faith

Mosaic of a marriage

/ Joy Lenton / 6 Comments

mosaic image for PJ mosaic of a marriage

 

Nobody can fully appreciate or understand the dynamics, anatomy and intricacies of a marriage, apart from the couple intimately involved in it.

And even then, much remains a holy mystery.

We are husband and wife, friends and lovers joined together in union and communion with God and one another.

Two become one in mind, body, soul and spirit in a divine alchemy of grace.

My marriage is heavily grace-dependent.

My background, experiences and personal problems have gradually made me someone other than the relatively carefree young woman I used to be.

As I’ve tried to work through a legacy of dysfunctional family life, childhood abuse, guilt and shame, (and the mental health breakdown they gave me) the one linked inextricably with me has also lived through it all.

Now, after more than 20 years of having M.E and chronic illness, my ability to be the wife he needs and wants is hampered further still.

Though we have struggled a great deal (and continue to do so), some things shine out bright and clear as I look back over the years:

Love will always find a way where there seems to be no way.

Faith can endure all things if it’s faith rooted in God and His sustaining power.

Hope may wither but it rarely dies.

Joy comes in unexpected places and circumstances.

Grace is a prerequisite for a godly life and marriage.

God gives us all we’ll ever need ~ even if we rarely have all we want.

In musing on these things over the last few days it is no great surprise that my mind turned to this territory to write about today.

And as I do so, I rejoice over the masterpiece God is creating out of the messy mosaic of my life and marriage.

‘Mosaic of a marriage’

Nothing in our courtship could have prepared

our youthful, hopeful, joy-filled hearts

for the prolonged grief and pain we’ve shared

or the need for so many fresh starts

Nothing in my mind could have foreseen

how very hard and challenging

living with me would have been

more your worst nightmare than dream

For we have been tried and tested

as gold goes through the fire

refined, processed and sifted

retaining heat, passion and desire

Nothing I can say will make up

for numerous ways I’ve let you down

You’ve had a bitter pill to swallow

gaining a face wreathed with frowns

But we, who are nothing without

the sustaining power of God

have finally made Something

of this life and path we’ve trod

Given grace from the One

who pours out His love every day

Given faith to persevere

when nothing’s gone our way

So I love you imperfectly

just as I am

and you’ve accepted my offering

a meagre nothing to the feelings

found within my man

Thank God for new beginnings

Praise Him for being true

Give Him the glory for making

faithful, if faltering, lovers

out of me and you

©JoyLenton2014

Joining with Lisa-Jo for #fiveminutefriday (yes, I ran over time!) ~ this week’s prompt is:‘Nothing’. You are very welcome and warmly invited to join in. Linking also with Mel and Laura

You can read more about how the issues above have affected my marriage in this post from Words of Joy.

I share openly in the hope of encouraging others to know they can live with and rise above their circumstances by the grace of God.

mosaic of a marriage file image on PJ pin

In the furnace

/ Joy Lenton / 7 Comments

fiery furnace file image for PJ

‘In the furnace’

My faith feels tarnished, stained,

edges worn, rust ingrained

No walking on water for me ~

I’m sinking in seas of adversity

Years of being at the end

of a fragile, fraying rope

leave us dangling, uncertain,

with bruised hearts, dashed hope

What began shiny, new

penny-bright, has faded

into fog, misted out of view,

jaded, gone from sense and sight

Yet, be it weak, small as

mustard seed to be sown

our faith does not depend

on ourselves or strength alone

Nor is it stretched by being

untested over time and years

or lost, unseen, when eyes

blur and swim with tears

Time spent in The Refiner’s fire

is to purify, burn off dross

from flawed motives and desires

we have counted as loss

We enter defiled, soiled as dust,

fragile, worn out and feeling old

We emerge, unmarred, unscarred by rust

renewed, restored ~ come forth as gold

©JoyLenton2014

“In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials, these have come so that your faith ~ of greater worth than gold , which perishes even though refined by fire ~ may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honour when Jesus Christ is revealed” ~ 1Peter1:6 -7 

Dear Lord,

Even as we squirm and resist the fiery furnace of affliction, help us to remain until your work is complete in us.

