Poetry

Mosaic of a marriage

/ Joy Lenton / 6 Comments

mosaic image for PJ mosaic of a marriage

 

Nobody can fully appreciate or understand the dynamics, anatomy and intricacies of a marriage, apart from the couple intimately involved in it.

And even then, much remains a holy mystery.

We are husband and wife, friends and lovers joined together in union and communion with God and one another.

Two become one in mind, body, soul and spirit in a divine alchemy of grace.

My marriage is heavily grace-dependent.

My background, experiences and personal problems have gradually made me someone other than the relatively carefree young woman I used to be.

As I’ve tried to work through a legacy of dysfunctional family life, childhood abuse, guilt and shame, (and the mental health breakdown they gave me) the one linked inextricably with me has also lived through it all.

Now, after more than 20 years of having M.E and chronic illness, my ability to be the wife he needs and wants is hampered further still.

Though we have struggled a great deal (and continue to do so), some things shine out bright and clear as I look back over the years:

Love will always find a way where there seems to be no way.

Faith can endure all things if it’s faith rooted in God and His sustaining power.

Hope may wither but it rarely dies.

Joy comes in unexpected places and circumstances.

Grace is a prerequisite for a godly life and marriage.

God gives us all we’ll ever need ~ even if we rarely have all we want.

In musing on these things over the last few days it is no great surprise that my mind turned to this territory to write about today.

And as I do so, I rejoice over the masterpiece God is creating out of the messy mosaic of my life and marriage.

‘Mosaic of a marriage’

Nothing in our courtship could have prepared

our youthful, hopeful, joy-filled hearts

for the prolonged grief and pain we’ve shared

or the need for so many fresh starts

Nothing in my mind could have foreseen

how very hard and challenging

living with me would have been

more your worst nightmare than dream

For we have been tried and tested

as gold goes through the fire

refined, processed and sifted

retaining heat, passion and desire

Nothing I can say will make up

for numerous ways I’ve let you down

You’ve had a bitter pill to swallow

gaining a face wreathed with frowns

But we, who are nothing without

the sustaining power of God

have finally made Something

of this life and path we’ve trod

Given grace from the One

who pours out His love every day

Given faith to persevere

when nothing’s gone our way

So I love you imperfectly

just as I am

and you’ve accepted my offering

a meagre nothing to the feelings

found within my man

Thank God for new beginnings

Praise Him for being true

Give Him the glory for making

faithful, if faltering, lovers

out of me and you

©JoyLenton2014

Joining with Lisa-Jo for #fiveminutefriday (yes, I ran over time!) ~ this week’s prompt is:‘Nothing’. You are very welcome and warmly invited to join in. Linking also with Mel and Laura

You can read more about how the issues above have affected my marriage in this post from Words of Joy.

I share openly in the hope of encouraging others to know they can live with and rise above their circumstances by the grace of God.

mosaic of a marriage file image on PJ pin

In the furnace

/ Joy Lenton / 7 Comments

fiery furnace file image for PJ

‘In the furnace’

My faith feels tarnished, stained,

edges worn, rust ingrained

No walking on water for me ~

I’m sinking in seas of adversity

Years of being at the end

of a fragile, fraying rope

leave us dangling, uncertain,

with bruised hearts, dashed hope

What began shiny, new

penny-bright, has faded

into fog, misted out of view,

jaded, gone from sense and sight

Yet, be it weak, small as

mustard seed to be sown

our faith does not depend

on ourselves or strength alone

Nor is it stretched by being

untested over time and years

or lost, unseen, when eyes

blur and swim with tears

Time spent in The Refiner’s fire

is to purify, burn off dross

from flawed motives and desires

we have counted as loss

We enter defiled, soiled as dust,

fragile, worn out and feeling old

We emerge, unmarred, unscarred by rust

renewed, restored ~ come forth as gold

©JoyLenton2014

“In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials, these have come so that your faith ~ of greater worth than gold , which perishes even though refined by fire ~ may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honour when Jesus Christ is revealed” ~ 1Peter1:6 -7 

Dear Lord,

Even as we squirm and resist the fiery furnace of affliction, help us to remain until your work is complete in us.

As sickness, pain and problems weigh heavy, enable us to withstand the heat they bring and to see your hand in everything.

May we learn patience, endurance and trust as our faith gets stretched beyond our ability to cope.

For when we’re left dangling at the end of our rope, we are never as alone as we may feel.

Your arms are always ready to reach out, lift and support, carry and hold us, provide rest and respite, strength to go on.

May we be reassured by your continual loving presence and willing to say ~  have your way in me.

