grace

Getting ready to dance

/ Joy Lenton / 17 Comments

getting ready to dance PJ

There are times when I’d love to be able to dance again.

I miss being able to move freely.

To have a co-operative, healthy body with energy buzzing through me.

The last time I attempted to dance was at a wedding, ironically to Abba’s ‘Dancing Queen’.

It was more of a one-song-wonder than anything else and I couldn’t quite put my all into it either.

Little did I know it would be my swansong as a dancer.

I’m not trained or gifted in any way, but I’ve always enjoyed dancing and took it for granted that I always would.

What followed was a serious relapse in my previously moderate M.E symptoms, rendering them severe by overdoing things.

It was many years ago. I’ve not been able to dance since.

I watch and I smile when others do, and I say it’s okay because I’m dancing on the inside.

Yet one day I know I will dance for real. Be held by and hold onto my soul’s Lover.

I’ll be ready, willing and able to move freely again.

Here’s my five-minute-friday way of dancing with words..

Ready to dance

I’m a pale wallflower

hiding in the corner

Biding my time watching

the way others dance and sway

My feet have forgotten

how to dance, but still

they tap lightly to the beat

My body too weary to move

I fail to get into the groove

Who would want to dance

you see, with a woman bent

and bowed by having M.E?

flower

And then I see You

standing there with a

look at once safe and

loving, so familiar

You smile and reach out

for my reluctant hand

as I wobble up and finally

stand, looking only into

Your face as you bring me

close into a warm embrace

ca. 2003 --- Hand Reaching --- Image by © Royalty-Free/Corbis

Whispering endearments

to my hurting heart,

saying this is only the very

start of a lifetime journey

You are bringing me to

where I’ll run and

I’ll skip and I’ll

laugh with joy, and

I’ll always get to

dance with you

girl dancing

We move to the gentle

rhythm of Your grace

and I sense a loosening

in my soul, a warm

flush rising to my face

as energy unknown flows

and rushes through

this body of mine, now

made complete and whole

©JoyLenton2015

You’re warmly invited to join in with the regular #FMF word dance going on at Kate Motaung’s place.

We skate around perfection, move to the beat of our clocks as we write freely for five minutes – I went over a little here.

Just bring your words and join in the fun. We’d love to see you there. 🙂

Riding the waves

/ Joy Lenton / 9 Comments

riding the waves PJ

Riding the waves

When waves threaten to overwhelm

seal my cells in the security

of Your safe embrace

Remind me that life’s storms

cannot completely swallow me

I belong to a different shore

A Kingdom of peace prevailing

where joy is the sound

that roars, deafening in its

clarity. For nothing there

can sink us, only draw us

closer to Your trinity

So as these waves of worry

encompass me today

and waves of uncertainty

try to have their way,

keep me anchored in Hope

held fast against the Rock

sheltered from the storms

battering and bruising my heart

Render me ready to meet

life’s waves with equanimity

And steady myself in Your grace

while they rise higher day by day

May I see only Light’s beacon

burning bright ahead

and rest in tender waves

of Love rushing toward

me as Lifebelt holding me

close in their stead

©JoyLenton2015

riding the waves PJ poem

This is day 21 of write-31-days five-minute-free-writes with the prompt:‘wave’. You can see the rest of the prompts here. I am also joining in with fellow writing friends at Jennifer’s place for #TellHisStory and with Holley for #coffeeforyourheart as we share God’s grace seen in His hand on our lives.

Thank you for being here and at Words of Joy where most of the posts have been written this month.

I am so thankful for your company and support!

Shades of purple

/ Joy Lenton / 8 Comments

shades of purple

Life is a rich variety of colours, shading dark to light, dull to bright.

And we experience the same as emotions of joy and pleasure soon seep into sadness and pain.

When we live with invisible illness, like Fibromyalgia, M.E and Arthritis, it can be hard for others to appreciate the way it colours our outlook and darkens days with its brooding presence.

I love the colour purple, and because it is also the shade chosen to represent Fibromyalgia awareness, I have an even closer affinity with it.

The butterfly symbol reminds me that I can float free of my circumstances as I seek treatment and help, support and relief.

When I rest in God’s healing powers and soothing waters of grace, my mind and body are more at peace.

He binds up our wounds, grants us grace to live with pain and to sense His presence in our darkest times.

