It’s time to start again

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A blank space. Yawning gap. Untrod pathway. Virgin page.

How to fill it.

How to begin.

How to create again.

A mind can seize,  thoughts stall and falter at the first hurdle.

A break has been taken and getting back on the horse feels scary.

What if…

I fall flat on my face?

Slide into mud and slink away ashamed?

Only…

Here there is grace.

Here I can breathe soft and easy,  inhale deep of Holy Spirit inspiration and pour it out, exhale slow.

We canter into this race against the clock but we leave our reservations behind.

This isn’t about coming first or even putting on a good show. No perfectionist preening allowed. No ribbons, medals or honours given.

This is about being available. Showing up. Being ready to participate.

And I know the audience will be kind. Will cheer any effort to join in, even if I’ve been out of action for a while and limbs are stiff.

So here goes, five minutes of unedited, as it comes, straight from the heart to the page writing.

Are you ready for this slow runner, this outsider to start, to begin again?

‘Begin’

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Leave your yesterdays behind

rise bold into a dawning day

As sun tips its filtering rays

over the horizon and grace

drips long and slow into

every crack and crevice

this is opportunity…

To begin again

To be set free

Forgiveness covers all our sin

and hope and joy are found in Him

We’re slowed down, stalled,

stuck fast, sidetracked,

but will never claw

our yesteryears back

Let dreams be birthed

Let sighs escape

Let creativity be worth

the effort it may take

Scrap and crumple

scrimp and save

but get those words

down on a page

For they are barren

inside your head

and what’s been dreamt

should now be said

Give them life

ignore the pain

It’s time to write

Begin again…

©JoyLenton2014

Linking here with Lisa-Jo and all the other brave and beautiful writers for #fiveminutefriday You are very welcome to join in. 

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Forgetting and remembering

Evening rails

In taking a step back we often see the way to move forward.

Perspective and hindsight combine to reveal what lay concealed.

Sitting too close to something can make it overly familiar, a thing of dependency and routine.

And we forget what lies on the other side.

So it was for me with social media a few weeks ago. I became burnt-out, exhausted and yet afraid to loose the hold.

It took time (and increasing health and life challenges) to make me see that in desiring to be in the thick of things I was missing the most important thing of all ~ time to simply ‘be’.

In the drawing back I gradually regained a sense of the ‘normality’ that used to be there for me when I wasn’t so caught up in the being out there, heard and seen aspects of life.

It began with restlessness, then as I relaxed more there was profound fatigue and deep bone weariness to contend with, as if I was finally giving my body permission to let go instead of running on continual adrenaline.

Then the silence was filled with a greater measure of hearing from God as He held me in my weakness and pain, helping me see my worth and value are nothing to do with my productivity or the lack thereof.

As an M.E and chronic illness sufferer, being ‘busy’ for me looks like another person’s chilling-out time; but it was a huge change for me to stop those activities and drop all concern about blogging and having some kind of online presence.

Freed from all expectations or demands, writing became pure joy. Poetry and prayer whispers proliferated. Snippets sank into my mind when I was resting, and God encouraged me to release it all to Him without worry or fear.

And I discovered that it’s only in the letting go of all we hold tight to that we are free to fully enjoy it in the way God intends us to.

So I have been delving deeper into His word, praying longer, reading more books and poetry than before, spending quality time with loved ones and ‘in real life’ friends, and realising how shallow my life had become.

Now I want to remember what it’s like to touch reality rather than living a large part of my life in a ‘virtual’ world.

I want to remember how God’s opinion of me is the only one that really matters and I write primarily for an audience of One.

And I want to continue to forget about people-approval issues, performance, perfectionism or pressure, and just concentrate on resting in God’s Presence where I am already beloved, accepted and pre-approved ~ just as I am.

‘Forgetting’

I’d forgotten what it’s like

to lose myself completely

within pages of a book

where time ceases to exist

and eyes are deeply fixed

on drinking in the words

upon which my soul is hooked

I’d forgotten what it’s like

to pray with no clock-watching

allowing time to listen

wait patient for God to speak

within this hour, day and week

seeking nothing more or less

than drawing closer to Him

I’d forgotten what it’s like

to heed Holy Spirit’s voice

so close in the minutiae

or to savour the rhythmic flow

as each moment comes and goes

and He whispers soft and low

to inform and guide my day

©JoyLenton2014

Gift and grace as social media and blogging are to me, it has been good to learn there is life beyond the laptop.

You can read more about how this experience has affected me in this post on ‘Words of Joy’.

How about you? Have you considered unplugging or experienced relief from doing so, even for a short while?

Feel free to share your story in the comments below.

Linking here with Beth, Holley and Jennifer. You are very welcome to join in. 

book reader ~ Forgetting  poem PJ file image pin

The heat is on

The heat is on.

