’m blessed to be joining in with the wonderful writing community that comprises Five Minute Friday. Today’s prompt is:‘Here’. Kate Motaung is our gracious hostess.

You’re very welcome to come and join us at her place as we celebrate the first anniversary of her time hosting this link up.

Also adding to the soul refreshment being served over at Bonnie Gray’s place for Beloved Brews. Do come over and take a fuel stop there.. 🙂

encounter PJ pin

 

When we need to accept help

helping hand PJ FMF

How hard it can be for us to realise we are helpless in some areas.

Human effort will only get us so far, as will natural talent and abilities.

Yet we so often strive to succeed by ourselves, not seeing our need of help or wanting any assistance.

Independence is a good thing on the whole, but a degree of dependence is also a sign that we’re aware of our own limitations.

We can see how the gifting in others enriches us and there is grace in accepting assistance and support.

We begin to accept that we need other people. Together we achieve so much more. United we are stronger.

Because eventually we’ll reach an impasse. A point of no return where we cannot do a thing except trust in another.

See our need and willingly (or grudgingly?) receive.

We’re wired to exist within community and live mindful of each other’s needs.

And some things in life are completely beyond us. Maybe you can think of a few?

In my life with M.E and chronic illness I’ve learnt to be gratefully dependent on those who assist me with daily living tasks.

In my writing life I’m completely dependent on Holy Spirit inspiration, grace, gifting and energy.

In my spiritual life I responded to what God had already done in Christ, seeing my impotence to save or change myself.

The poem below is my five-minute-friday contribution as I join others who write brave and free in a supportive community. You’re very welcome to join us over at Kate Motaung’s place. Today’s prompt is ‘Try’.

Also linking with Barbie at The Weekend Brew.. do drop in for some soul refreshment.

START…

You don’t have to

You don’t have to try to curry

favour with a risen Saviour

You already are His glory treasure

and He loves you beyond measure

It’s not your effort that will gain

you a seat in heavenly places

Jesus bore the cross and shame

so that forgiveness would embrace us

You don’t have to worry

as you go about your days

There’s no peace in stress and hurry

only in following His ways

You don’t need to do a thing

beyond believe in Him

and see how His sacrifice

offers us a renewed life

Rest easy, my friend

Seek the wonder of salvation

and eternity without end

for every person, tribe and nation

Relax and sense the flow

of His holy joy within

as you surrender and let go

trusting your life to Him

©JoyLenton2015

STOP.

flow PJ FMF pin

What to do when you scramble for words

bleak tree PJ file

Whether speaking or writing, we can soon come across an inability to find the precise words we want to share.

The stream dries up; all seems lifeless. We find ourselves parched, staring at barren ground and bare bones, our thoughts like twisted twigs.

The Muse seems elusive and unkind some days, or so we say – although she is really a mere figment in our minds.

A reason to hang our excuses upon as we scramble around for words vanishing in the ether.

Inspiration deserts us and we hover over paper or PC with fingers itching to release… only to come up empty.

What do we do when words drift away?

I’ve found that resting, relaxing and praying help enormously.

All inspiration is God-given and a gift of grace.

Because some days? Some days we’re too plumb tired to plumb the depths to extract the exact words we want.

So we pretend not to care for a while, switch off, engage ourselves with new pursuits, or give in to the need to pull back, seek some spiritual whitespace.

And in the quiet contemplation, in the resting in God’s presence, in the slowing down and stressing less we find we can tap into the Source of Life Himself and He begins to fill and flood our minds with lively thoughts once more.

Maybe a seeping through, a slow filter, a line or two, but then it begins to flow again.

We can breathe easy. Speak, write and type as God directs, comfortable in His provision and timing.

Because words will rise easy when God decides they need to and they’re ready to share.

Our part is to stay expectant, listen to our lives and all they are saying to us, listen for God’s voice and remain open to inspiration.

Then my friends, we give thanks, we speak, we write, we pour out our offering and we trust God to use it as He wills.

And we remember that God has an inexhaustible supply of words He desires to impart to waiting hearts.

Last night I was considering why I hadn’t written much poetry recently. There are lots of good and obvious reasons why my mind has needed a rest, not least that I’m currently staying with family.