BUTTERFLY symbol for Fibro

Shades of Purple

Ringed black and blue

visible wounding

heavy bruised stain

seeping into skin

with tender, throbbing pain

But you wound internal

pulsating deep

Fibro fingers

prodding, poking, pain

that always lingers

Morning stiff

to greet the dawn

making body stumble

movement slow

with risk of tumble

Purple prose

swallowed down

as limbs grind painful

muscles sore, gait unsteady,

awkward, shameful

Echoes of dark

bleeding out of day

escorting in the night

with sleep-elusive sigh

as body seizes tight

Purple-coloured robes

draping royal and holy

a mantle of love

covering aches and pains

with grace from above

Shades of purple

tinged with layers of faith,

bringing strength and healing

as God’s heavenly light

shines with Hope revealing

©JoyLenton2013

**NOTE** –  Sadly, my weary brain wouldn’t co-operate and let me write a new poem today, therefore I’ve chosen one which originally appeared in a Words of Joy post.

But as it was written in just over five minutes it seems a suitable one to choose for today’s #write31days and #fiveminutefreewrites prompt:‘purple’.  The rest of the prompts for October can be found here. You can also catch up with more of  these posts at my Words of Joy site.

shades of purple PJ pin

Having an autumnal heart

/ Joy Lenton / 10 Comments

autumnal bench

Leaves are singing their swansong, a drifting dance of death as they fall to ground.

Some float freely, still retaining some buoyancy and remnants of yellowing life.

Others scatter on the wind as crisped golden-russet confetti flakes.

Fit only to be trodden on, while we wait for bridal snow to appear as winter hovers on the threshold.

And my soul sits heavy some days, a slow dying on the inside whenever M.E fatigue droops me to bed, reddens these eyes and forces a body to lean into rest.

Oh how I need enlivening on days when the spark seems missing! Maybe you do too, my friend? Let’s pray…

Dear Lord,

I feel autumnal dry, parched on the inside.

Begin with my heart. Set it on fire with your enlivening spark.

Let it take root there, at the centre of all things, deep in my soul where you make me whole.

Fan into flame my feeble frame. Stir this dust into something more than ashes.

Give a kiss of life to my lethargic mind.

Sweep out the cobwebs. Make room for a shift in perspective.

Teach my soul to sing a new song. Ready me to receive renewed joy of my salvation.

And whisper close. Hold me as I muse on these muddy, maladroit days.

Remind me that Love is always with me; I only need to see and open my heart to receive it.

Then let me be seated, at rest in Love’s embrace.

Wait to be filled to overflowing until I am ready to be poured out again.

Thank you.

Amen.

A vessel to be filled

Lord Jesus come,

to my autumnal heart

I need your Love

Without it I wither,

curl up small and die

on the inside

crumble, fall apart

My light and life weaken

without the infilling and

spilling – I desperately need

restoration by radiance

Flood my being with

searing heat of grace

the fierce warm fire

of your Love’s embrace

Here I stand with

aching, empty hands

ready and willing

to accept and receive

A vessel to be filled

then give out freely and

help others to believe

©JoyLenton2015

Linking here with Holley at Coffee for Your Heart and Jennifer at Tell His Story

autumnal heart prayer pin

Seeking and finding

/ Joy Lenton / 15 Comments

seeking and finding PJ

As I’ve sought to relax into relationship recently by spending quality time with my family, it has been a period of great pleasure,  joy and excitement mingled with adjustment and adaptation.

Because we’re all works-in-progress who change with life’s circumstances, alter with the different seasons we are in.

I have also discovered how easy it is to lose sight of God when our lives are full of other people and other things.

We can forget that God is a relentless Lover of our souls. He craves our company, relishes relationship.

He is continually knocking at the door of our heart to seek admittance, hoping we will allow Him in.

Being with other people is exhilarating and exhausting, often both at the same time.

People are unpredictable, driven by their own inner needs, emotions and desires.

We all have the capacity to disappoint and let one another down, or cause worry and concern.

We need to withdraw sometimes to rest, recover and refuel. Being with God in the silence is a great way to unwind.

Communing with Him is beneficial to body, soul and mind. God is consistent, true to His word.

He will never leave us feeling weary or depleted; on the contrary, God will renew and revitalise us by His presence.

