encouragement

story: owning the story of our lives #thedailyhaiku 31

/ Joy Lenton / 17 Comments

 

I’ve lost count of the number of times I have wanted to disown the story I am living, rewrite it differently and choose an alternative narrative arc. Maybe you have too. So what does owning our story look like? 

As a woman of faith, I venture to suggest it looks like seeing our lives as a small but highly significant part of God’s greater narrative. In the story He is telling throughout history, we all have a part to play. You matter. Your life isn’t a mistake or an accident.

I grew up thinking (hoping?) I must have been adopted, such was the disconnect between me and my family of origin. Later on, hearing how my mother had taken measures to try to stop the pregnancy from continuing, my insecure feelings grew stronger.

Then God happened. He’d been there right at conception, of course, planned for me to live at such a time as this, to be born into the generation I belong to and the family where I arose from but failed to see myself as cherished.

I was born prematurely and against the odds. I was meant to be here. And to survive whatever life threw at me. I was also born to bloom and thrive because of belonging to the family of God. 

Once I came to faith in Christ, my  wounded soul brokenness was no surprise to Him, only a recognisable state we all struggle with to varying degrees. I finally woke up to the fact that I was unconditionally loved—by Almighty God Himself.

It has taken me a while to own the story of my life, filled with brokenness and emotional pain as the years have been, plus decades of health challenges. But that’s only viewing it from a purely human perspective.

Now I am able to see how God poured out His mercy and grace, loved me immeasurably, tenderly wiped away the tears and gave me a brand new start through Jesus.

I am incredibly blessed to have a husband who adores me, a loving family and close friends. I no longer want to disown the story of my life. Instead, I am willing to speak out about how much God has changed and glorified it by His grace. And He will do it for you too, my friend.

Owning my story

I claim this story
the life I live, holding it
shyly—out to you

you gather pieces
of my brokenness and give
them back to me—whole

and in your eyes, wide
as the ocean swells, I see
sweet mercy and grace

caught in a net of love
with no thought of escape, here
I will stay—always
©joylenton

We’ve made it! This is the last post in #thedailyhaiku series for October’s #write31days marathon reading/writing challenge. It’s been a joy and sweet encouragement to have your company here. Thank you! If you want to catch up with the rest of the posts, please click here.  And look out for a surprise bonus tomorrow!  🙂 ❤

shadow: hope for when your past clings on today #thedailyhaiku 21

/ Joy Lenton / 4 Comments

 

Try as we might, we cannot erase our past. Only God can give us a clean slate, fresh start and a new heart. We soon discover that the worst of events tend to continue to haunt us in the present like a ghostly presence. They cling like an unwanted second skin, clammy and cold to our souls.

I’ve had to learn to relinquish my past to God, mainly because some of it is just too heavy and painful to carry alone. This doesn’t mean that it never enters my thoughts. Far from it. The enemy is always whispering venom to our hearts and minds. He loves to remind us just what we were, where we came from and how we’ve been wronged.

And when that happens we can get drawn back into the feelings we had back then, sucked into the swirling vortex of pain, while our minds relive it all over again like a never ending cinema reel.

But we have a powerful weapon against the enemy’s  wiles. As we read God’s Word it not only reminds us just who we are in Christ, it saturates us with beautiful, holy Truth and Light that drives out the dark and ugly lies we’ve bought into.

 

The more we believe the Bible over what our fearful hearts have clung to, and allow the Lord access to all areas, the better prepared we are to fight with spiritual weapons instead of caving in to pain, and accept we are redeemed and washed clean, a new creation in Jesus Christ.

It’s what gives us the resources and strength we need to move on, dwell on God’s mercy, forgiveness and grace instead of on our guilt-ridden and shame-filled past, while learning to live more joyfully in the present day.

a vanished shadow

a vanished shadow
yesterday clings ghost-like, grey
while we live today
©joylenton

our aching heart void that only God can fill #thedailyhaiku 19

/ Joy Lenton / 8 Comments

 

Hearts are such fragile things, easily hurt and wounded, broken and crushed. Our brokenness means we all have an aching heart, whether we sense it or not. Life’s flotsam and jetsam twists us up inside and we crave an elusive peace.