Then a line or two insinuated itself into my mind, and this is how it ended up…

Cajoling Poetry

Poetry can act capriciously

especially if we try

to pack her into a

little rhyme or two,

or wrestle words onto

a page, she’s apt to fly

into a sullen rage

Although she has been known

to demur when called upon

to assist us in a song

And will indeed, sometimes,

be cajoled into a line

which, for better or worse,

becomes joined into a verse

And even though poetry

will not easily or

willingly bend the knee to me

or resists staying around

when I try to pin her down,

I find if I keep an open door

and open mind, she will return

with an offering – or more

©JoyLenton2015

cajoling poetry pin PJ

Living the ordinary-extraordinary

awakening to wonder PJ

My eyes are still awakening to wonder. A mind and heart engaged on an endless quest.

I ponder purpose and intent, meander around the messy middle of my days and so often still fail to see them for the sacred glory they really are.

Pain can pervade and pull our days out of shape; problems press in on every side and challenges abound.

But this ordinary life so many of us live has extraordinary revelation if we let it speak to us.

Pay attention to its message. Sense the essence of our days. Listen to what they’re saying.

I’m slowly unfurling my winter-weary soul toward the brightness of summer light as I embrace the new and the not yet of my existence, the tentative unfolding of plans which have been long-awaited.

And nothing brings me closer to awareness of God’s presence than to see Him active in the everyday.

Wearing worldly lenses can dull our senses, but spiritual one? They alert us to presence and purpose behind the pain, the ache of holy behind the familiar, the grace seen in hard places.

So this theme is ringing in my heart and I lean toward its refrain like one who never tires of its melody.

Because it’s a song God sings over His children unceasingly.

“The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing” ~ Zephaniah 3:17

Ordinary-extraordinary

God can be found in the everyday

ordinary-extraordinary of life

with all its wonder and ways

We count the moments because

moments count, and we count

blessings because we give freely

and they return easy – spilling

forth as gifts in the lap of time

Our eyes peel slow, waking

to wonder as we sip and savour

this coffee held in hand

this paper rustling conversation

this relating and waiting and enjoying

lost in the ether if we let it

become mangled by stress

tangled up in busyness

So we pause, catch our breath

release our reservations

snatch back each holy second

and see it for the sweet soul

sacred beauty and glory

mirrored reflection of

God’s story that it is

and we give praise

©JoyLenton2015 

“By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me – a prayer to the God of my life” ~ Psalm 42:8

ordinary-extraordinary PJ pin

Being set free

being set free PJ pin

Life has a way of wrapping tentacles around our hearts. Finding a weak spot and pressing painful.

Tormenting our thoughts, suffocating our spirits. It sucks life, drains energy, depletes and discourages if we let it.

It doesn’t take much for me to feel tipped sideways sometimes and wonder how in the world it happened.

Those are times when feelings overwhelm, fear sneaks in, comparison captivates our souls and we become weighed down by earthly concerns.

Feel the pressures mounting and feel ourselves drowning.

And we will sink unless we remember we have a Lord who walks on water, lives lightly and freely, calmly and peacefully, and wants us to do the same.

Impossible? It sounds like it if we see things only from a human perspective.

But when we reach the end of our fraying rope we find God is already waiting to lift us up, to heal and set us free.

Because rescuing lost and lonely souls, restoring and healing broken, bleeding, damaged and drained people is what He does best.

Because grace is new every morning and so are His forgiveness and mercy. A fresh start is available today to you and me.

When surrendered to God, our hearts, minds and lives are continually being set free from all that enslaves and entraps us, even if we fail to fully see or appreciate it.

Such thoughts were already in my mind today as I reeled from a restless night where fear and anxiety had sought to get the better of me.

And so I couldn’t help but smile when I saw today’s Five Minute Friday prompt was:‘Free’. 

How could I resist?…

START…

Set free

Some days I don’t feel free at all

ensnared as I am, entrapped

by my thoughts and caught

in the permanent tug of worldly

concerns with their tempting thrall

Some days I forget I’ve been

released by grace, set free by

mercy to become more fully me

given a new heart, redeemed

life and new identity in Christ

Today I feel like wounded bird

held tender in Your hands

cradled soft and comforted

as I shiver and shake my wings

afraid to leave Your fingers

Now I sense them unfurling

yet still curling warm into

my feeble frame, and I hear

Your voice whisper my name

as You remain ever near

I don’t feel ready for letting go

There’s so much pain I still

don’t understand how to embrace

But You breathe out Your love

say “I am enough” as You release

me into Your current of grace

©JoyLenton2015

STOP.