As sickness, pain and problems weigh heavy, enable us to withstand the heat they bring and to see your hand in everything.

May we learn patience, endurance and trust as our faith gets stretched beyond our ability to cope.

For when we’re left dangling at the end of our rope, we are never as alone as we may feel.

Your arms are always ready to reach out, lift and support, carry and hold us, provide rest and respite, strength to go on.

May we be reassured by your continual loving presence and willing to say ~  have your way in me.

Amen

Joining here with Nacole, Holley and Jennifer

as gold ~ In the furnace poem image pin

Vibrancy

/ Joy Lenton / 4 Comments

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

 

Within the darkest recess of soil life stirs.

It cannot be held back for ever.

There is seed bursting forth. New growth appears. Fruit will come.

Arid, dry desert places give way to lush green, verdant growth.

In the Winter of our souls,  entombed hearts awaken to Life. Resurrection. Gasp of freedom.

Sense hope rising and faith stirring.

Vibrancy in the air; pulsation of purpose.

An awakening.

Call to rise up.

A new season has begun.

Yesterday’s mistakes, pain and problems can be laid aside, cast at the Saviour’s feet.

Grace calls us forward, upward and onward. Readies us for change.

The old is left behind as we welcome and embrace this day, this moment, this gift of new beginnings.

Gratitude grows strong in hearts ready to receive God’s best.

geranium leaf ~ vibrancy tanka poem pin 2

 

What’s in a name?

/ Joy Lenton / 4 Comments

Have you ever chafed against the name you’ve been given? Wondered why or how it was chosen.

Felt you couldn’t live up (or down) to it. I have.

As my years have spanned out, confusion set in about my name.

Yes, I knew it came as a diminutive of my mother’s, was given by my father in a split-second, finger-pointing decision (I’m one of twins) , has had great implications for how I live as a Christian and how others perceive me.

Yet I have worried and wondered in turn as I have sought to live under its shadow, feeling oh so unworthy in a life marked more by pain and problems, sickness and sorrow than joy.

So when I saw the prompt for this week’s #fiveminutefriday link up, these thoughts immediately bubbled to the surface.

And I found myself asking God, “Why was I called Joy?”

He reminded me that it was a wonderful thing indeed to be able to say with great conviction, “The joy of the Lord is my strength” ~ and that remains my testimony. 

I came empty to a life of faith. I remain empty unless God fills me. His love, light, grace, mercy,  joy and strength are my daily necessities. Maybe they are for you too?

My witness is a life circumscribed by God’s continual comforting presence in every possible circumstance.

He brings hope and healing, joy and praise out of the darkest of places and days.

So I paused… prayed, and this is what I wrote  with the free releasing of thought and words characteristic of Five Minute Friday.

START…

‘Joy’

Without sorrow, joy wouldn’t seem such a shining light

Without adversity, joy wouldn’t be so strong and bright

Through pain and problems My purposes are revealed

and in dark times joy lies hidden, concealed

Arising as bulbs to greet the Spring

joy sits silent and calm within

until the moment when it comes forth

to demonstrate its exceeding worth

I made no mistake when I named you Joy

It was no cruel trick or devious ploy

but a knowing that soon your life would show

how the joy of the Lord helped you to grow

Now you no longer rely on fickle feelings

as you scrabble around in life’s dirty dealings

for joy is found in darkness deep and it

seeps to the surface when you need it most

bubbling over like waves on the coast

Though feelings come and feelings go

joy can remain in a heart’s warm glow

from the embers of your burning pain

it brings hope of renewal time and again

©JoyLenton2014

 STOP.

cresting the waves joy poem pin image

Names matter because we matter. Regardless of our given name, we can learn to live free by faith in the saving name of Christ. 