His grace is sufficient for our every need; He restores and remakes us.

I know I cannot do life alone. I depend on God for all the energy, strength and wisdom I need to see me through each day.

My life is all the poorer if I neglect to seek Him during the mundane moments, look for Him in everyone and everything.

We can relax into relationship with Him because He is faithful, loves us unconditionally and always has our best interests at heart.

I’m joining in with fellow wordsmith friends for five-minute-friday as we write from the heart without worrying about perfection. Today’s prompt is:‘Find’.  Do come on over and read the great posts at Kate Motaung’s place. You’re warmly invited to join in with this wonderful writing community.

START…

Finding you

You are in cuckoo’s early morning cry

Breathed out in birdsong from on high

Filtering through the fingers of a new day

Soft streaming light with dawn’s bright rays

Inviting me to pull back the curtain

Arise now, let go and unfurl,

let you into my inner world

I hear you in swish-bend of trees

Sense Holy Spirit whispers on the breeze

Feel your footsteps tender tread

on the stairs of my hollow heart

Hear your voice echoing everywhere

as I begin to make a fresh start

You are the soul solace I seek

You are seeping joy

found in darkness deep

You are treasure mined on earth

You are Life, creativity,

energy, wholeness, new birth

Lord, let me find you here today

Make me receptive in every way

Waken my senses

Alert me to presence

Because you always long to be found

and your radiance shines all around

And when I finally

find myself in you

I see Love threaded through

because you offer only the best

So I exhale my deep-bone weariness

reach out thankful to receive

soul refreshment, grace and rest

©JoyLenton2015

STOP.

“But if from there you will seek (inquire for and require as necessity) the Lord your God, you will find Him if you truly seek Him with all your heart (and mind) and soul and life” ~ Deuteronomy 4:29

When you feel small

/ Joy Lenton / 12 Comments

when you feel small PJ

There are days where we feel so insignificant, invisible even.

It seems as if we blend into the air around, lost in the ether.

Our voices feel weak as tiny bird. Our words fall flat on ears deaf to their sound.

Our place in the here and now looks insubstantial, shaky and small.

It feels like we’re hardly here at all.

Do you have days like that? I do. 

They are red flags to what’s going on inside of us. Warning signs to heed.

They are white flags of surrender. Cries for help beyond ourselves.

Because God becomes our only safe shelter in a world where we feel less than all He made us to be.

He knows the vagaries of the human heart. He listens to every beat it makes. Hears the inner laments and anguish of a soul in torment.

And His Father-heart cries over the cruelty of a world that scorns His Son and tears His children apart.

Because He knows how wearied we can become and how we are made for far more than this world offers.

I’m thankful for those who see, who hear, who listen, who respond and make me feel I have a voice, a tiny place of worth in the scheme of things.

But I’m grateful most of all for the unending, unconditional love of God who helps me to become all that I can be by His grace.

There are no losers, no left out people, no invisible or discarded ones in God’s Kingdom. We are people of great worth and value in His eyes.

We are the grace dwellers, the truth tellers, the anointed, redeemed, blood-bought children He loves beyond measure.

Yes, here.. and now, living in this upside-down kingdom, topsy-turvy world we’re in, we are very significant to Him.

Here

We live in a world addicted to gain

to ascending the summit of success

to amassing, collecting largesse

And yet you call me to dwell here

abide in quiet shadows of surrender

where I sense the humiliation

of my life so small against

the largeness of your love

Here I am nothing, yet remain

everything to you; my emptiness

the reason for your pouring,

filling, overflowing measure

of grace into every dark

and empty space inside my heart

Because your love leads me into

encounter, renewal, fresh start

©JoyLenton2015

When you feel small in the eyes of the world, remember Whose you are, my friend. Such thoughts stirred the  5 minute poem above.

I’m blessed to be joining in with the wonderful writing community that comprises Five Minute Friday. Today’s prompt is:‘Here’. Kate Motaung is our gracious hostess.

You’re very welcome to come and join us at her place as we celebrate the first anniversary of her time hosting this link up.

Also adding to the soul refreshment being served over at Bonnie Gray’s place for Beloved Brews. Do come over and take a fuel stop there.. 🙂

encounter PJ pin

 

When we need to accept help

/ Joy Lenton / 6 Comments

helping hand PJ FMF

How hard it can be for us to realise we are helpless in some areas.