I’m connecting today with the wonderful wordsmith community over at Kate Motaung’s place where we write bold and free on a weekly theme. Come join us?

bird being set free PJ

Reflections of grace

sunset reflection

Even as we live out our unexceptional, hum-drum, wondrous lives we are reflections of God’s grace, mirrors of His glory.

It’s an awesome calling for every blood-bought son and daughter.

And an amazing privilege.

Most of the time we’re oblivious to the impact we have on others, unaware of  how much God may be using us to be light and salt in a needy world.

Perhaps that’s just as well.

Pride lurks close to our hearts and would have a field day if it saw the quiet, unseen influence we are having.

But the wonder of it all is how our dim light still reflects God’s glory, seen best in our faulty and flawed brokenness, our wounded lives.

He pours out of whatever crack or crevice we provide.

The more we feel unworthy, the more we are prospective channels of grace.

A willing, receptive heart is all He asks for.

A surrendered spirit.

A set apart soul.

And in all the 40 years I’ve been married to my beloved, I have seen him mirror God’s love to me time without number.

Because he loves as openly and unconditionally as any man can.

He always believes for the best, hopes for better, forgives me over and over again.

Sees portent of promise and potential in me long before it creeps into my consciousness or actions.

He makes allowances for all I am and breathing space for all I’m still becoming.

I still struggle to see myself as he sees me, rather as I so often fail to see myself as I fully am In Christ.

But I’m learning – to accept his love, believe in his (somewhat biased) perspective and relax into its promise.

The poem below appears in the anniversary card I’ll be giving to him this Sunday morning.

Reflections

In your eyes I see

reflections of all

I truly long to be

A woman of wisdom

A thing of joy and beauty

A person of great worth

And in our marriage unity

we reflect the complexity

of the 3 strand cord

A blessed trinity

A depth of love

A mirroring of God

Earth stands in awe

of holy intimacy

©JoyLenton2015

reflections poem pin PJ

Being the beloved

being the beloved PJ pin

Our insecure hearts seek signs of belonging.

Our minds ache for reassurance.

Our bodies seek to express love to others.

And when I am held in my beloved’s embrace, the inner turmoil melts away.

Concerns may sit heavy but they become lighter for being shared silently.

As he reaches for me I feel wanted, loved, cherished, accepted just as I am.

I can finally be fully myself with this man who knows me so well, who has partnered me for almost 40 years.

Words become unnecessary as we lean into one another. We speak each other’s language now.

Marriage made us as one and we remain so, even as life’s challenges and painful circumstances have tried to pull us apart.

Troubles are shared with kisses. Joy is magnified in the melding, in the overcoming, in the giving and receiving.

And in these heart to heart, soul to soul embraces we are reminded of the way God is continually holding us safe and pouring His unconditional love out upon us.

Because this love of ours has been sustained solely by His grace, nurtured by holy fire, stuck fast by faith.

We love because He first loves us. He is our pattern and example. The glue in this marriage.

And His arms of love never grow weary. We will always be welcome there.

God rejoices when we learn how to accept His love and live in the knowledge of being the beloved.

Arms of Love

Arms of love encircle me

holding secure and steady

as I finally exhale, release

breathe soft and calm

feeling prepared and ready

to accept and believe

hear and receive

that as beloved arms

encompass round

God’s Spirit hovers

without a sound, yet

speaking things He wants

to urgently impart

into the very depths

of my insecure heart

saying, “You are safe; you are loved

You are beautiful; you are enough

You are free – just trust in me”

©JoyLenton2014

love WoJ + PJ

Youth blooms eternal

listening PJ file image

Music speaks into the air.

We sway soft, holding one another close, watching years roll away.

Laughter erupts and we collapse onto the sofa.

I sit on his knee and we kiss.

I see a gleam in the eyes of this man I’ve known and loved since forever.

Youth blooms eternal in a heart that loves. Age is no barrier.

We warm ourselves by its fire, persuade its embers into life again, coax the coals.

Others pay attention, attracted like moth to flame, desiring the heat of it.

Although our human love is but a poor, pale shadow of God’s love, it glows with hint and suggestion of His radiance.

Hearts hungry for love sense a longing echoing in their own souls.