Nothing we try to do can quite assuage the void within that fills with unshed tears and pain. I wrote something about this in my poetic memoir, especially in the poem below. It’s not a haiku but it addresses this topic well…

Broken

In every pew

sits a broken heart

In every church

we’re falling apart

We’re the haunted

by memories and shame

We’re the wounded

by sickness and pain

In need of

God’s mercy and grace

In hope of

change taking place

We reach out

with yearning tears

We sing out

broken hallelujahs

©joylenton

There is an answer to our weariness, weakness and pain, our guilt and shame, our wounded state. His Name is Jesus and He is the Son of God, broken for us on the Cross so that we might experience true rest, freedom, peace and joy through knowing Him.

Father,

I pray that every thirsting soul and every aching heart will find their heart’s true Home in relationship with you. May you assuage the pain that comes from living in a fallen world, bring us peace beyond all earthly understanding and a joy which surpasses our wildest expectations.

Saturate our hearts with your Love, your goodness and grace, your immeasurable, awe-inspiring Holy presence. And grant us deep soul rest as we learn to trust in you above our own desires and anxious thoughts.

Heal our brokenness and give us Hope to start again, no matter where we are situated or what life has thrown at us. May we receive your mercy and forgiveness, let go of guilt, shame and disgrace and be able to lift our heads high, knowing we are your own Beloved ones.

Amen

aching heart

our hearts are aching
there’s an emptiness inside
Jesus alone fills
©joylenton

**PS: you can access my book, ‘Seeking Solace: Discovering grace in life’s hard places’, in the sidebar here or on Amazon**  🙂

splash: your creativity is waiting to be released #thedailyhaiku 13

/ Joy Lenton / 14 Comments

 

Inspiration strikes us in numerous ways. For me, it’s more of a gentle, mellow listening to my life and the things I read than having striking eureka moments. Suddenly, a situation, word, line or sentence will create a response, often drip by drip or with a welcome splash.

Creativity is latent in us all, waiting to be ignited, fired up and ready to go. Though the triggers may vary, the process usually excites, stirs something recognisable in us, makes us feel alive and energised.

That brief spark, immersion or gentle splash are all welcome. All play their part in encouraging us to create, unleash the God-given abilities deep within. On the inside, I’ve always been a scribbler, storyteller and poet. But there were many years when you wouldn’t have known it. My abilities lay dormant.

I doused the flame of creative enjoyment and enthusiasm with my own insecurities. Life’s trials and tribulations (later providing great creative fodder) were like a huge boulder pressing down on me, squashing any faith I had in being able to create.

What changed? I did. On the inside. Or rather, God changed me and transformed my thinking, gave me courage, confidence and strength to share my words publicly. Yes, the negativity still shrieks at me on my worst days. I feel inadequate for the task. But even a small splash of grace can set me back on my feet again. And He will do it for you too, my friend! 🙂

splash of words

there’s a splash of words

ready to be harvested

in my consciousness

©joylenton

when we want thoughts to flow like water #thedailyhaiku 11

/ Joy Lenton / 14 Comments

 

As a writer and poet I experience days, weeks and even seasons when words falter and fail, the flow stalled somehow. When it stutters to a halt it usually indicates that I need to stop, take a break for as long as necessary and just let things happen naturally in their own good time.

There’s no need to panic when you hit a writing hiatus. Thoughts flow more freely when we yield to the need for rest, stretching our our stiff limbs and getting some fresh air if possible. Straining to write rarely yields a good result.

And when we rest, relax, feed our souls with prayer, quiet times with God, our favourite music and good books, we find they tend to stimulate a flow once more. It might appear in small dribs and drabs but one day a stream will issue forth and we will write with words begging to be put down on the page.

If I desire to write poetry then it helps me to begin again if I read some each day. Gradually, the lines I see in everyday, ordinary things will leap out at me. My soul starts to spot a rhythm and cadence that can set me off in the right direction. Once a few words are formed, it isn’t long before a new poem takes shape with ease. Such days are beautiful grace gifts and blessed indeed!

flow like water

these quiet currents
flow like water over stone
rippling through my mind
©joylenton

freedom: bright butterfly of hope hovers close #thedailyhaiku 2

/ Joy Lenton / 10 Comments

 

Butterflies always speak of freedom to me. I envy their ability to break out of their earthbound chrysalis confines, emerge sparkling new, beautiful and ready for flight.

If only I think. If only we could be like a butterfly, see an end to our struggles and break out into the clear light of freedom. Such a time may be a long while off, though small victories here help build upon the scent of freedom to come.

But we have that blessed eternal Hope from God awaiting us, even as we wrestle with things in the here and now, while we learn how intrinsic faith is to our eventual flight to freedom.