Time to seek some shade.

Find ways to stay cool, calm and collected.

I love the long, sunny days but I’m fazed and frazzled by heat-waves. Maybe you too?

It’s too hot to think straight, write eloquently (or much at all, truth be told) or be active in any way.

I’ve been taking a social media and blogging break which I desperately needed.

My health has been challenging for some time, with increased weakness, pain and fatigue, so rest and recuperation remain my top priority.

And as I recover some strength, pacing my ‘activities’ carefully, I want to just touch base with you as a way of making a gradual return to my usual routines.

I’m largely housebound with M.E and chronic illness, and going on holiday is a distant dream, but there’s no harm in taking myself there by the power of imagination.

Which is what I have done with the poetic summer snippets below that were written some time ago.

I share them now as a way to say “Hi. I’m still here”, even though I may be struggling with feeling further flattened by the heat and humidity we have now in the UK!

You are not forgotten and I miss our conversations here.

Hope the weather is suiting you, wherever you are, and you can make the most of warm, sunny days.

With blessings and love until we meet again. Xx 🙂

Come away with me beach poem pin image

‘Sunbathing’

Solid clumps of

people

sticking to

hot blades of

grass

The park abounds in

bodies

Frozen marrows of

idle

flesh which

blinks at frequent

intervals

They stir softly in

slumber

Deadened senses of

minds

groping after

clarity

focusing on nothing

Self-instincts admit

to ~ inactivity

©JoyLenton2014

bodies ~ sunbathing in the park poem pin image

Taking time out

PJ file image ~ Time for a break

This is a season to set free. Unplug. Let loose. Chill out. Relax.

The world’s weight can sit heavy. We can drown under its load.

We need room to breathe. Be still. Listen to the still small voice Who brings calm to our souls.

I haven’t been doing much of that lately and I sense a Holy Spirit nudge to make more space for God.

The poem below was written a few months ago but its sentiments are my heart’s cry now.

The important can so easily get swallowed up in the urgent.

Creativity can get stifled in clamour.

Peace can become stolen by pressing purposes.

Joy can feel elusive when we join in too much with all the activity around us and don’t allow time out for our soul’s sake.

I need time to ponder and pray.

A space to hear holy whispers.

Room to read.

Time to write with no specific end result in view, just for the sheer pleasure of penning poetry and prose.

Maybe you do too?

 ‘Today’

Today…

I cannot connect with the world

Its noise

drowns out His voice

Its chaos

collides with His calm

Its clamour

presses into His peace

Today…

I choose ease and rest

To breathe

His Divine essence

To begin

sensing His Presence

To listen

while seeking His best

Today…

We have choices we need to make

Would you

decide or decline

Could you

sift hard and refine

Will you

chase after God’s way ~ this day?

©JoyLenton2014

Linking here with Beth and friends for #ThreeWordWednesday

**NOTE** ~ As I seek more #spiritualwhitespace to listen to #SacredEchoes I am joining with like-minded souls over at Margaret Feinberg’s place this week.

To find out more about why I need this space, check out this post on ‘Words of Joy’.

I’m looking forward to catching up with you in a week or so.  Please grant grace for a delayed reply to any comments left here. Thank you!

May God bless you and meet with you in a special way as you follow after His heart this Summer.

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Lost and found

busyness ~ lost and found PJ

Something has got lost in our increasingly busy, frantic lives.

We’ve forgotten how to detach from activity.

Neglected to resist the lure of the urgent over the important.

Taking time out just to ‘be’, to pause and breathe slow is rare.

Hours spent hunched over screens is making us more concerned with what’s in front of us than what’s going on in our hearts.

How can we see the way ahead when eyes are glued downwards?

Maybe we need a break, to lose ourselves in the inner life instead of outer activity.

Read a book, rest, relax, pray perhaps.

Perhaps we’d hear echoes in our hearts, reminders of our need for God.

Listening could take the place of continual noise.

In the silence we encounter ourselves as we truly are.

And that can be alarming.

But we also allow space for God to enter in.

We find what our souls have always been looking and longing for.

And that can be life changing.

‘Lost and found’

Lost in busyness

occupation, activity,

endless toil, never at ease

Lost in despair

hopelessness, gloom, misery,

failing to see God can set us free

Lost in dreams

hopes, schemes and plans,

missing the best from His hands

Lost in sorrow

sadness, grief and pain,

He comes close to us again

Lost in ourselves

our lives, our world,

waiting for future to be unfurled

Lost and alone

in the midst of a crowd

voices sounding harsh and loud

Lost and found

when we release our cares

let go the burden of years

Lost in Love

when He calms our soul

comforts, cleanses, makes us whole

Lost in peace

we cease from anxiety, worry,

relax in His Presence

no rush, no hurry

©JoyLenton2014

Linking here with Lisa-Jo, Laura and Mel

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I will rise

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‘I will rise’

Some days..

part of me longs to break free

become unshackled from the earth

shake off dust, soil and toil

relinquish all but new birth

Maybe..