We all have a name of meaning and worth:God calls us His ‘beloved child’; we are ‘honoured and precious in His sight’, the ‘apple of His eye’ and  so much more besides.

It can be hard to live a joyful life in the midst of adversity, but it’s in those very places that God draws extra close to us.

Happiness is fleeting as a butterfly alighting briefly on our shoulder then taking flight.

Joy is a deep-seated well of contentment ~ regardless of circumstances ~ where we rest internally in the saving grace of God.

And we can experience it in the midst of the most demanding of situations. It’s a supernatural gift and blessing. One to seek, treasure and pass on to others by way of sharing our experience of the Source of all Life, Joy and Peace Himself. 

My hope and prayer is that you may be filled with a greater measure of it in the week ahead. For, no matter how long the night may seem, “weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning” ~ Psalm 30:5. Each day can be a fresh start.

Joining with  Lisa-Jo and Mel

You are very welcome and warmly invited to join in.

Making space for not knowing

/ Joy Lenton / 19 Comments

Spiritual insight can hover light as butterfly in the air, fluttering gentle in the breeze, alighting soft on our senses.

Or nudge like a querulous child, becoming ever insistent.

Maybe it sparks bright, a lightning flash of inspiration.

However it strikes us ~ holy whisper or holy fire ~ we do well to pay attention.

Any reading of Scripture yields wisdom and insight as much as it throws curve balls.

We put on Holy Spirit lenses to help us focus on the meaning, application and practical outworking.

“What do we do with all the hard/weird stuff in the Bible?”  is the question being pondered over at Diana’s place this week. Do we ignore, refuse to ‘go there’, puzzle, pause, pray, or something else?

Some of how we answer it depends on our faith roots. I began my faith journey in a happy-clappy Pentecostal church, drifted into Baptist, kept a foot in Anglican, and spent many years in Independent Evangelical.

Over time, my ‘bible-thumping-in-your-face-are-you-saved?‘ days gave way to deeper reflection and grace. Made space for the ‘not knowing’ aspects of faith.

Now I am leaning toward the Contemplative and finding church is everywhere (TV and internet)  and nowhere in particular for me when housebound by M.E.

And in the letting go of fixed ideas, hungering after authenticity wherever I can find it, I find myself in a position of simply wanting to let go of too much concern about all I don’t understand.

The Bible is God’s great narrative, His story to draw us into relationship with Him ~ the whole purpose of it all.

The essence of Christian faith is faith in a Person ~ Father, Son and Holy Spirit. And people are complicated. So why shouldn’t God be even more so in the way He operates?

We can only move forward in faith, trudge wary of the weird stuff, trusting Him to reveal all He desires us to know in His own timing.

‘Trudge wary’

I tread timid, blind, in need of a Guide

I trudge wary, uncertain ~ with You by my side

And if You should choose to keep things concealed

it makes me appreciate all that’s revealed

There are treasures hidden in darkness deep

to be mined by those with eyes to seek

Challenge and certainty, joy and adversity

all wrapped up in Your word ~ to loose, set free

There are areas that puzzle, confuse and stretch our minds

and others of the straightforward, simple kind

For I still can barely comprehend

Your mercy and grace, love without end

So why should I, with great temerity,

expect You to reveal all things to me?

Should I not make room, give space

for the protective nature of Your grace

Allow for Your Spirit to open my eyes

in a gradual way ~ day after day

Knowing I can only handle so much

surprise, information, knowledge, as such?

©JoyLenton2014

God is always speaking. He is never silent. Sometimes we cannot hear Him above the chaos of the world or the noise of our own thoughts. Time taken to listen attentively is never time wasted. Much can be gained in the Quiet Place.

In essence:Although I’ll continue to wonder, ponder, question and seek answers, I also choose to rest easy in God’s great sovereignty. He alone knows how to encourage open-hearted investigation while making sure we receive all that is necessary for us to trust and believe and live well for Him.