Amen

Joining here with Nacole, Holley and Jennifer

as gold ~ In the furnace poem image pin

Closer than a prayer

/ Joy Lenton / 8 Comments

father and child ~ trust him image

‘Close’

Sometimes I..

feel quite lost, isolated and alone

despite having a loving husband,

family and friends to call my own

Deep down there is a space, a place

no one can really fill, where

tears are cried and often spill

Because we..

are built for sharing and community

yet feel afraid of others knowing

the ugly truth and full reality

of who we are and how we feel

inside, so we tend to pull and

shy away, conceal and hide

But you..

have a way of penetrating

the deep recesses of our heart

seeing all we are and can be,

understanding every part

Coming closer than a whispered prayer,

a breath exhaled, as you draw near

So please..

be here and

stay close to me

just as you have promised

you will be

©JoyLenton2014

 Linking here with Lisa-Jo, Lyli and Mel

close poem ~ heart image pin

Surrender to Sabbath

/ Joy Lenton / 9 Comments

Joy ~ at Ditchingham

‘Sabbath’

How do you further rest

a body constrained, confined?

How can I still continual thoughts

racing through a brain-fogged mind?

My life lived slow as slow can be

due to chronic illness and M.E

It’s work sometimes to rise from bed

converse, listen to words being said

Yet I know space must be found

a clearing, sacred holy ground

Time as sacrificial offering

willingly yielded up to Him

A stilling of body, mind and soul

where brokenness can be made whole

Bringing the shards of a fractured life

laying down anxiety, worry and strife

So here I am, Lord, on this day

to freely give myself away

knowing You see my open heart

and lovingly care for every part

Desiring to enter a Sabbath rest

and live my life as You see best

I’m eager to listen and to hear

Lord, won’t You please draw near?

©JoyLenton2014

Grateful for words flowing today after a break where health has been more challenging than usual.

Linking with Jennifer Dukes Lee at The High Calling to share Sabbath stories. You are warmly invited to join in.

sabbath pixlar image pin

Where we see holes

/ Joy Lenton / 3 Comments

holes ~ tankaHow do you see your life?

Maybe, like mine, it’s full of holes.

Areas of unfulfilled plans, uncertainty, pain and turmoil sit side by side with love, laughter and joy from above.

And those messed up places look like empty, wasted spaces in what could be a full and flourishing patch.

Garden grown crazy, weed-ridden. Can’t see the wood for the trees.

Only.. Light has a way of seeping through, turning fallowed into hallowed ground.

Bringing beauty out of ashes. Joy from despair.

Grace-occupied space is never wasted.

Here lies hope, potential, holy ground.

New life to come from the old.

A making way for growth and harvest in due time.

Let’s see it and believe it. Trust our days and ways to God.

Look for colour and brightness in the darkest of spaces.

See its fronds filtering through. Realise there is purpose in the midst of pain. New life is springing forth.

Promise poking through those holey places, held fast by the glue of His grace.

Bringing transformation, change and healing.

holes ~ tanka poem pin 2

 

Equilibrium

/ Joy Lenton / 6 Comments

equilibrium PJ post file image

‘Equilibrium’

To be both fully human

and fully alive

is to be in touch

with joy and pain

holding both

in balanced equilibrium

as though they

were the same,

to drink willingly

from each cup

without reserve

as we learn to thrive

within this world

And think no less

than they deserve

of one than another

esteeming all

as sister, brother,

revealing how

we can survive

our time on earth

firmly planted

in Kingdom reality

and shared humanity

©JoyLenton2014

equilibrium poem file image pin

Whistling in the dark

/ Joy Lenton / 2 Comments

praying_on_bible_red

Sounds reverberate off the ceiling. Bounce back to knock us sideways.

We hear our voice alternately whispering, crying, calling out.

Is this a monologue or a dialogue? Better not to say anything, perhaps.

Does silence really speak volumes?

Sometimes praying can feel like speaking to ourselves.

Is anybody listening? Or are we just whistling in the dark?

Thoughts swirl loud. Hearing our heartbeat pounding.

Murmurs of life pulse and throb, yet all around is a seemingly empty void.

Can you hear me, God? Am I getting through to You?

So often we feel lost. Adrift on a sea of sounds of our own making. All feels dark. Empty.

Yet it is here, in the depths of silence, where God reminds us darkness is as light to Him, and there is no place where He cannot be found by seeking souls. No way He cannot make Himself known to a listening heart.

Cathedral cloisters ~ listening poem pin

 

Our tears are prayers, carefully collected, cherished.

The unspoken cries of our hearts are heeded.

We need to remember this as we call out as the psalmist did:

“God, listen! Listen to my prayer, listen to the pain in my cries” ~ Psalm 102:1 (The Message)

It’s in rest and quiet, in a drawing aside, a laying down, a giving, offering and opening up that we ready ourselves to hear and receive.

Come aside. Breathe deep. Inhale Holy Spirit breath. Lay aside doubt, preconceptions and prejudices.

Come empty to be filled.

Come thirsty to be refreshed.

Come to the One who knows you inside out.

Make space to just be. To let go of anxiety and pain. God is big enough to take it all.

Quiet your heart. Still your voice. Tune out the world and tune in to Him.

We can never emerge from God’s presence the same as we came into it.

Let Him love on you. He is the giver of all good gifts, Father of compassion, Restorer of all brokenness.

Come, my friend, come…. seek the Light, seek grace, seek God.