I will gather galaxies, bathe

in a sparkling sea of stars

or journey to other planets

visit Venus, Jupiter or Mars

stride unhindered over mountain peaks

sneak a view in a volcano or two

dive into indigo oceans deep

and climb pathways high and steep

One day..

these limbs will move and lift with ease

and pain will be a mystery

I will rise sky-high, out of sight,

as a balloon flies swift and

bright, then disappears from view

I may..

begin floating near eternal Light

my eyes watching years unravelling

like string, to pull me back

or draw me in, while I’m

travelling closer to You

©JoyLenton2014

“We know that when these bodies of ours are taken down like tents.. they will be replaced by resurrection bodies in heaven.. Sometimes we can hardly wait to move ~ and so we cry out in frustration… The Spirit of God whets our appetite by giving us a taste of what’s ahead. He puts a little of heaven in our hearts so that we’ll never settle for less” ~ 2 Corinthians 5:1-2, 4-5 (The Message)

Linking here with  Beth,  Holley and Jennifer. You are very welcome to join in.

balloon ~ i will rise file image pin

Aspects of hope

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One of the saddest things in life is to be so beaten down by our circumstances that we lose hope, albeit temporarily.

It is said that as long as there is life there is hope.

I believe we need hope to stir us into life. Aspects of hope to revive us.

Without it our dreams die, joy withers, apathy and resignation take the place of purposeful activity.

Our hope in God is not false comfort, or a misplaced yearning.

Rather, it is a courageous leap of faith where we believe in God’s impossibly wonderful grace and goodness, and discover that they are the surest thing possible.

Only God can bring beauty from ashes, joy out of adversity, and praise out of despair.

He shines His light in the darkest of places and overcomes the darkness. His Light will never be extinguished. It blazes hot into eternity.

All may look  gloomy and grim...but God… can change our attitude within.

We trust in His power to breathe life into what seems dead.

To help us to hang on when we are at the end of our rope.

All it takes is a flicker of faith to ignite a spark of hope out of hopelessness. 

So don’t lose heart or hope, my friend.

Turn to His word and receive the promises wrapped up in hope.

Come boldly before the throne of grace and be refueled and refreshed.

Lay down your weary head and let go of all that weighs heavy on you.

God is waiting to pour His love out on you and stir the embers of hope back into life again.

‘Hope’

Hope deferred

makes a heart sicken

countenance gloom, eyes dim,

mood of doom, no joy within,

shoulders sink, frame bending,

tears blink, misery descending

Hope heard

makes a heart quicken

chin lifting, quavery glow,

something is shifting we know,

a tiny flicker rises again

no candle-wick snuffed out by Him

Hope stirred

makes a heart begin

to survive onslaughts

and thrive against aught

devouring God’s word, we heed

its message believed and received

©JoyLenton2014

Linking here with Beth,  Holley and Jennifer

candlewick ~ aspects of hope PJ file image pin

Missing the Muse

cocktail ~ missing the muse file image PJ

Creativity of any kind is dependent upon a cocktail of inspiration, mystery, application, mastery and perspiration.

We shake the container on a daily basis hoping a refreshing drink will appear without too much effort.

Some days there is scarcely a drop to be found.

On others all flows free and easy and we lap it up quickly before it disappears.

Writing takes sheer grit and determination as much as gift and imagination. Showing up and shipping out is a given.

Though our family responsibilities and other commitments, plus health problems, can cause us to have to draw back for a while. And rest and relaxation are essential too to avoid burnout.

When there is a world of words at our disposal, then it seems a wonder when all is dry and stale inside as they hide and slide away from our grasp.

Though much can stir the creative juices and enhance its processes, there are just as many internal and external factors affecting the outcome.

The poem below was written a few months ago during one of those dry periods. I had tried a few things to help myself get into the mood to write, all to no avail.

Struggle and striving were not going to cut it. This was a day to give in to rest. My weary body and mind needed a break.

And then, as I lay on my bed aimlessly thinking of nothing much at all.. these words began to stir within. I grabbed my pen and paper and wrote them down.

I watched it form, marvelling in amazement as words gathered momentum and dropped onto the page, one by one.

Then heaved a huge sigh of relief before tucking it away in ‘draft’ form to save for a rainy day when it seemed right to release it.

It is no surprise to me that my best source of inspiration is Holy Spirit breathing thoughts into my head, encouraging me to take note of things seen, heard and said.