It’s close,  my friend. Closer than we think. Closer than we know. It shimmers in the air around. Keep believing and hold onto your hope for better times to come.

Butterfly of hope

Freedom beckons us

like bright butterfly of hope

shimmers in the air

©joylenton

life: life as wild-fire dance and sacred sky embrace

/ Joy Lenton / 22 Comments

 

How to describe life in all its fullness? There is too much to easily encompass in a snappy line or two, such is the breadth and depth of human existence. Though Scripture reminds us that our lives here are short, but a breath, mist in the ether, dissipating vapour disappearing fast like sand in an hourglass.

And though we are all destined for dusty death, during our earthy, clay-cracked days we can become enlivened on the inside by God’s amazing grace. Then we begin to discover there is so much more to this life than we ever knew before.

In the magnetic poetry below, I am seeing life as fresh, green, joyful, ultimately transitory but full of bright potential, especially when our hearts have been warmed by the love of God. We each leave a legacy, a mark on the world, an ache in another’s heart. Even if family didn’t welcome our arrival, our existence counts for something, part of an eternal plan before we ever began.

We are here to know and love God, find fulfilment in His will for us and seek our best joy in being united with Him. We are here to love and support one another, become soul companions on the journey we are all making toward wholeness and healing.

Life’s like…

Life’s like a shady green stone which murmurs

Listen to it falling, blanketed soft by earth

A soul must feel wild sun-love, thrive and breathe,

grow light, dawn-bright—but soon become moss-cold

as sweet river harmony gives long rest stroll

©joylenton2017

 

A sacred sky embrace

I wake to the joy of a wild-fire dance,

devour warm rhythm of flowers on grass,

picture an eternity with God-breathed poetry

surrounding me like a sacred sky embrace

and words melting in cloud-kissed breeze

©joylenton2017

 

There is a dark shadow hanging over all our days, and a bright white Light guiding us Home to our heavenly Father’s throne. We can look forward to a time when sorrow, sickness and pain are but a distant memory, tears will spring from a joyful, thankful heart and our problems are in the past.

We will sing, laugh, dance, and live more exuberantly than ever before when we’re finally experiencing the fullness of the Kingdom of God, where we were always meant to belong. It is where the poetic promises of Scripture will be lived out to the full, and what gives us Hope in the here and now, while we struggle and suffer under life’s dark clouds.

How do you view your life here? What gives you hope for the future? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.  🙂

eyes: looking for the eternal rainbow of hope

/ Joy Lenton / 10 Comments

 

Our eyes swivel with hope, desiring to discern wonder, keen to see how Mystery pervades the everyday. A rainbow is seen as a sign of hope and blessing. In biblical terms, it reveals God’s eternal covenant with mankind. We also see it as a marker of His glory and splendour.

The eyes of our heart slowly become awakened by God’s glory and grace, made aware of His penetration of everything. For our heavenly Father eagerly desires us to discover and be drawn into relationship with Him.

We begin to chase the rainbow of Holy Light, seeking to unearth deep treasure hidden within the pages of Scripture. Because a shaded life is made bright by grace. 

As we trace Christ’s steps to Calvary, become awed by His risen resurrection victory, we begin to see the cost of so great a salvation—abundant, lavish, rich and free.

Gradually, we are transformed from the inside out, enlivened by God’s grace, given a brand new start, new life, new heart. No longer are we in a driven race for success but in a place of deep, abiding soul rest.

The darkness within is a result of sin, as we wrestle with our flawed desires and the heat of them. But God has paved The Way for us to become reunited with Him. A road of Love, a public pathway of Christ’s freely spilt and poured out blood.

Who will quench the fire?

Behold our desires

like hot eyes of flame inside

Who will quench the fire?

©joylenton

 

God’s eyes roam throughout the whole earth. He sees you and me and we look lovely in His sight, viewed as we are through the lens of unconditional Love, a beautiful mirrored reflection of His Son.

Dart of love

We are beholden

God’s sharp, keen-eyed dart of love

has pierced our armour

©joylenton

 

Once we have tasted God’s glory and grace, it makes us hungry to know more. Our inner and outer eyes become better attuned to His presence with us, even as they yearn for the Day when Jesus returns physically to earth in full power and splendour.

We behold glory

We behold glory

Hearts fill with wonder—eyes see

Jesus is with us

©joylenton

 

The words above were inspired by this week’s haiku challenge prompt of ‘Behold&Eye’, set by our Poet Master, Ronovan. Just click here to read the great posts being shared and join in if you want to have a go!  🙂

bucolic: God grants us an expanded vista with eyes of faith

/ Joy Lenton / 20 Comments

 

We’re en route to visit our elder son and his wife. And I’m this mad woman passenger, happily snapping scenes out the car window, to the amusement of my husband and annoyance of other motorists, no doubt.