 Joining here with friends:Diana, Mel and Lyli

Living with shadows

/ Joy Lenton / 30 Comments

This week I’ve had a wake-up call.

Ground has shifted beneath my feet.

Stirrings sit uneasy in my soul.

The life I thought I knew has become redefined.

As I reflected long and prayerfully on what my ‘love idol’ might be and the overcoming of it, some things have surprised me.

When you live in Shadowlands of sickness and pain, attempting to recover from a painful past,  it can be hard to see your way clearly. 

Now I have insight I wish I’d known about before.

God has pointed His finger at the familiar ~ people approval issues, insecurity, concerns about not being ‘enough’, putting other people and things before Him, spending too much time on social media ~ all painfully true.

Then another idea wove its way into my mind, threaded through my thoughts, and caused me to unravel.

How do I perceive myself? As a believer who is overcoming a challenging present and a painful past by the grace of God?

Or.. as an M.E and chronic illness sufferer who is still cloaked in shame, buried beneath pain, consumed by cares, ground down by the gritty reality of daily life?

A pit dweller, wilderness wanderer, valley-living soul longing to see daylight, scale mountain peaks, rest easy. 

Most of my days I aim to see glimmers of grace, maintain an attitude of gratitude, emphasise the positive.

But I still define myself as an ill person with problems ~ and that’s the problem. 

God is showing me I’m actually halting my own healing and preventing His full work in me by not seeing myself as I am in Christ.

I’ve stopped praying and saying out my healing in Christ. I’ve believed the lie that this is as good as it gets. I’ve made it my identity.

It’s become an idol because it steals my joy, inhibits faith growing, reminds me of where I came from rather than where I am going to.

And it has to stop.

‘Living with shadows’

A wrongly assumed identity

of living with shadows and infirmity

Christ calls me to believe I’m set free

unchained, unmarked, untainted, liberated,

whereas I see myself caught, ensnared,

decimated by childhood abuse, illness, M.E

As if I wore a label belonging to another

instead of one provided by my soul’s Lover

Living with pain and chronic illness over many years,

observing my career, hopes and dreams slip away

trickling with my tears as water down the drain

nothing quite the same, only weakness and fears

I’ve worn it as a shroud, death mask, daily dress

instead of clothing myself in His robe of righteousness

Feeling insecure, dis-abled, incapable

when God has gifts He wants to bestow

I’ve failed to receive and accept them all

while my thinking is focused on being unwell

We can only grow when we are willing enough

to let go of all that’s slowly killing us

©JoyLenton2014

I can’t deny the physical reality of my life; it’s effects are ever-present. Loosing and letting go of the idea of myself as chronically sick won’t be easy.

All the evidence is before my eyes. And the past is still pervading my days with its own anguish and pain. Abuse leaves a legacy, a scarring of soul, heart and mind ~ etched inky black stains. 

But I deny the spiritual reality unless I begin to call forth those things which are not yet as though they are.

Look into the mirror of His word and start seeing myself as healed, whole, restored, renewed. Speak out the promises. Live as though I truly believed them.

It won’t be easy. I’ve lived this inhibited, limited life with M.E for over 20 years. Lived far longer with the scars of my past. Yet I know nothing is impossible with God. And I’m ready (knees shaking, heart quaking) to do this.

Not to deny the reality I live with but to embrace the life Christ died to give me. 

Because when God won’t let something go, then neither should we. When He asks us to let go of something, we need to pay attention.

Those things He may be pointing to in your life? It could be time to #listentoyourlife and listen to His voice.

You too can join in with Jennifer and the Love Idol community as we seek to unearth our ‘Love Idol’, confess and address it.

I’ve been privileged to read a preview  of the first chapter of Jennifer’s  book. You can pre-order it here. And  for the free printable resources, click here.