And as my beloved and I come closer toward a significant wedding anniversary, we do so with humble gratitude, awe and wonder.

Because this love we’ve been given, shared soul deep, fought hard to retain over years of fears and tears, has survived against the odds and never lost its fire and fervour.

So I make no apology for posting about love this month as I reflect on the gift we’ve been given and the years shared.

Here’s the first small offering… a potential poem for my forthcoming anthology?.. You can decide.

Watching Muse
We’re watching Muse on the TV
our voices joining in
with the melody
in our own idiosyncratic
cracked and rusty way
And it doesn’t matter that
I’m applying your Parkinson patch
as we dance clumsily as one
or that I sway uneasily
on these weak, arthritic knees
What matters is the unleashed
joy as giggles erupt free
and we clutch one another
in imperfect harmony
with a youthful abandon
and familiar, ancient ease
©JoyLenton2015

couple dancing

Aim at heaven

Aim at heaven - CS Lewis pin

Reality and truth are hard to define. We all live with shifting perspectives, objectives and definitions.

Circumstances cloud our judgement. Pain makes us doubt what we thought we knew before.

Life constantly remoulds our thinking, stretches our boundaries.

We sense we are born for more than earthly striving. Our gaze begins to rise heavenwards.

Where can we turn for wisdom? Who will guide us into Truth?

What if we really believed what the Bible says, about how Truth is a person and not an idea?

Jesus came that we might have life in abundance as we place our faith and trust in Him.

He alone can fully answer the questioning soul’s concerns because He brings truth and reality as seen from God’s perspective.

Here, we see in part, understand but a little, comprehend only a fraction of what is taught and revealed, given and received.

We aim at heaven and get earth thrown in, but we still live with mystery into eternity.

So we grow in faith, life and maturity and learn to live into the answers to come.

And we finally become satisfied in the not knowing of all our heart desires to understand.

Because this we do know… we are deeply, unconditionally loved, here for a purpose beyond the present, brought into relationship with God, and able to trust Him in the silence and the dark as well as in the light.

‘Reality’

The greatest reality is seen in divinity

The essence of all that is and exists

Expressions in every place

providing glimpses of grace

A revealing and concealing combined

An unfurling in hearts over time

Whispered sounds down corridors

of years, and roar of waterfalls

echoing in our ears

We see and sense Him all around

Because God is eager to be found

Dark valley-life with heaviness of cloud

acts like a muffler and a shroud

Each storm sends us to our knees

where we offer up our earnest pleas

Our reality too rocky to bear

until we sense Him drawing near

Offering faith-filled walk on water

to every drowning son and daughter

©JoyLenton2015 

Linking here with Barbie at The Weekend Brew where soul refreshment is being served. Come and join us?

reality poem pin

And we weep:ode to Charleston

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Life is a precious gift, one we often fail to fully appreciate or see it for the wonder that it is.

And when lives seem to be prematurely torn apart, destroyed at the hands of another, then it hurts us all.

We feel the pain.

We ache with grief.

We mourn the loss.

We are connected in our weak and wounded humanity.

We see death steal vitality.

We seek answers and come up empty.

And we turn, as hearts do in their ache and confusion, toward the Author of life Himself.

We cry out.

We rage against the dying of the light.

We feel impotent in the face of injustice.

We weep.

And soon, we sense Him near.

Holding us close.

And weeping just the same…

And He wept

Outside, an ordinary day where wind

whispered a soft summer night breeze

Inside, some folks coughed and others

gently leafed through open Bible

nestled on their knees

Rippling the reverent hush

falling all around, while God’s word

was heard and devoured

And little did they know how

soon all silence would be shattered

when the room reverberated

with bullets…

Meanwhile God, contracted to a span,

incomprehensibly made man, saw

as He had on earth, how vile

humanity’s insanity can be

And He wept…

bitterly for those He loved, for

those He gave His all, who

scattered now like scarlet petals

crumpled to the ground

His heart tore, contracted even more

in sorrow, wept afresh with His

amazing grace

©JoyLenton2015

as petals fall to ground file image

We will not forget you, Charleston.

We will join our voices with your own.

We will not rest while unrest sits so deep in human souls.

We will not give up while anger rules and lives are stolen.

We will pray for hearts to be transformed and for the Prince of peace to break down barriers, transform and make lives new, bring hope and healing, forgiveness and faith for the future.

You are not alone.

We stand with you.