What passes like an oh so familiar blur for others is a source of endless fascination for me. I rarely travel any distance, due to fatigue and pain, and this is less than an hour’s duration. But I’m greedily drinking in the view, like a thirsty woman deprived of liquid refreshment.

Being housebound by M.E and chronic illness can feel confining at times, so when I have an opportunity to view a broader expanse of sky, an accumulation of cumulus, flash of greenery and a bright yellow beam of rapeseed, then I lap it up, enthralled by the beauty all around me, lush with loveliness. Though I cannot deny the way that my life of stillness, retreat and rest speaks volumes to me too.

When we walk with the Lord through challenging soul night-watches, we learn a little bit more about how lovingly He inhabits each moment, light or dark as it may be. We begin to have deeper discernment of God’s thoughts and ways, as we surrender our drives, desires and frustrations to Him and open our eyes to the sheer wonder of His glorious presence with us, rendering the mundane beautiful.

Gently bucolic

Earth’s verdant garden is gently bucolic,

blooming like Eden, with dawn love-light

But in life’s dark night-watch season, our

pure, full moon will almost wither, and

intuition blossom, as we wander long there

©joylenton2017

 

“If I say, ‘Surely the darkness shall fall on me’, even the night shall be light about me; indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, but the night shines as the day; the darkness and the light are both alike to You” ~ Psalms 138: 11-12 NKJV

Life may try to steal our hope and joy, and external beauty may wither and wane, but we always have Hope when we turn to our loving Father God. He invites us into an eternal, sacred dance, a deeper exploration of joy than we’ve ever known before and a desire to follow Him in the here and now, linking hands and hearts across the universe.

Exploring joy

My broken self is a haunted prisoner

of dark poison secrets—heart of glass

But I wake from decay and embrace my

Father. We dance, celebrate with a kiss

and sail this perfumed ocean universe,

exploring joy like a lively velvet star

©joylenton2017

resurrection: an unravelling and loosening to be set free

/ Joy Lenton / 10 Comments

 

How easily we can fool ourselves into thinking we are free, while we live unaware of those invisible chains which still have a hold on us. We can be captured and captivated by the things of this world, enslaved by our own drives and desires, held captive by guilt, shame and pain. But we try to hide away from the anguish it brings.

Jesus offers us a remedy for a life of slavery to self and to sin, and hope for a need to be set free. His blood, His love, His goodness and grace all pave the way to an eternal destiny where freedom beckons with an invitation, whereby bending, bowing and brokenness are the means of entry.

Will we come? Will we heed the risen Saviour’s voice calling out across the sands of time? Will we seek to be loosed, like Lazarus, from physical and spiritual death?

Once a soul has been given to God, it will never be the same again. He will gradually, gently take and break, mould and make us anew, shaping us oh so tenderly into all we were always intended to be.

Being loosed

Lazarus became loosed from death

precursor to the cross to come

where death would lose

its final sting, and Christ

would rise soon from the tomb

 

A strange unravelling,unwinding of

bandaged limbs held fast in waxy cold

confines of morbidity, where life was lost

A warming, rushing pulse of life-breath

flooding through instead, as colour returns

and rigor mortis turns back to vigorous

 

And death’s steely-grip chains break at last

as our Saviour reveals The Way to be free

Now we have Hope and Life anew, as we

limp through our own resurrection days

blinking in unaccustomed Sun’s rays

 

We teeter on the edge, where death

lies as sinking abyss, yet across

its depths Christ’s firm footsteps tread

His arms spread wide to bring us Home

to eternal Life spent by his side

©joylenton2017

And once we have heeded the call to die to self so that we can rise to newness of life in Christ, we discover how, little by little, with Holy Spirit’s help, those things we were addicted to, or which held us fast, are slowly loosed.

An unravelling begins, as we become more alive on the inside, our hearts softened by God’s love, our souls more receptive and ready to be changed. Day by day, Christ’s resurrection glory and joy begin to overcome the darkness within. We are free… We can breathe… We can begin again…. Easter resurrection hope and  joy is ours for eternity.  Christ is risen indeed, hallelujah!!

Happy Easter, dear friend! May you rejoice in the glorious Hope we have in Christ.  🙂 ❤