If I relied completely on my own efforts then I would fall flat on my face ~ Every Single Time.

Limited energy and poor health will only get you so far, even when a strong desire is present. I am so grateful to God for whispering words to inspire creative outpourings when I am flat on my back with an M.E relapse.

And it encourages me to turn all creative endeavours over to God’s will and ways as I pray for daily guidance, help and inspiration to write.

Then, having decided on a piece to use, I pray once more before pressing ‘publish’ that the post will speak to and be a blessing to those who read it.

For if I forget to do that then I’m not just in danger of missing the greatest Muse of all, but of missing the point of being a Christian poet and writer ~ to bring honour and glory to God through the works of my hands.

So here we go again. No perfection here, just one heart sharing with another. Enjoy!

‘One of those days’

Some days the Muse speaks low

in tones we strain to hear,

soft-spoken words that come

and quickly disappear

We know not where they flee

or go, as we stretch our body

in the chair and wriggle toes

We know not why thoughts

fly swift and quick

then scrambled up they get

snuffed out as candle wick

and prove elusive to

pin down, making hearts

sink and faces frown

Returning to our chair we sigh,

with snack, sandwich, drink

and chocolate close by

For brains need fuel

and food to function well

and do their bit ~ and we

need all the help that we can get

Inspiration comes in myriad ways

we console ourselves, and return

our gaze to window watching, TV

viewing, social media screening,

all renewing sudden interest in

life calling loud in all around

when every creative thought lies bound

Best to get some exercise

with fingers lying idle, so we rise

and seek another occupation for a while

to entertain our weary minds, until we find,

relaxed at ease, thoughts surge and flood

the brain ~ quick! ~ get them down

before they stop and shut up shop again

©JoyLenton2013

missing the muse PJ file image pin

Earth, wind and fire

As we mark the occasion of Pentecost, I am considering the varied ways in which Holy Spirit makes Himself known to us.

He gives us life and breath.

Initiates our new birth.

Provides all we need during life on earth.

Sustains us through to mortal death.

He hovers over all, anoints, equips and saves.

The author of our life ~  keeper of our days.

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters” ~ Genesis 1:1-2

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“Do you not say, ‘Four months more and then the harvest?’ I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest” ~ John 4:35

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“When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. They saw what appeared to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them” ~ Acts2:1-4

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You need hands

hands ~ FMF PJ file image 1

Hands can reveal so much about a person.

Their age, gender,  ethnicity, relationship status, occupation, even potential or actual health problems.

Mine shout out that I’m a woman of mature years with joint distortion caused by arthritis (amongst other things).

I would love to have plump, smooth, pretty, ultra feminine hands… sigh. 😦

But, much as  the circumstances of my life affect my body in general, they are also apparent on my hands.

When I was a child I caught my thumb in a mangle and the nail has been bent ever since.

When I worked as a nurse, I washed and washed these hands multiple times over the years, used antiseptic gel, alcohol wipes, and wore rubber gloves.

All of which contributed to the dryness and aging-before-their-time appearance.

It means I conceal rather than reveal. Hide them in my lap. Feel like they belong to someone else, someone older.

They are partly alien to me. I gaze at them with bewilderment some days. How did they get like this? I may be a grandma now but I dislike looking like one!

Yet they could also suggest a practical person who has used her hands, cared for others,  been busy, worked hard, not been afraid to do dirty tasks or chip a nail. 

These days, I can do very little in the practical daily living tasks, beyond basic self care. I need help to keep house and home together.

I am so grateful to be able to scrawl, write, type (albeit badly and slowly) and put these weary, worn, stiff and painful hands to some use again.

And as I reflect upon my changing hands and changed life, I remember hands scarred and rendered helpless, yet ones that transformed my life and eternal destiny, just as they can do for you.

‘Hands’

Hands conceal, reveal, plunder and steal,

reach out and take, gesticulate,

touch tender, become shield and defender,

hug, hold close, achieve the most

They can make, break, defile, wound and stain,

cause harm, alarm, revulsion and pain

Hands pierced fierce to a cross of wood

are the ones that treat us as they should

Arms of Love nailed to a tree

securing mercy, forgiveness and victory

Hands that gentle, soothe and hold

us closer than any brazen and bold

These hands scarred forever by the cross

will never cause us hurt or loss

They reach out across time and eternity

offering help, hope, healing to you and me

comfort, consolation, joy from despair,

goodness and grace seeping everywhere

They are the loving hands of God

welcoming us to the path He trod

Come, take His hand

Come, walk His path

Come, be held safe

through your time on earth

©JoyLenton2014

Linking here with Lisa-Jo for #fiveminutefriday This week’s prompt is:’hands’  You are very welcome and warmly invited to join in. Also joining with Mel and Laura 

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