Human effort will only get us so far, as will natural talent and abilities.

Yet we so often strive to succeed by ourselves, not seeing our need of help or wanting any assistance.

Independence is a good thing on the whole, but a degree of dependence is also a sign that we’re aware of our own limitations.

We can see how the gifting in others enriches us and there is grace in accepting assistance and support.

We begin to accept that we need other people. Together we achieve so much more. United we are stronger.

Because eventually we’ll reach an impasse. A point of no return where we cannot do a thing except trust in another.

See our need and willingly (or grudgingly?) receive.

We’re wired to exist within community and live mindful of each other’s needs.

And some things in life are completely beyond us. Maybe you can think of a few?

In my life with M.E and chronic illness I’ve learnt to be gratefully dependent on those who assist me with daily living tasks.

In my writing life I’m completely dependent on Holy Spirit inspiration, grace, gifting and energy.

In my spiritual life I responded to what God had already done in Christ, seeing my impotence to save or change myself.

The poem below is my five-minute-friday contribution as I join others who write brave and free in a supportive community. You’re very welcome to join us over at Kate Motaung’s place. Today’s prompt is ‘Try’.

Also linking with Barbie at The Weekend Brew.. do drop in for some soul refreshment.

START…

You don’t have to

You don’t have to try to curry

favour with a risen Saviour

You already are His glory treasure

and He loves you beyond measure

It’s not your effort that will gain

you a seat in heavenly places

Jesus bore the cross and shame

so that forgiveness would embrace us

You don’t have to worry

as you go about your days

There’s no peace in stress and hurry

only in following His ways

You don’t need to do a thing

beyond believe in Him

and see how His sacrifice

offers us a renewed life

Rest easy, my friend

Seek the wonder of salvation

and eternity without end

for every person, tribe and nation

Relax and sense the flow

of His holy joy within

as you surrender and let go

trusting your life to Him

©JoyLenton2015

STOP.

flow PJ FMF pin

What to do when you scramble for words

/ Joy Lenton / Leave a comment

bleak tree PJ file

Whether speaking or writing, we can soon come across an inability to find the precise words we want to share.

The stream dries up; all seems lifeless. We find ourselves parched, staring at barren ground and bare bones, our thoughts like twisted twigs.

The Muse seems elusive and unkind some days, or so we say – although she is really a mere figment in our minds.

A reason to hang our excuses upon as we scramble around for words vanishing in the ether.

Inspiration deserts us and we hover over paper or PC with fingers itching to release… only to come up empty.

What do we do when words drift away?

I’ve found that resting, relaxing and praying help enormously.

All inspiration is God-given and a gift of grace.

Because some days? Some days we’re too plumb tired to plumb the depths to extract the exact words we want.

So we pretend not to care for a while, switch off, engage ourselves with new pursuits, or give in to the need to pull back, seek some spiritual whitespace.

And in the quiet contemplation, in the resting in God’s presence, in the slowing down and stressing less we find we can tap into the Source of Life Himself and He begins to fill and flood our minds with lively thoughts once more.

Maybe a seeping through, a slow filter, a line or two, but then it begins to flow again.

We can breathe easy. Speak, write and type as God directs, comfortable in His provision and timing.

Because words will rise easy when God decides they need to and they’re ready to share.

Our part is to stay expectant, listen to our lives and all they are saying to us, listen for God’s voice and remain open to inspiration.

Then my friends, we give thanks, we speak, we write, we pour out our offering and we trust God to use it as He wills.

And we remember that God has an inexhaustible supply of words He desires to impart to waiting hearts.

Last night I was considering why I hadn’t written much poetry recently. There are lots of good and obvious reasons why my mind has needed a rest, not least that I’m currently staying with family.

Then a line or two insinuated itself into my mind, and this is how it ended up…

Cajoling Poetry

Poetry can act capriciously

especially if we try

to pack her into a

little rhyme or two,

or wrestle words onto

a page, she’s apt to fly

into a sullen rage

Although she has been known

to demur when called upon

to assist us in a song

And will indeed, sometimes,

be cajoled into a line

which, for better or worse,

becomes joined into a verse

And even though poetry

will not easily or

willingly bend the knee to me

or resists staying around

when I try to pin her down,

I find if I keep an open door

and open mind, she will return

with an offering – or more

©JoyLenton2015

cajoling poetry pin PJ

Being set free

/ Joy Lenton / 8 Comments

being set free PJ pin

Life has a way of wrapping tentacles around our hearts. Finding a weak spot and pressing painful.