He is here. He is listening. Meet with Him in the mundane moments. Sense His hand in everything. Listen to your life.

Wait with holy expectation. Keep hoping. Keep believing. Stay in faith. Live mindful of His Presence. In due time, answers will come.

47051-ExcellentQuotations.com-Mother-Teresa

Our friend

/ Joy Lenton / 6 Comments

friendship post file image

Genuine friendship is a gift to treasure.

To proffer the hand of friendship to another is to offer yourself in support of their wellbeing, and open yourself to reciprocal attention, care and concern.

Feeling heard and understood is rare in a world that is often too busy to listen or too indifferent to care.

Multiple connection points are provided, but true friendship is a gift of grace.

When it’s all about what you do, who you are, what you look like and who you know, it provokes competitiveness, discouragement and despair at not fitting in with the world’s perceptions of who they think we should be.

As we get assessed, found wanting and bypassed, we can easily feel isolated, rejected and neglected.

So where does our security lie? Is it in the numbers of followers, fans, ‘likes’ and comments we receive?

No, far from it. It’s a shaky foundation indeed to build our self-esteem on other people’s fluctuating, fickle feelings.

Though it’s not all bad news on social media; it does have its positive side regarding friendships.

I’ve been greatly blessed by the wonderful on-line community of writers, poets and bloggers, M.E and chronic illness sufferers, and fellow Christians I have got to know and consider to be real friends.

They are genuine, giving and caring people who lift, encourage and help me come up higher. I thank God daily for them.

And I’ve been bruised by putting too much store on how people in general interact with me.

There is only one friend who will never let us down, always be there for us, consistently reliable, capable, loving unconditionally despite knowing all there is to know about us.

His Name is Jesus.

Our greatest Friend, Lord and Saviour.

And as my real life friendships often fall foul of the challenges presented by my having M.E ~ finding it hard to never know when I’ll be well enough to speak on the phone, be visited, or meet up ~ it is His friendship that means the most to me.

I’m joining here with Lisa Jo and other brave writerly souls  for the challenge of Five Minute Friday, where we write freely, letting words fall as they will with no deep reflecting, on this week’s topic of  ‘Friend’. You are very welcome and warmly invited to take part.

START…

‘Our Friend’

This friend

has arms stretched wide

forming an extended circle

of Love for you and me

This friend

calls us to His side

forming a fellowship of grace

as brothers, sisters, community

This friend

provides a safe place to hide

when life’s storms overwhelm

He is shelter from all harm

and balm for every calamity

This friend

will brook no boast or pride

in knowing Him, for all

are welcome to enter in

embraced, held, received

This friend

is Rock against the tide

of sin and shame

taking all upon Himself

when He died and rose again

to set us free

©JoyLenton2014

STOP.

friend ~ our friend poem file image pin

 

Vibrancy

/ Joy Lenton / 4 Comments

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

 

Within the darkest recess of soil life stirs.

It cannot be held back for ever.

There is seed bursting forth. New growth appears. Fruit will come.

Arid, dry desert places give way to lush green, verdant growth.

In the Winter of our souls,  entombed hearts awaken to Life. Resurrection. Gasp of freedom.

Sense hope rising and faith stirring.

Vibrancy in the air; pulsation of purpose.

An awakening.

Call to rise up.

A new season has begun.

Yesterday’s mistakes, pain and problems can be laid aside, cast at the Saviour’s feet.

Grace calls us forward, upward and onward. Readies us for change.

The old is left behind as we welcome and embrace this day, this moment, this gift of new beginnings.

Gratitude grows strong in hearts ready to receive God’s best.

geranium leaf ~ vibrancy tanka poem pin 2

 

The road less travelled

/ Joy Lenton / 6 Comments

We tread a familiar pathway in this season of hope and renewal.

Walk through the Easter story with a weight of wonder.

Marvel anew at all our Lord went through as He trod the sand-blown, palm-strewn, hosanna-resounding, hostility-riven, nail-driven path to Calvary.

Our dark valleys and nights of the soul pale into insignificance beside Christ’s ordeal at Gethsemane.

Begging for the cup of suffering and sorrow to pass Him by.

Heart and soul in dread.

Sweating ruby-red from furrowed forehead.

Agonised at the thought of torment to come.

Never more fully human and fully God than in these heart-wrenching, lonely, decisive moments in history.

Friends slept oblivious as He waged war internally for our souls’ sake.

Faced being pinioned to a cross. Ready to accept all sin and loss.

Held captive so we could walk free in glorious grace-filled liberty.

Beating a path toward freedom as nails bite into torn, flailed flesh.

Thorns pierce deep and pain sears all senses.

crown of thorns file image

 

Here lies Love ~  unconditional and immeasurable ~ greater than anything we will ever know.

He took the road less travelled and takes us with Him too.

Ponder His Passion.

Poured out wine of His royal blood Divine.

Pursue the pathway.

Be taken to the cross.

Meet with glory.

Live to tell this eternal story.

cross image ~ You take me tanka poem pin