I’ve also been greatly helped on my continuing journey toward healing from childhood sexual and emotional abuse by reading ‘Not Marked’ by Mary de Muth.

I’ll be writing more about where this journey is taking me in the weeks ahead and I’d love you to join me.

Through a glass darkly

/ Joy Lenton / 11 Comments

We see through a glass darkly.

A fairground hall of mirrors with shadows on the wall, distorted views.

Feet sinking into clay for those rooted to earth.

Easy to get stuck in the pit and lose The Way midst its miry depths. Feel the pinch as Master Potter re-shapes our clay form.

We cling to edges. Cry out in fear. Paste on clown smiles while bleeding on the inside.

For what is loss? What is gain? What or whom can be trusted with all the grief and pain?

Who has the upper hand when we’re all just kicking dust and sand?

Calamity calls and we cringe away, bewildered, running scared. Reluctant to face or embrace.

Until..

We remember One who ate dust as we do, choked on tears, felt pain within, without, gave and gave some more to secure our freedom and release from all that stings painful. 

He didn’t deserve to die. We don’t deserve His sacrifice. Bad things happen to good people. Sadly, this is a sinful, fallen world.

We live in an upside-down, here-but-not-here-yet Kingdom where we begin to accept the cloud of unknowing is part of belonging. 

And we look to the cross. Consider Calvary. Weep for the loss and rejoice in the resurrection. Marvel that His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts. 

All He asks is for us to lean on Him. Rest on His word. Seek strength and help in time of need. Find comfort and share it with others.

Meanwhile, we live with smoke and mirrors, with mystery and mayhem, with pain and with promise, with unanswered questions and faith.

One day all will be made clear. We will know even as we are known. For now? We trust and obey. Believe all sorrow, sadness, suffering and pain will come to an end and glory will come out of it all.

Prayer draws us nearer to God’s heart and there we find all the comfort and reassurance we need to keep us afloat. We begin to see an open door of hope through the painful places.

Though we may still emerge with unanswered questions, in the listening and leaning we learn to release the pressing need to know and rest in trusting all that we do understand.

God’s words to me a few months ago still hold good for today. I hope and pray they will bless you too.

Prayer Whisper:’Surrender’

“Remember that I am only a breath, a prayer away. I live within you by My Spirit. You have access to all My gifts because the greatest gift of all is Christ in you, the hope of glory. Deep in your spirit rests the Spirit of the Living Christ. All of His qualities and abilities are available to you by faith. Though He works through your human body, there are still no limits to what can be accomplished according to My will.

As you surrender more and more of yourself to Me, as you allow Me to take, make and break you, as you let Me work in and through you ~ then the possibilities are limitless, for I have no boundaries. Take your eyes off yourself and your circumstances and focus on Me. Do not allow yourself to become swamped and overwhelmed by the challenges before you. I am keeping you safe through every storm.

Rest in My provision for you. Despite how it seems, nothing shall in any way harm you. The quiet centre of your being where I reside is invulnerable. Seek Me. Seek the Quiet Place and you will become renewed, refreshed and restored for the journey ahead.”

“In returning and rest you shall be saved,” says God through the prophet Isaiah, “in quietness and confidence shall be your strength” (Isaiah 30:15). They are all parts of each other. We return to our deep strength and to the confidence that lies beneath all our misgiving. The quiet there, the rest, is beyond the reach of the world to disturb. It is how being saved sounds.” ~ Frederick Buechner ‘Whistling in the Dark’

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body” ~ 2 Corinthians 4:8-10

Joining here with friends :Diana, Mel and Laura

Choices

/ Joy Lenton / 17 Comments

Words flutter as birds in my head and I release them here.

Sometimes they fly free.

Other days they sit heavy on my shoulders.

Ears are tickled and nibbled.

Detritus is dropped and settling in occurs.

Until a gust of Holy Spirit wind encourages them gently forward.