Tormenting our thoughts, suffocating our spirits. It sucks life, drains energy, depletes and discourages if we let it.

It doesn’t take much for me to feel tipped sideways sometimes and wonder how in the world it happened.

Those are times when feelings overwhelm, fear sneaks in, comparison captivates our souls and we become weighed down by earthly concerns.

Feel the pressures mounting and feel ourselves drowning.

And we will sink unless we remember we have a Lord who walks on water, lives lightly and freely, calmly and peacefully, and wants us to do the same.

Impossible? It sounds like it if we see things only from a human perspective.

But when we reach the end of our fraying rope we find God is already waiting to lift us up, to heal and set us free.

Because rescuing lost and lonely souls, restoring and healing broken, bleeding, damaged and drained people is what He does best.

Because grace is new every morning and so are His forgiveness and mercy. A fresh start is available today to you and me.

When surrendered to God, our hearts, minds and lives are continually being set free from all that enslaves and entraps us, even if we fail to fully see or appreciate it.

Such thoughts were already in my mind today as I reeled from a restless night where fear and anxiety had sought to get the better of me.

And so I couldn’t help but smile when I saw today’s Five Minute Friday prompt was:‘Free’. 

How could I resist?…

START…

Set free

Some days I don’t feel free at all

ensnared as I am, entrapped

by my thoughts and caught

in the permanent tug of worldly

concerns with their tempting thrall

Some days I forget I’ve been

released by grace, set free by

mercy to become more fully me

given a new heart, redeemed

life and new identity in Christ

Today I feel like wounded bird

held tender in Your hands

cradled soft and comforted

as I shiver and shake my wings

afraid to leave Your fingers

Now I sense them unfurling

yet still curling warm into

my feeble frame, and I hear

Your voice whisper my name

as You remain ever near

I don’t feel ready for letting go

There’s so much pain I still

don’t understand how to embrace

But You breathe out Your love

say “I am enough” as You release

me into Your current of grace

©JoyLenton2015

STOP.

I’m connecting today with the wonderful wordsmith community over at Kate Motaung’s place where we write bold and free on a weekly theme. Come join us?

bird being set free PJ

Reflections of grace

/ Joy Lenton / 8 Comments

sunset reflection

Even as we live out our unexceptional, hum-drum, wondrous lives we are reflections of God’s grace, mirrors of His glory.

It’s an awesome calling for every blood-bought son and daughter.

And an amazing privilege.

Most of the time we’re oblivious to the impact we have on others, unaware of  how much God may be using us to be light and salt in a needy world.

Perhaps that’s just as well.

Pride lurks close to our hearts and would have a field day if it saw the quiet, unseen influence we are having.

But the wonder of it all is how our dim light still reflects God’s glory, seen best in our faulty and flawed brokenness, our wounded lives.

He pours out of whatever crack or crevice we provide.

The more we feel unworthy, the more we are prospective channels of grace.

A willing, receptive heart is all He asks for.

A surrendered spirit.

A set apart soul.

And in all the 40 years I’ve been married to my beloved, I have seen him mirror God’s love to me time without number.

Because he loves as openly and unconditionally as any man can.

He always believes for the best, hopes for better, forgives me over and over again.

Sees portent of promise and potential in me long before it creeps into my consciousness or actions.

He makes allowances for all I am and breathing space for all I’m still becoming.

I still struggle to see myself as he sees me, rather as I so often fail to see myself as I fully am In Christ.

But I’m learning – to accept his love, believe in his (somewhat biased) perspective and relax into its promise.

The poem below appears in the anniversary card I’ll be giving to him this Sunday morning.

Reflections

In your eyes I see

reflections of all

I truly long to be

A woman of wisdom

A thing of joy and beauty

A person of great worth

And in our marriage unity

we reflect the complexity

of the 3 strand cord

A blessed trinity

A depth of love

A mirroring of God

Earth stands in awe

of holy intimacy

©JoyLenton2015

reflections poem pin PJ