And they take flight with wobbly wings of faith.

Such is today’s offering for Five Minute Friday where we write freely for 5 minutes on a given topic ~ no deep reflecting or editing, just poured out prose or poetry from the heart.

This week’s prompt is:’Choose’

START…

‘Choices’

Life isn’t as random as it may seem

when we sow our hopes, follow after our dreams

We have some say in who we become,

what we hear, see, read, take into our arms

I can choose to seek after my own way

or follow God’s path each and every day

I choose to seek love, mercy, God’s face,

as I relinquish rejection, shame and disgrace

I choose to pour my heart into this life

despite heavy challenges, struggles and strife

I choose to press hard into God’s best

and find peace as I relax into His rest

I choose to share my journey of healing

even though it’s painful, hard and revealing

I choose to stand up for what I know is right

and wade into those things worth the fight

I choose to give and give some more

in inspired poetic and prose outpour

To share my heart, my words, my dreams,

watch how God breathes His beauty and light

into all that seems out of reach, out of sight

©JoyLenton2014

 STOP.

“I am now giving you the choice between life and death, between God’s blessing and God’s curse, and I call heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Choose life.” ~ Deuteronomy 30:19

Joining here with Lisa-Jo Baker 

And with Jennifer as I too seek to give up (amongst other things) in this season of Lent: “the inner critic who bruises, the mirror that accuses, and the mental play-back that oozes with bad history” as part of releasing a heart indulgence ~ a ‘Love Idol’ creeping in and taking me away from loving God and loving others fully and freely.

Living freely

/ Joy Lenton / 15 Comments

Aren’t you relieved there are no identi-kit Christians?

We don’t have to look or sound alike.

Having unity together is more about fellowship and being united in love than having full agreement on more than the fundamentals of our faith.

We are allowed to be ourselves. See wood where others see trees. Sense Holy Spirit’s presence in a variety of ways.

God meets us right where we are, at our point of greatest need.

He chased me and wooed me with His unconditional Love.

It was something I’d never encountered before, but my empty, old before its time, desperate-child heart yearned for it.

Here was safety. Here lay security. Here flowed acceptance and peace.

And I came to faith in a ‘happy-clappy’ environment where joy and exuberance were the order of the day.

I wore ‘Jesus Loves Me/You’ stickers, a big grin, innocent optimism in sharing my new-found life in Christ, and a profound gratitude toward God for the glorious gift of salvation.

So I continued for a little while until mental health breakdown, partial recovery, followed by life’s multiple challenges, another breakdown and a haunting legacy of childhood abuse sucked all the joy out of life.

Depression and emotional pain skewed my thinking, clouded my judgement, and left me lost in the wilderness for many years.

Where did God feature? Was His love enough? Was it my fault?

A slow recovery took place and I had a fresh revelation of grace. I drank it deep into my very being as soul manna and sustenance.

But having begun my faith journey majoring on love and forgiveness, I was still largely ignorant of sin and reluctant to speak or think about it. This woman was already stained by her past, full of guilt, shame, self-recrimination and condemnation. And God loved her anyway. 

Because, wasn’t God a God of love? Didn’t grace and forgiveness cover all?

Oh yes.

Though grace is cheapened if we fail to fully appreciate the price Jesus paid to secure it for us.

Now, a little older (and wiser maybe?), though I still struggle with self-esteem issues and will always veer the conversation round to grace and encouragement than otherwise, it is gradually dawning on me how sin cannot be ignored or swept away.

And I am still getting my head around how to achieve the balance between hating sin yet not hating myself. Maybe you get stuck there too?

My soul seeks freedom from all that chained me and those things enslaving me now.

I want to embrace grace and be free to give it to others.

So I am leaning into His love as I think. question, talk about sin’s effects and outworkings, see how fallible and tainted I am and yet (marvellously) so dearly loved and cherished by our heavenly Father ~ just as you are too.

******

Here is a ‘Prayer Whisper’ which God poured into my listening heart last February. It still speaks volumes to me and I hope it will bless you too:

file000402181324“How easily you can fool yourself that you’re not sinning. To justify your actions with excuses and cover-ups.

Allow My Holy Light to shine upon your thoughts, words and deeds. Do not be afraid of its consuming power. It will not harm you.

I seek only to burn off the dross and detritus you carry. Such things weigh you down, sully your relationship with Me and sour your interactions with others.

I want to set you free, even from those burdens you have barely noticed as such ~ so familiar have they become.

It is only in the cleansing which follows letting go and laying down that real change and transformation can happen.

Bad habits pollute your mind and body. Once you are able to set them down before Me, you can begin the process of breaking free from them.

Open yourself. Be real before Me. I already know everything about you. Seek to live freely and lightly in the liberty of My Presence.

My purity and power are available to enable and equip you for the next stage of your journey.”

********

“The fact that God is love, that He is pure, holy and righteous is the reason why He is angry at sin. It violates, distorts, and destroys what His purpose is. Wrath is inevitable to a God of love, otherwise the love would be tenuous and weak” ~ Charles Price ‘My Daily Journey with Christ’ 

Joining here with Diana and other questing souls as we are #LivingtheQuestions and #LivingintotheAnswers

This week’s question:”What’s with all this talk about sin?”  You are very welcome to hop over and join in the discussion.

Also linking with Mel and Laura

It’s not about me

/ Joy Lenton / 11 Comments

It doesn’t take us long once we have become a Christian to see that there’s a huge obstacle blocking our progress in  the walk of faith ~ ourselves.

We have been accustomed to living an ego-driven-centric life, whether aware of it or not.

From infancy onwards, the soul is naturally set in gaining satisfaction from its needs being met.

We survive and thrive because of it.

But as believers in Christ we have a whole new set of values to live by.

Surrender and submission become the hallmark of a life given over to God.

It’s all about Him. His will and ways. His purposes being fulfilled.

Though God doesn’t seek to be in relationship with unthinking robots. He won’t gatecrash our thinking either.

We play our part in gradually opening up more of ourselves to Him, and He fills and floods more areas of our lives with His healing, restoring Presence.

All is made new ~ over time, testing and trials ~ as faith and trust are stretched and perseverance and wisdom grows.

Until we realise we prefer His ways to our ways and can see the wonder of a life enlivened by His Spirit.

I’m still learning after many years on this pathway. It can take a lifetime to become more like Jesus.

But it is so worth it if His beauty can be seen in you and me and shine out to bless and encourage others.

Because we’re never more truly ourselves (as He created us to be) than when we’re revealing His glory and grace in our lives.

‘All about me’

An insistent voice making a continual plea,

calling, “What about me, what about me?”

Deceptively soft, subdued, until clawing

its way through our resistance, drowning

out all, rising clear and loud,

shouting out, now strong and proud,

it appears deafening to our ears

Life can beat to its persistent drum, it’s

surging flow and constant thrum, or we

can choose to turn the volume low,

rendering things steady and slow

by a huge effort of the will, grit of teeth,

shake of head, and a defiant refusal

to pay attention to what is said

But our best efforts are rendered vain

when its piercing cry pounds relentless

as rain, and we can no longer ignore

all that it seeks to impart and implore,

and with much pushing and pressing succeeds

in driving us forward with undue speed ~

for ego is desperate to be top of the game

How can we learn to be less, not more,

and allow Holy Spirit’s voice to soar?

How do we submit when all inside

cries to be first and to override

those gentle whispers on the wind

from our most loving, faithful Friend?

I wish I knew…..how about you?

©JoyLenton2014

Joining here with Diana and other like-minded questioning souls as we ask:“What’s with this ‘more of Jesus and less of me stuff?'” And with fellow thoughtful sisters Lyli, Mel and Jennifer